Dojos aren't Day Cares

I’ve touched on martial arts-related topics before, but I don’t think I’ve ever done a proper deep dive on Vocal. That changed after I fell down a Quora rabbit hole (yes, I do that).

For anyone unfamiliar, Quora is basically Reddit’s more polite cousin: a forum site where users ask questions and get answers from people who may or may not know what they’re talking about. I follow several martial arts spaces there, so I’ve seen my fair share of questionable questions—but one pops up constantly:

Should I get my kids into martial arts?

That question alone isn’t the problem. The one that really got under my skin was a variation of it:

Should I enrol my kid in martial arts even if he’s not interested?

I didn’t answer it on Quora, but I do have thoughts. So, here we go.

The Short Answer

No. No, you should not enrol a child in martial arts classes if they’re not interested.

The Longer, More Complicated Answer

I can already hear the keyboards clacking:

“Oh, but martial arts is good for kids—it builds character!” - Internet Keyboard Warrior (Probably)

And yes, that’s true. Martial arts can be fantastic for kids. It can build discipline, confidence, resilience, and respect.

But only if the student actually wants to be there.

That’s the part people keep skipping.

I've seen this in Person

Okay, so here's some background info before we go further.

My martial arts background is fairly simple. I've always been into martial arts since I was a kid, and have trained in two different styles. I trained in Tai Chi for two years before moving. In 2013, I started training in the ATA variant of Taekwondo. I trained for 10 years and earned my 1st Dan (1st-degree black belt) in 2020. My training lasted until 2023, when I had to stop.

I also studied the FLO Self-defense system through Udemy. Now, online courses are probably not the best way to train, but it was an interesting experience to go that route.

In the course of my training, I've seen plenty of kids who are there just because their parents want them there. More importantly, however, I've seen what happens to those students.

What Happens to Students Forced into Martial Arts?

Put simply: kids forced into martial arts get hurt.

Martial arts training is fun, but it's also a serious business that can cause serious injuries. Kids who don't want to be there, who don't want to train, don't pay attention in class. This means that they don't know all the rules (for starters), and they're not paying attention to HOW things are done. The form techniques often require a degree of flexibility and coordination; if you don't do them correctly, you get hurt. Likewise, the sparring work has specific rules which are often ignored by those who don't want to be there.

In Taekwondo, the sparring rules are fairly simple: you can kick and punch for the body, and kick for the head. You cannot kick below the belt...care to take a guess as to where I got most of my injuries? Yep, my knees, hips, and ankles.

They also mouth off at the instructor, which, while not exactly a source of injury, is very disrespectful. One area that WILL cause injury is the disruption of training. Why? Disrupting classes will frustrate everyone, and frankly, not everyone will take it kindly. Try running around and in between black belt sparring matches, see how long you can avoid getting kicked in the face at least once.

Dojos aren't Day Cares and Shouldn't be Treated as Such

In my experience, and this is going to sound really, really harsh, parents who put kids in martial arts even if they're not interested are looking for free childcare.

If you're a parent and you want to put your kid in martial arts, great, but make sure they're actually interested. Despite the indemnity paperwork and training, instructors can't be everywhere at once. With that said, please keep in mind that a Dojo isn't a day care center; don't treat it as one.

Anyways, I think that's everything. Let me know your thoughts, if you'd like to see more martial arts-related content, feel free to drop suggestions in the comments section.