Wit

Death by Laundry
Once upon a time, in a land far far away (yet close enough that most mother's can relate), there was a young mother who had been sick for an entire week. During this week, she hadn't done any laundry - despite it being an item on her daily to do list.
By The Schizophrenic Mom11 months ago in Humor
A Book, A Beer, And A Secret
He was always like this. Homework was done late at night, on the bus or in the schoolyard, and as for exams, well that was just the same.
By Mike Singleton 💜 Mikeydred 11 months ago in Humor
Digesting Words
Heavy rain continues to pour, creating red puddles of goo. I don’t have another name for it. It has the consistency of blood, but I’m unwilling to investigate.
By JBaz11 months ago in Humor
A Funny Thing Happened to Me After Work the Other Day
I’m about to dust off a real old vaudevillian chestnut. A funny thing happened to me after work the other day… You always hear that line or some variation of it on TV or in movies whenever they bring out a hacky comedian—“A funny thing happened to me on the way over here…”, “A funny thing happened to me the other day…”—and it’s always followed by some really corny old joke that’s been done to death like, “A funny thing happened to me on my way here to tonight: a guy comes up to me and he says, ‘I haven’t had a bite in days!’ So I bit him!” or “A funny thing happened to me on the way here: a guy walks up to me and he says he hasn’t tasted food in over a month, so I says to him, ‘Don’t worry; it still tastes the same.’”
By Frank Macaluso11 months ago in Humor
Egg-stra-sized . Runner-Up in Absurdist Awakening Challenge.
That time I went to Toronto for a weekend visit with my friends, the drive back didn’t go as expected. Whenever I am in Canada, I stock up on Canadian honey and snacks at Costco. I’m not the only American doing that. There are no Costco stores around Buffalo, so when I shop at the Niagara Falls Costco, I see many cars with the US plates.
By Lana V Lynx11 months ago in Humor
I Tried Meditation and Fell Asleep
Introduction The goal of meditation is to bring inner peace, clarity, and insight. But for me, it just brought deep, uninterrupted sleep. When I first decided to try meditation, I had high hopes that I would become more mindful, have less stress, and maybe even discover some of my own wisdom. I, on the other hand, kept drifting off into dreamland. At first, I thought I was doing something wrong. However, it turned out that my unintentional nap gave me a completely new perspective on meditation, relaxation, and what it really means to be mindful. The Decision to Meditate
By Afia Sikder11 months ago in Humor
Laughter Knows No Age: How My Grandma Became a Stand-Up Sensation at 75:
If you’d told me five years ago that my 75-year-old grandmother would be slaying audiences at comedy clubs, I’d have assumed you’d mistaken her knitting needles for a microphone. But here we are: Betty “Boom Boom” Wilkins, a silver-haired firecracker in orthopedic shoes, is proof that humor doesn’t retire—it reinvents.
By Sanchita Chatterjee11 months ago in Humor
The Dragon
“What do we want!” “A dead Dragon!” “When do we want it?” “Once an agreeable and equitable resolution on how to kill it presents itself!”
By Matthew J. Fromm11 months ago in Humor
How Cool Is This?. Top Story - March 2025.
All cool cats, eventually, should veer away from self-serving solipsism and ponder the "meaning of it all." It can't be all about bitchin' cars, "it" couples, clicks-and-likes, and liquidity, can it?
By Gerard DiLeo11 months ago in Humor
Level 9, Mad!
Interviewing politicians for his latest article depleted Nick of his humor and frayed his nerves. All he wanted to do was eat a quiet dinner and relax with a good movie, cuddled with his sweet little wife, Mia.
By KA Stefana 11 months ago in Humor
My Favorite Bottle
When I was six or seven years old, my mother, father, sister, brother and our neighbours went on a memorable trip. It was the first time I had witnessed a waterfall in real life, and I was left in wonder. It was so beautiful that (in my child brain) it was as if clouds were raining from the blue sky overhead. The waterfall was named Bopath Falls, and it was a place I would never forget.
By Rohitha Lanka11 months ago in Humor
Ghost of Wittgenstein Worries That Donald Trump's Existence Invalidates a Foundational Concept of Logical Analysis
The ghost of what many consider the greatest philosopher of the modern age, Ludwig Wittgenstein, appeared this morning outside his family estate of Haus Wittgenstein (also known as the Stonborough House and the Wittgenstein House) on the Kundmannagasse in Vienna, Austria. He appeared to be deep in thought and in great distress. Several onlookers who got too close received verbal tongue lashings from the great philosopher which caused them to break down in tears and run home to their mothers seeking comfort. Those who were able to approach at a respectable distance could hear him muttering to himself. Reportedly he was mostly speaking to about the current president of the United States, Donald Trump. He was worried that the existence of Trump has called into to question a foundational concept of logical analysis. Said the author of two of the greatest works on the philosophy of logic, language, and the mind ever written, Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus and Philosophical Investigations, “It has been accepted as the case since the beginnings of logical analysis and certainly with the advent of formal logic that those things which are nonsense can have no truth value. They can be neither true nor false. Yet, Donald Trump seems to regularly utter words in a certain order within our shared language that routinely violate what we all believed was an unbreakable rule. He somehow manages to say things which are both nonsensical, yet also false at the same time. Even more worrying is his seeming ability to break this rule with his actions which also manage to make no sense (ie. be nonsense) and yet somehow also be false at the same time. I understand this second concept may be difficult for those of you with limited intellectual capabilities, which frankly is basically all of you, to understand, and I will not be wasting my time explaining it to you, but suffice to say it is correct and you are a fool for questioning it.
By Everyday Junglist11 months ago in Humor