Humanity
Blue & Red Makes Purple
"When I was... a young girl... my father... took me into the city... to see a marching band." Actually, my father didn't do that because he's in prison. I just wanted to relate to my audience starting on a high note (g-note to be exact). The last part is true though. It is an irrevocable fact that I was, indeed, a young girl.
By Leanna Hill Vanderford4 years ago in Confessions
Ghost Baby
A heartbeat. It's the pulse that brings things to life. Or ends it. Our little clock that is in time with the world we are living in. The energy of it warms our blood to flow, and fills our bodies with the energy we absorb from its movement. The heart is earth. Blood is water and fire. Oxygen is the clean air we need to breathe to keep stepping on.
By Danielle Mullineaux4 years ago in Confessions
A moment with hope.
Around this time last year, I wrote about hope. I was angry and hurt. Life was just dark and dreary. The days endless and the nights evolving into scenes of helplessness. I was exsiting only because I had to. Because of responsibility and need. I existed. But I didn’t live. I couldn’t laugh. Anger simmered within every part of me. And hope, that elusive light of possibility. It seemed to be a cruel, unfair privilege that I had no use for. I didn’t want to hope. Because at that time, everything was dark. I couldn’t see a way out. There was no light. Just the daily grind filled with a sense of overwhelming helplessness that weighed down my existence. I worked, took care of my kids and fell asleep with an unsettling feeling of wishing tomorrow would never come.
By Chaosstar4 years ago in Confessions
The Truth About Empathic Enabling
By: Amanda Spradlin 12/31/2021 Yes, you read the title right. We empaths sure have a way of breaking things down for everyone else. We can discuss their confusing behaviors. We can explore their level of emotional maturity, but very rarely are we willing to admit our own role of participation. We enable and sometimes even encourage others to continue choosing things that do not serve them, or us, by over-extending our compassion. Sometimes, the best help we can give someone, is none at all, because that is the only way that they will have an opportunity to figure things out for themselves.
By Amanda Spradlin4 years ago in Confessions
Created Feelings
I had this happen to me, and it still has no ending, even though for myself it already ended, but the way I live, I can tell the ending hasn't occurred yet. Like I could never think of half of the shit that has happen in my life recently, it's just what I am experiencing. I have no free will, and this is my experience with created feelings.
By I am me Amanda Nissen/Champion4 years ago in Confessions
LOCK OPEN BY MIND
The story is of a man who could open any lock. Whether it was the lock of the safe, the lock of the jail or the lock of the house, no matter how high the security lock was, he used to open it. People used to wonder how he could do this. So one day an event was held, a challenge was placed that that person would open the lock of a chamber and come out of it, he would be locked inside the chamber and lock that chamber and put it in the swimming pool will be filled with water.
By Mohit Chawla4 years ago in Confessions
How to be a F*ck*ng Fairy Princess?
When I was 7, my primary school teacher asked us to write in a few sentences who we want to be when we grow up. I came home very excited about the assignment and I told my mum I wanted to be a princess. She told me I couldn’t write such bullshit (she might have used different wording) and I should be more realistic. I should write about becoming a doctor. Since I was only 7 and didn’t know any better I listened to my mum and wrote down exactly what she told me to write. Sentence by sentence. Word by word…crushing my soul. To this day I remember how upset I was. How much I DID NOT want to be a doctor.
