The Quiet Side of Elder Abuse: What I Witnessed Working in a Lab

Elder abuse doesn’t just happen in nursing homes.

It happens in cars, waiting rooms, doctor offices, and in public — right in front of people who have no power to stop it. I learned that the hard way when I was a Site Lead at Labcorp.

This is one of the stories I’ve never been able to forget.

When They First Walked In

It was a normal afternoon — steady patient flow, paperwork, and the kind of rhythm only healthcare workers understand. An older couple walked in with their daughter, a woman who smiled at staff but turned cold the moment she faced her parents.

I’ve seen impatience before.

This wasn’t that.

This was contempt.

Her father had a 1 PM appointment for a PT/INR. He believed he needed to fast — which he didn’t — and I didn’t yet know he was diabetic.

When we called him back, he said he needed to eat and use the restroom. He looked unsteady on his feet, which is not uncommon for elderly patients, so I brought him a chair to sit safely.

His wife gently fed him oatmeal from a small container. Their daughter stood over them, irritated by nothing except their existence.

The Fall

I stepped to the front desk to enter the next patient’s order — and then it happened.

A thud.

A gasp.

A sound every healthcare worker knows instantly.

My coworker and I rushed back. He was on the floor.

Oatmeal everywhere — the wall, the floor, the chair legs.

Instead of concern, the daughter exploded. Not at the situation —but at them. She yelled at her father. Yelled at her mother. As if his medical condition was a personal inconvenience.

We helped him into a room so he could lie down. That’s when his wife quietly said:

“He’s diabetic. He hasn’t eaten today.” Everything clicked.

I told them we couldn’t do his labs that day and to return the next morning. I promised I’d make him priority and take him immediately — no signing in, no waiting.

As they left, we heard the daughter’s voice echoing into the parking lot: “You make me sick. I don’t have time for this. I’m tired of taking you everywhere.” "This don't make any sense, yall are getting on my nerves!"

And then my coworker told me something that made my stomach twist. “Did you see the makeup on his arms?” When we cleaned the wall, we noticed beige concealer smeared into the oatmeal. Someone had covered up bruises.

The Next Morning

I meant what I said. They arrived first thing, and I brought him straight to the back. I asked the daughter to stay in the lobby. She didn’t like it. I didn’t negotiate.

My coworker joined me as I cleaned his arm for the draw. When the alcohol pad touched his skin, the concealer lifted — revealing the truth underneath.

Bruises.

Fresh.

Old.

Different stages of healing.

All concealed under layers of makeup.

This wasn’t neglect. This was almost certainly abuse. Possibly toward both him and his wife.

When You Know Something Is Wrong… and Still Can’t Act

I did what I was supposed to do. I emailed my supervisor and Regional Supervisor and asked:

“What’s our protocol if we suspect elder abuse?”

The answer broke me. Unless the abuse occurred on company property, we could not:

file a report

call adult protective services

request a welfare check

alert authorities

Because I did not want to violate HIPAA, PHI, plus it was a liability for the company and a violation of company policy. My hands were tied. And it is a terrible thing to watch someone walk out the door knowing they are returning to a situation you legally cannot intervene in.

I still remember their faces. Their gentleness with each other. The fear they masked. The bruises under that makeup.

Some stories stay with you forever.

This is one of mine.

Elder Abuse Happens Everywhere

People imagine elder abuse happening in long-term care facilities. But most of it happens in private homes. Behind closed doors. Often at the hands of adult children or caregivers. And many victims never report it because they are:

• scared
• dependent
• ashamed
• financially trapped
• isolated

It is far more common than people think.

Signs of Elder Abuse You Should Never Ignore

Physical Signs

• Unexplained bruises

• Makeup covering injuries

• Malnutrition or dehydration

• “Falls” that don’t match the story

Behavioral Signs

• Flinching around the caregiver

• Fearful or hesitant to talk

• Confused but anxious

Caregiver Red Flags

• Speaking over the elder

• Impatience or anger

• Sugar-sweet to staff, cruel to family

• Blaming the elder for medical needs

Environmental Signs

• Neglect

• Poor hygiene

• Missing medications

• Contradictory explanations

If something feels off — trust your gut. If You Suspect Elder Abuse

• You do not need proof.
• You do not need certainty.
• You do not need permission.

Call 911 if someone is in danger.

Elder Abuse Hotline:

1 (800) 96-ABUSE

1 (800) 962-2873

1 (800) 955-8771 (TTY/TTD)

Reporting can save someone’s life.

Final Thoughts

I think about that couple often. Their quiet resilience. Their fear. Their tenderness toward each other. And I think about how many others are out there — unseen, unheard, hidden behind concealer and silence.

Elder abuse is real.

It’s everywhere.

And it deserves to be talked about.

If this story stays with you, share it.

Awareness saves lives.

Author Note

This story is based on my real experience as a phlebotomist. All identifying details have been removed to protect privacy.