humor
"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "
Life's a bowl of lemons
Sometimes life is like a bowl of lemons. I don't exactly know what that means, people just tend to say things like that. Is it yellow and pulpy? I've never gotten that impression at all. I don't even know what that would mean. Life can be funny sometimes. That's something else people say, usually right before they go into a monologue about an ironic thing that happened to them, or how they ended up in a cubicle at a job they expected to hate after that football injury ended their college career and they're suddenly reintroduced to the person they took for granted in high school, so that a romance can bud. I don't really have one of those stories prepared but I'll see what I can do. *ahem*
By alan pierce5 years ago in Humans
Day after day I seem to push against the clouds..
If the old saying is true, then laughter really is the best medicine. I remember scrolling through YouTube’s suggested videos and seeing a video titled “when you are getting robbed, but you are broke”. This one-minute video by youtuber LongBeachGriffy, was only one of three videos posted to his brand-new YouTube channel. However, this video alone garnered well over 2 million views in a short time. The video itself was basic, one actor playing two parts all while simultaneously being the camera man as well. Therein lies the simplistic beauty to this and many of his other videos. He did not need a large crew of multiple people or fancy camera shots. His talent was making the audience connect and relate to him in a way that makes the laughter genuine. I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself. You know the kind of laughter I am talking about; it was the kind of laughter that made you laugh until you started to cry.
By Ember skyy5 years ago in Humans
They're Taking It!
THEY’RE TAKING IT! A Funny Car Chase of a Different Kind Since I had a rental car for the weekend, I decided to drive around to various car dealerships to look at cars I could possibly purchase. After all, I had not owned a vehicle in almost seven years. I combed through several different car flyers looking for dealerships with decent cars, as well as affordable prices. I found three located within less than a mile from each other; and less than 6 miles from the mall which I planned to shop at briefly before heading back home.
By S Nicole Callahan5 years ago in Humans
Writing something - is it a book? Probably not. If it were I’d call it “I Can’t Sleep”... but it’s probably nothing.
I can’t sleep. I know if I were to leave my body right this minute, float up to the ceiling and look back down at my body, I’d see my potato shaped lump under the blanket, my slack, half-moon face, and bed-head messy pink hair. But if I could see how I feel inside my head, like a shattered plate missing pieces so that it’s impossible to be put back whole, I would not look comfortable or at peace like a potato. If I could see my body representing that, I’m sure I would see my limbs impossibly askew, like a soft-bodied rag doll. Or like the fully ‘poseable‘ Barbie, in the pose she found herself in after the terrible accident she had in her convertible Malibu Corvette. I’ll never forget it, she drank too much and Ken was being a total dick that night. So she jumped in her sexy pink car, tearing off down the slick road, losing control, tires screaming, the car flipping over, and slamming into the metal barrier. She flew right over the windshield and landed in the road, her limbs all akimbo, her pretty pink pump with the silky pink polka-dot bow laying a few feet away, and her Italian silk kerchief snatched away by the covetous wind. Tragic.
By Heather Donald5 years ago in Humans
The Story of Scoot
Over the course of my life, many folks have asked me where I got the name, “Scoot"/"Scooter.” It is a funny story honestly, and I wanted to explain it for all my friends and folks who take the time to read these writings. To put it simply, I got it from my dad when I was a newborn.
By H. L. "Scooter" Ward, Jr.5 years ago in Humans
Bathrobes, Boats, and Curses
The door swung open and a heavy, sweat-soaked man rushed in the room. Another man, well nestled in a bathrobe and slippers, sat in a chair sipping coffee. The sweaty man took a few steps in the room before he paused to catch his breath. “Leonard, are you alright? I heard something coughing and sputtering up the road, and I thought I was going to have to call animal control to come and shoot some wounded animal wandering up the lane. If I had known it was you I would have called and had them use a moose tranquilizer – because I knew the second you’d stumble in here you would begin dripping sweat all over the carpet. Look – look at you go. You missed the wet t-shirt contest by about twenty minutes – better luck next season.” As the man talked Leonard remained hunched over catching his breath; he did not reply but only raised his right hand, presenting a well-intentioned single-fingered salute. Leonard knew there was no point in arguing, his brother Skip was a royal pain in the ass and always had been. Some people have always been told they were smart; others, like Skip, had never been told that and felt compelled to act as such in every scenario in the hopes that someone would call them that someday. That day hadn’t come for Skip and it was not going to come this day either. But today Leonard didn’t need someone smart, he just needed somebody to hear what he had just found.
By Peter Owen5 years ago in Humans
TelePrompter
JoAnne’s a slower reader than Tom, which is a headache because the Teleprompter has only one speed: “скоро”. At Channel 32, we broadcast live, weekdays 7pm, after re-runs of “American Trombone”, and have the second highest viewership of any local nightly news network in the Colorado/Southern Wyoming Territory. JoAnne and Tom are the Lead Anchors. They have a big glossy billboard near the I-25 off-ramp, eighteen-feet high, with smiles so bright there’s a Class-Action suit seeking damages for the up-tick in traffic collisions.
By Jacob Sheppard5 years ago in Humans