By Martyna Dearing4 years ago in Confessions
I'm Ok
Questioning the answer I’ve given allot lately. This is my confessions. Sometimes I lie to myself and say I'm ok. Most of the time I lie to others when I say I'm ok. The truth is I’m not ok, sometimes I just want to scream until I pass out. Sometimes I wish I had the balls to say, I'm not ok. I am twenty-seven years old and I just found out it is ok, to not be ok. I am now more aware of mental health. For years things I have felt I could not speak on. Due to my past, I was doomed at the age of 6 l. By the time I was 13 I had 3 sexual abusers haunting not only my dreams but my everyday life. Having to live in the world alone because I couldn’t trust anyone my mindset matured and my childhood was left behind quickly. I’m ok. I have repeated to myself through the years with tears running wild like ocean water down my face. I eventually blocked out my trauma enough to fail myself again. I trusted someone who I thought was an older brother figure to me. He became my 4th sexual abuser and yet I still have to continue to be Ok and remain a functional mess. But I’m proud to say I’m a step closer to being better because I acknowledge it. I know now that all those times I was not ok but I do want to be better than ok and that starts with the truth. I told my mom and dad what happened to me on December 2, 2021. I’m proud of myself. I came so far when I thought I would get nowhere. Some would say I was cursed because I now I'm a lesbian. But I do NOT think my sexual preference is based on what happened to me. In fact, I believe my sexuality is a blessing because I don't think a male could give me the love that was stolen from me the very first time my innocence became someone's option. The woman I fell in love with gave me the will to live honestly now more than ever now that my secret is out. It has been 6 years and throughout everything, she sits here comforting me using my love language and I cringe at the physical touch of anyone but welcome her's I am enveloped in peace. Saying what happened to me out loud is something I didn't think I would survive to do. I have social anxiety and can only be around certain people as well as if I do have people in my presence it's a limited amount of time. Now that I brought you up to speed with a few things that are going on in my life can you understand why I am now buckling down on my mental health, working on being around a family who should now see through my unauthentic smile, but has only shown me reasons why dealing with this alone could still be better. Both routes I have chosen are extremely difficult if I survived endless torture from others and myself for 21 years I think I owe it to myself to Live in my truth. I don't understand others' thought processes when it comes to this topic in but I can say there is no handbook on how to survive. There is no time frame on when you can speak your truth. Since the day you were born it was always supposed to be on our time and when we were ready. If you read this please understand it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to feel how you feel and express yourself. It’s ok to still have hope and try again.
By D.A.M.N Ent.4 years ago in Confessions
Elevating The Mind
I have bad habits left and right, and most of them place themselves rent-free in the base of my brain, no matter how hard I shake my skull. In fact, it seems that the harder I try to get rid of the daunting above the tip of my spine, the more that they stick to me, and to the crevices of my brain that make me, well, me.
By Shyne Kamahalan4 years ago in Confessions
From The Beginning
To whom it may concern, I'm not sure what to say. I don't really know where to begin. I would start at the beginning, but that part is a bit blurry. I wish I could remember everything clearly. Alas, my memory fails me. No matter what the beginning is, there are things that must be said. There are things that I must get off my chest. I have a story that I need to tell. Something that I should have shared a long time ago. I wasn't sure if I wanted to share my story at first. However, I felt that in order for me to move on, I needed to get it out. I need someone to hear it. I need someone who is actually willing to listen. I will admit that I never thought that I would ever do something like this. Please keep an open mind. Try not to judge me too harshly. I was very young when these things first happened. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to process the trauma. I still don't. It's consumed me for long enough. I want to be free from this burden. I'm tired of feeling guilty for what was done to me. It’s not something I wish on anyone. All I ask is that you try and understand. There were things that happened when I was young. Things I wish I could take back. Things that should have never happened. They did however and it can never be undone. The pain can never be unfelt. The betrayal and guilt will follow me for my entire life. Even if it wasn't my fault. It’s haunted me most of my life. I wish that I could take it back. Sadly, it’s stuck with me for all of eternity. I wonder what would have been different if these things had never happened. I thought it was my fault for a while. Like I had done something wrong. It took me years to realize that I had done nothing wrong. Nothing that I had done made it my fault. This is my life and I deserve to be heard. I deserve some peace. I'm sick of hiding what happened. I don't want to keep it a secret anymore. I want to be free from this burden. I want to be truly and fully happy. I will no longer let my trauma define me. I will no longer protect those who have hurt me. I am a broken shell of a once happy girl. I'm going to change that. I am going to take back the control that was stolen from me. I will no longer live in the shadows of other people's mistakes. I have done nothing to be treated like that. I'm starting to notice more and more how many people that I don't need in my life. The more boundaries I set, the more people leave. The more I stand up for myself, the more people think I'm rude or disrespectful. I'm done letting people think they can walk all over me. I'm done letting people think that just because I don't say anything that means they can disrespect me. I'm becoming myself more and more every day. I'm going to speak my mind. I'm done staying silent so others will feel better. I'm done trying to spare other people's feelings. I'm taking back control of my life. I'm ready to live my life to the fullest. No more letting other people make my decisions for me. Time to get back to being me strong and independent self.
By Jasmine Harris4 years ago in Confessions
