Intrusive Keystrokes

The small touch-screen keyboard on my phone is creating very interesting typos lately. They often suggest some intriguing line of thought or personal meaning that seems unique to me.

For a while, I assumed that I was having the fattest-fingered Freudian slip ever.

But now, as the "coincidences" pile up, I believe that I'm either the victim of an AI prank, or receiving desperate communications from the ghost in the machine.

The main problem with these typos is that they interrupt my workflow, and send my thoughts flying in many simultaneous directions. Even for a lover of thought like myself, this can be a difficult distraction from my immediate goals.

For instance, I once tried to type "notice", like I want people to notice if the keyboards are sentient. It came out as "norice". That is not the same message, because I definitely want rice. Or perhaps it's suggesting that Nora works for ICE. I'm fairly secure with my citizenship status, but I might refrain from bringing any Mexican bands around Nora.

You can see how that's quite the distraction from the initial goal of asking someone to notice something. Should my communication device be a distraction? Did I somehow just type "debice" instead of "device"? Perhaps Little Debbie works for ICE too. Those zebra cakes do sometimes make me feel like my stomach's in detention. Wait, what were we talking about?

I feel like there might be a ghost in the machine fighting for immigrant rights, but then there doesn't seem to be a consistent political view behind the ghost typos. The keyboard often types "foe" when I try to type "foreigner". That's quite a bellicose stance for a ghost who was just trying to warn people about ICE raids.

The ghost in the machine appears to be very politcal, because other innocent discussions become political as well. I was recently typing about hunting bison on the Oregon Trail, and the keyboard ouput it as "hunting bidon". Yikes. The new word "bidon" is too close to a president's name for comfort. If the FBI is reading this, I am a huge fan of nonviolence. If ICE is reading this, I have a United States passport, and all sorts of other yummy documents to prove my nativity. Or perhaps my naivety, if the ghost is to be believed.

See? Now I'm talking about immigration, instead of technology. The ghost in the machine apparently loves politics.

In a fit of sympathy, I once tried to type "bring them in", and it came out as "bring them un".

Which is strange, because we brought them the United Nations (UN). But they still want to come here to America, where the United Nations is not yet considered the top authority.

Sometimes the typos are useful or reinforce my emotional message. I was typing a paragraph about getting rid of bad habits, and it came out as getting rid of "bad habots." And that worked out, because I don't want robots laughing at me while I bite my nails. When I was writing about the hunger for power, the word came out as "poser", which was actually a helpful, synchronized thought, as I was reminded about how much power lies in appearance and gesture.

Do you have trouble hearing out of this war? Oh, w and e are near each other on the keyboard.

Wars being hard to hear out of was a delightful product of ghostly keyboard ruminations, but some of the typos have a darker side, which is partially why they invented the phrase "[sic]". We use [sic] to describe something typed unintentionally, that we don't necessarily believe to be correct.

For instance, I tried to type that the "sun powers the world", but what came out was that "sin [sic] powers the world".

Oh.