African marriages the graveyards of a womens dreams

The core of the problem

From the point a woman is born in Africa, her life is usually already planned out and predetermined for her by her parents. The planning goes a little like this, a girl grows up to about age 6, and then she takes on the responsibility of helping her mother around the house. At the age of 7 to 16 she goes to school, so she can at least learn to mumble the English words I do at her wedding coming up precisely when she turns 18. Now at this point you might be asking yourself how can she want to be married so young can she not want to pursue a higher education or a lucrative career path, the short answer is who cares what she wants to do with her life she is her father's child or more fitting in this situation property. In Africa, when a woman gets married, the spouse has to pay her father a certain amount the father demands for her daughter. These amounts can range anywhere from 3 to 45 thousand us dollars, depending on the women's sexual value. The fee will be even more hefty if the girl is a virgin.

This is a set-up that greatly disadvantage these women because not only are they getting sold they don't even get a single penny from it, and they are coached by their mothers to essentially be passive yes dolls that agree to everything they are told, and they have one job to please their masters their husbands.

My Mother's current situation

This brings my parents into the picture, my mom has been nothing but caring and loving to me and my little brother and so has my father, but the amazing relationships they have with us do not translate to each other. I can sum up their marriage as two people who know damn well that this is not working out, but my father has all the finances and my mother has no degree no formal education or anything.

My mother has a passion for farming, and she wants a life outside of being confined inside the house. Three months ago she asked my father for some money to start a small chicken project and the response was laughter from him, as you can imagine my mother was not pleased with his response which lead to her not speaking to him. After a while, my father became a little annoyed, and he decided to put his wife in her place. Half an hour rant later, my mother simply decides she had enough and brought up the sacred unholy words “I want a divorce, and I am leaving with the kids right now”.it didn't take long for my name to be called and for me to pack my bags. My mother didn't know where we were going to go, but she was certainly not staying with her overload tyrant husband. While all of this was happening, my father shouted, locked doors and declared war with anyone trying to step foot outside.

The next day my grandma was already at the scene of the crime and as you might have guessed she was not there to rescue her daughter, she acted as if she was a customer service representative for some defective piece of tech telling her own daughter to shut up and be a good wife. This infuriated me but since my mother considers me as an adult she often listens to my suggestions, I told her that I would try to find her a job as cleaner at my friend's house. The economy in my country is in ruins and jobs are pretty much none existent unless you're highly educated, or you know a guy who in turn knows another guy.

I am a junior member of Parliament and for my American folks it's same as the House of Representatives but for the youths to deal with problems facing other youths. I have connections with some wealthy people's children who are my fellow members of Parliament and I negotiated for my friend to tell his mother about my mother's predicament, and she gave my mother a cleaning job. My father agreed for her to work because he knows her pay is low, but that did not discourage my mother, she saves every penny and in retaliation refuses to eat or spend anything purchased by my father. She does have a phone, she buys her own food and sleeps in the kitchen on the couch.

My opinions moving forward

At this point, I want them to divorce, but it is complicated for her because of legal reasons. For starters, she has to hire lawyers, of which she can not afford them. She has to show proof of abuse of which that has to be a physical abuse we do not have that or if both parties agree to separate of which my father would never. I live in a backward society that women are not offered equal opportunities. Women had two choices to get married and commit to nothing else or to make yourself undesirable to men that on one wants you and that usually means being a prostitute. Fortunately, times are changing and women are getting more freedom, but what about those who were never offered choice. They remain empty and soulless vessels of regret and misery who have to claw their way out of a never ending pit of hopelessness. Many women see how hard it is getting their lives back and will often choose to do nothing because they have conceived defeat to the predetermined scripted life set out for them long even before they were even born.