humor

"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "

Way to welcome us all in with open arms! What about an open door policy?
It was a beautiful morning and the sun had just risen above the horizon. The birds could be heard along with the sounds of multiple animals making their presence known. It was surreal and fascinating to be on a safari in a huge animal reserve. The hope was to see and capture the images of as many wild animals as possible as my time in Africa was coming to an end. As we made our way through the reserve, I saw it. I called it ‘la girafe’ because for some reason everything sounds so much more refined and educated when said in French.
By Ali SP5 years ago in Humans
An Ode to Cake
While watching "Most Ridiculous" with my preteen daughter recently they played a video of a small group of people singing "Happy Birthday" to a little boy. He didn't seem very enthused and casually flipped over his before they had a chance to finish their song. It looked like something that his poor mother probably stayed up all night baking. I identify with that on a deep spiritual level, because I know exactly how much effort it takes to bake a cake with love. It was a very funny video and I'm sure that it will be a fond memory when he gets older.
By Megan Oliver5 years ago in Humans
My Nightmare From The Kitchen
My summer is not turning out the way I expected it to be. First, I am stuck in a different country far away from home. So, no family, no friends, and no home food. God, do you know how long I has waited to be able to go home, sit and relax and not have to meal prep? I was so sure my mother had already planned all our meals for the whole of my summer break because she missed me. Meal prepping is the single worst idea we have come up with as humans, and we have a lot of wacky ideas, so this is saying something. You’re telling me, that I must hold down two jobs, do full time university, and cook my own food, do my laundry, and basically survive on my own with no help from anyone else? Is this what adulting is because I feel more clueless than ever.
By Diya Shah5 years ago in Humans
I Wish Older People Would Stop Saying This.
Does anyone notice that older generations, especially Boomers, have a saying for something. Its as if these people live as if real life were a television show. In a sense, every other sentence they speak has to be some catchphrase or motto. While most of what older folks say may be funny, at times their words can be infuriating.
By Halden Mile5 years ago in Humans
The Gemini Way Of Life
If you were born between May 20 and June 21, you are… a disaster waiting to happen. Just kidding, you are a Gemini, twin ruler of the Air. According to Greek mythology, and possibly other mythologies, the Gemini sign is mutable and associated with positivity, but in the world of 2021, you cry every chance you get. Just kidding, again. Now we could do this the old way and I could give you a vague, ego boosting horoscope. But let’s do this the Gen Z way- a fully functional horoscope with slight appreciation and a lot of criticism.
By Diya Shah5 years ago in Humans
The Lady Killer. Top Story - May 2021.
From experience, I can tell you: conceit is a demon. After four years of promiscuity and success in the military, I created this grandiose image of myself. I was dubbed the “Lady Killer” from friends and peers. Never intimidated by women, I often led them from a bar to my place with ease. Comically enough, this confidence would hold no bearing when I pulled the wrong move at the wrong time, leaving me too embarrassed to speak.
By Max Avellaneda5 years ago in Humans
Honey, will you till me a garden?
I just wanted my garden tilled. This is not a euphemism. Its not even an elaborate task – I just wanted the small square of ground that I had identified weeks prior, to be broken up so that I could begin establishing my little corner of happiness. Sure, there were other tasks to be accomplished to make my garden whole – but this was the first step.
By Abigail Freeman 5 years ago in Humans
The Test
I fooled the system. Never again will I have to buy a diaper. Never again will I have to babysit or hear the ramblings of my crazy girlfriend about how I need to "step up." I never asked for this child.
By Brandy Enn5 years ago in Humans
The Birth of the Friend Zone
From the start of Kindergarten, Johnny and I were friends. He asked me to race him one day during recess, to which I gladly agreed, and that continued for the rest of the year. Johnny was easily the cutest boy in class. He had smooth dark skin that gleamed every morning from the Vaseline lovingly (i.e. generously) applied by his mother. He had an adorable smile, and an impressively long ducktail. For those of you who didn’t grow up in the early 90’s, duck tails were a thing. They were just a long piece of braided hair at the nape of the neck. The longer the ducktail, the cuter the guy.
By MJ5 years ago in Humans
My Quarantine Life
Quarantine was a blast. No, not the fun kind. The blinding, deafening, god-I-wish-I-wasn’t-here-in-the-first-place blast. What was I thinking? Oh wait, I wasn’t. Who picks up their suitcases in the middle of a global pandemic and TRAVELS ACROSS THE WORLD for university? Yours truly, actually. It all started when Trent University really subtly said “Hey, come back to Canada or you won’t be able to get your credits done in time”. But this is how it went like in my head “Hey, come back to Canada or you won’t be able to get your courses on time, so you probably won’t graduate on time, hence you will fail and drop out of university, and end up a total and complete failure”. Dramatic, right? Keep reading, this is just the tip of the iceberg. After a 14.5 hour gruesome flight from India to Canada, I landed here gripped with fear because my brain went into overdrive with questions like “What if they don’t let me in the country?” or “What if I piss off the immigration officer and get deported?” or the worst one “Oh my god, what if I sneeze in front of everyone?”. But the airport had something else in store for me. They wanted me out of there as fast as possible (not that I was complaining), and in that hurry they didn’t even check my temperature. Modern day horror story right? (fits well considering we’re it’s Halloween month) Anyway, a long cab ride later(and expensive), I was back in Peterborough. Fun. Not.
By Diya Shah5 years ago in Humans
What would Love smell like?
It is the smell that hits you first. It penetrates the air, making it thicker and fuller. The fragrance is sweet, as though blood has been drawn. But this rich smell isn’t blood, it is sweat. The odor of Human sweat when it is dripping in fear. Our scent is our calling to all other animals. Right now, I am the Lion and although I do not eat my victims; they satisfy my appetite. My dinner this evening exhaust himself with pleas of a different fate. I make no mistake in thinking I am God. However I am aware, believer or not; I am one of His messengers. So my fate is as set as this Gentleman.
By Hayley Coleman5 years ago in Humans
Picnic in a Cemetery
Each year in the Russian Orthodox Church on the Sunday after Pascha we go to the cemetery to bless graves and this year was no exception. The only difference was that this year was also Mother’s Day.
By D. D Bartholomew5 years ago in Humans