Embarrassment
365 Days +91.
The Betrayal And The Gut Instinct As I sat on my couch writing, my husband made dinner. I looked over to the kitchen at the man I felt so lucky to have met with a distant look in his eyes. "Babe, what's wrong?" I said. He looked at me for a minute and replied, "I'm fine." I looked at him, perplexed for a few minutes, and returned my attention to my computer screen. For some reason, I had an ache in my heart, and a gut-wrenching feeling in my soul, something inside of me already knew. I looked at him again, his eyes fixed on the floor before him, I decided to turn myself toward him once again posing the same question. "What is wrong?" His eyes never leaving the floor he said to me "I didn't even want to come home tonight." I felt like a punch to the stomach, my cheeks feeling a sudden warmth, "Well, that's nice. Why would you even say something like that?" I said. He looked up at me for a split second, and said "Just letting you know how I feel." I took in a deep breath, the feeling overwhelming, and I had no other choice to ask the question. "Is there someone else?" I said, He stood there quiet, eyes to the ground, every second feeling like an eternity. I could not take the silence anymore, the silence answered the gnawing in my heart. "There is, isn't there?" I said loudly. His eyes again landed on me as he opened his mouth and said the word I dreaded to hear. "Yes, there is." Anger grew inside me like a volcano waiting to erupt. "Who is she?" I screamed, "It doesn't matter." He replied. "Is it someone I know?" I asked. He paused and finally said "No." I grabbed my phone, looking for anyone to save me from this nightmare, I texted mutual friends, I slammed my phone down, I looked at him, and saw red. "Well, I hope you made the right decision because she is all you have now," I said as he gathered his belonging and made his way out the door.
By Courtney Benjamin4 years ago in Confessions
A Blue Dress Made Me Realize an Uncomfortable Truth
My eyes filled with tears as I struggled to avoid catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I knew I'd gained weight, but I hadn't realized how much until I tried to pull on the blue dress and found it wouldn't go past my thighs. Although my ex-boyfriend would disagree, I'd spent most of my life as either a thin or mid-sized girl. That moment when I was alone in the fitting room was the moment, I realized I was heavier than I'd ever been. My heart sank to my stomach as I realized I was probably plus-sized.
By Jade M.4 years ago in Confessions
A Face Palm of a Day Part: 2
Kate took a sip of her first mimosa and felt it instantly touch every part of her insides. Kate had been wanting to go to Carroll Place for a while and finally got a reservation. For $28 you could get an entre and all you can drink mimosas and other brunch drinks for an hour and a half.
By Leah Lawrence 4 years ago in Confessions
Supellectilem Cladis!
As of 5:15 AM this morning, I have stopped being a consumer of flatpack products from that Swedish company. I did not expect to have such a dramatic epiphany, but I realize now that I should have seen the signs earlier. And when you hear my story, you will understand my decision.
By Kendall Defoe 4 years ago in Confessions
My Tenth Grade English Teacher Destroyed my Love for Writing
This article was originally posted on Medium. When I was seven years old, I knew I wanted to become a writer. I loved reading, writing, and telling stories. The power of a pen was unimaginable; you could create new worlds, give rise to passionate emotions, and explore new adventures. Reading a book was like an escape for me. When reality felt complicated, I retreated to my favorite books.
By Jasmine 4 years ago in Confessions
Am I Committing Social Suicide?
My boss was telling this riveting story of how she got sick from drinking too much and puked in her handbag so as not to ruin her party dress. The others around me could relate to that. Some had matching or even more sozzled stories on offer.
By Rhea Dyuti4 years ago in Confessions
Hectic Mornings.
Some days I love being a mom of two head strong and stubborn children. Today was one of those days that has us mom's wanting to pull all our hair out and run for the hills. It started with everyone sleeping through three alarms and waking up almost two hours later than our normal wakeup call.
By Heather Rose Pfeiffer4 years ago in Confessions
Family Secrets
~~INTRO~~ How long can one keep a secret? What about an entire family? Most say they can keep a secret and even claim to be able to “take it to their grave.” I must admit keeping a secret for 17 years is quite impressive especially one that was so juicy. One, mind you, that involved an affair that lasted for some time.
By Courtney Watson4 years ago in Confessions
Positives, Inspirations, Pleasures...
It is in the beginnings of the songs, in the midst of its performance on my senses, in the heat that rises in its wake, that thoughts truly reign supreme. Thoughts of how I see my loved ones through the lens of my heart and wisdom and wonder. I see them in every vision that rises before my eyes, in any atom of sight that glows off in the distance, in those far off buildings and sights where in my mind I see things happening, imagining some epic piece of life playing out. It could be at the hands of the fate of the Universe or some chapter in some grand journey. Either way, it is being unblinded to those invisible depths of thinking and perception that Heaven leads me to find. Through the pain that a beautiful instrumental, be it a phone alarm or something I come across in my musical discovery travels, brings to me imagine the loss of losing those loved ones one day by mortality requisite, or sights of them dancing along with me, silly in the grip of society's perceived filter, but a glorious hope of a Heaven--a party...endless even--that awaits us beyond these grips of grief-tinged points of cloying reality. I see them dancing, young and old alike, and I laugh with joy; laugh at how they move and flow with such finesse, and remind me, even, of how larger than age and life those young ones reveal to me in their actions at times. Form may be said to be unimportant, and it all changes, and is transformed forever, but their forms are still of importance to me. My heart and tears ache and flow at the sights of their possible flaws, and my mind sees those things and feels them within the loving filter and system that is me; that is the one who loves them and would take on their pain for them, more than I could and even beyond what is initially prevalent and possible. They are everything to me. Even if there is so much more I could get out of my life, any possibility that involves leaving their physical side or proximity brings me pause and a necessity within to avoid action and to nip it in the bud. You see in movies often that people go through journeys--heading off far from their homes--only to realize that what was most important to them was already there, waiting for them to come back home. Then again, it could be societal conditioning, or the beliefs of others that have overriden those moments of re-reflection and potential for change. Whether it is many manipulating causes that push me to choose to remain in the life exactly as it stands, or perhaps not, here is where I feel obligated to stay, suffering or otherwise. What the hell do I HAVE to go out there for? When all those things that my soul would yearn for if they passed in my absence, are already here and now? It is a continuing attempt at going through a process; of working by the inspiration of self-help materials and leaders, as I mentioned in the companion rant article that preceded this one today. Perhaps it is akin to this writing process, which requires me to fill out at least a minimum of 600 words before I can process this writing exercise, art piece, what have you. How far ahead do we have to write the story of our lives before we can get to the next chapter? After all, we can always write the same characters into our next one, can't we? Every journey has its main players, and secondary characters, and even cameos, all of whom could be present along the length of the saga. Perhaps its time I craft my autobiography in a way: of past, present, and potential future. Who knows? Maybe such a future will come true after all?
By Ad-Libbing With The Z-Man4 years ago in Confessions
