Embarrassment
Professing My Dreams
Hey Mom, Happy Mother’s Day first and foremost because like you always said “give me the good news first, so that the bad news won't bother me so much”. So with that being said, I love you with all my heart and soul and thank you so much for being there for me. I have two confessions that I must get off my chest. I thanked you earlier for being there for me, but I feel like what I have done I know you would not only disapprove of but disown me altogether. The first confession I want to reveal is that although I am in my final semester of my Senior year at Chattanooga State, I am not attending under the same course of study that you wanted me in, which you wanted me to become a lawyer like you. I have chosen another course of study: Psychology. Yes mother, psychology. I know, I know, you always said that being a counselor to 'weirdos' as you called them, would not be a very lucrative career for me. Well mom, being a counselor to people whom you believe do not fit into the status quo is what I love to do because I do not particularly fit in either. The dollar amount is a decent salary for a counselor and I am confident I will survive. I also remember you saying that if I ever did decide to switch to another major, then you would cut me off financially. I used to be scared of not being able to survive if you stopped giving me money, but after working one full- time job and two part-time gigs, applying for a few scholarships and a private loan so that I can pay for my own college tuition and books. I switched to my major of choice when I was in my junior year and even though it set me back on graduation a few months, I am so glad that I made this decision. I do believe that right about now your reading this letter, breathing a sigh of relief because you are fully aware that there are far worse things to confess. However, as I mentioned in the beginning of this letter, I have two confessions, and I am sure you are already anticipating the second confession. The second confession that I must to tell you is that I am transitioning from man to woman. Going to college has had such a huge impact on me as far as accepting myself for who I am and not be ashamed anymore. Growing up under your roof mom, you didn't leave much room for me to embrace my individuality. You dragged me to church and forced religion down my throat, along with your church friends. You made me feel like being different was a sin, and that I was wrong to have these feelings. Even when I tried to talk to you about what I'm feeling, you would rush to the phone and call pastor and the other church members and start a prayer/fast to do what pastor calls 'Pray the gay away'. Just like school, you had your hand in my personal life as well, playing match maker with the women in our church. Your trying so hard to make me be the ideal young man that any mother would want their son to be, and I am sorry that I haven't exceeded your expectations. Mom, this is who I am and I cannot go back to pretending that I am happy when I am not, even if you are happy.
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