Embarrassment
Caught With My Pants Down
What I'm about to share is both extremely gross and utterly embarrassing. My story will end with me in a very vulnerable and compromising position with my pants down caught in an unavoidable epically disgusting act. This is the kind of story that doesn't take too long to get to the point, where I reveal to you my life's most awkwardly awful moment. My admission here will have you both grossed out and feeling absolutely sorry for me in my moment of shame. However, before I can conclude with my dubious episode I have to take you all back to where I contracted the issue which would lead to my disaster in a San Diego Parking lot back in the fall 2006.
By Meko James 5 years ago in Confessions
Oops
Ok so I don’t know about you ladies out here, but when it’s almost that time of the month, I get pretty bloated, crampy, hungry, emotional, poopy and worst of all, gassy. I know I cannot be the only one haha. It was a Monday morning, around this time I was working early shifts so it was around 4 am at work, my job is to change the prices around the store, doing resets, checking for expired stuff, etc. So Mondays I typically do prices changes and when I do price changes I’m walking around a lot. nobody is there at 4 am besides the night stockers but they go on lunch around this time so the floor was free from people. Feeling extra gassy this fine Monday morning, I have to ask if you are familiar with crop dusting?? Well since no one was around and I walk around that’s what I was doing hahaha it’s horrible but come on, let’s get real everyone has done this. Sometimes I’m changing prices on the same aisle so I’ll be walking back and forth. I was on aisle 1 and I had to change a lot of prices on coffee and sodas, so I was walking up and down and let me tell you, it did not smell pretty. This is gonna sound gross but I like to smell my farts sometimes... gosh I can’t believe I’m telling you guys this I hope you guys never meet me in person ha. Anyways, I’m doing my job and there’s still some night stockers on the floor but in the frozen section, I go say hi to them, I’m literally friends with everyone at work. While I’m talking to them I feel my stomach just bubbling and I know I have to let one out soon so I cut the conversation short with my friend Isaiah and walk off quickly into the nearest aisle. *pffttt* they are silent but deadly. I go back to the grocery side and I’m in the candy/juice aisle, nobody is there and no stockers need to be on this aisle since it’s already done. I’m just letting them rip not a care in the world. All of a sudden, I hear my name and my coworker is running to me! I start to panic like “oh crap it smells like a rotten egg around me!!” At this point it’s too late for me to walk towards them and away from the smell, even if I did do that, I always read that farts follow you for about 30 seconds or something. Either way I would’ve been screwed. “Hey! Good morning I was looking for you to ask about this NIP (new items pog) to see if you could help me.” I’m literally looking at her nose and see her sniffing. I’m so embarrassed man and I know she knows that I know that she smells it. I just flat out say “I’m so sorry you had to walk into my fart.. I know it smells.” Just to skip all the awkwardness and just get it over with. Bursting into laughter she says “oh my gosh dude I didn’t want to say anything but it’s ok!! It does smell pretty bad though I’m not gonna lie to you.” I proceed to tell her that I get gassy before my period comes and she tells me she does too and she poops way more as well. So I go to help her on the NIP. Then go back to my work. It’s about 6:30 am now, still not many people in the store so I continue to dust the crop haha and this same coworker comes AGAIN. She’s halfway down the aisle this time I just yelled to her “dude I just let out a big one please don’t come over here it stinks!” She just turns around and walks back to wherever she came from. I’m literally shaking my head at myself like oh my gosh why. After some time where I felt comfortable enough to know I probably won’t fart anytime soon I go find her to see what she needed. This is the last time I crop dust. Next time I’m just gonna go to a part of the store nobody walks by or will find me. That part is in the back by the trash chute. It’s perfect, it already smells by it so you’ll never know it was me if someone were to come back there this early for any reason. I have other stories were I was embarrassed, like tripping over some boxes in front of a very cute overnight stocker left in the middle of the aisle. Or asking one guy how does he kiss and him laughing at me for even asking that. In my defense, I just wanted to know in case I tried sticking my tongue in his mouth and him pulling away like what the hell. He was younger than me not that much younger but I don’t know haha maybe he never kissed like that.. that’s embarrassing but that’s literally the only guy I ever asked how he kissed. The farting is more embarrassing. I’m glad my coworker was a girl as well and not a dude.
By Cynthia M 5 years ago in Confessions
A Startling Discovery
You know those times where you think of an absolutely brilliant plan? You spend hours thinking of something incredible or that perfect idea just comes into your head, but then when you try to execute it, it goes horribly wrong? This is one of those stories.
By Jamie Lammers5 years ago in Confessions
One of My Most Embarrassing Moments
It was a meeting room with 30+ people sitting in a corporate office to hear someone on a presentation. The presenter started talking, and in just about 2 minutes, he went blank. He could not utter a word further. Fortunately, one of his colleagues stepped up to do the rest of the presentation. The initial presenter was none other than me, and I felt very embarrassed as that event took place several years ago.
By Ganesh Kuduva5 years ago in Confessions
FOR ME
FOR ME When things are up and down in your life sometimes you can not think straight. When I started work it was a great job, but it was downtown. Parking became so expensive I decided to carpool. So, I put out an ad around work to see if anyone lived in my area. Took the bus a few times but when the full moon would come out that was the end of public transportation. People could write books about the things that happen on the bus or on the way to work.
By Denise Dick5 years ago in Confessions
This Story Really Happened.
It was spring in Las Vegas. April, the year 2011. I would consider myself a reasonably bright individual. Resourceful, for sure, the outdoors type-more yes than no. Christina, a good friend, and I had recently worked ourselves into somewhat of a hiking frenzy, or the beginning of one. We headed out to Red Rock Canyon around 10 am to get a “quick” hike in before our day in the busy city life got started. We chose a loop trail that should have only taken us a few hours. Perfect to get ourselves going on that crisp Las Vegas morning. Trying to escape the "madness in every direction, at any hour" or so Hunter S. Thompson, the author of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, would describe the lifestyle.
By Franchessica Hannawacker 5 years ago in Confessions
Has Anybody Seen My Dignity?
My life is a sitcom. I say that because it's comical. At least once a day, others are laughing at my expense and I can eventually laugh along with them, but it takes a minute to get over the initial sting of whatever shameful thing I've done most recently. Every new embarrassment comes with a little joy ride down memory lane. It's super fun. I get to relive all of my very best bloopers, and reflect on how much of a train wreck I am.
By Emily Bartlett5 years ago in Confessions
Flipping out
It was the summer school holiday, sun shining, no school or chasing the bell, what are some school kids to do? The possibilities are endless. From going to the mall to indulge on hours of literally nothing, hanging around in corners in our little cliques, trying to meet with girls from the neighboring schools. Or maybe the beach, its fun, there’s sand and water, to add sweetness to the taste you can slide your tongue on a frozen cold dairy concoction. But on this faithful day, me, my best friend and brother decided it was time to start training as a ninja. I don’t know why, but teenage boys really like ninjas. Could be ‘cause they look so cool and mysterious, covered from head to toe, eyes the only part exposed to the world, I like to think its so the victim gets a last glimpse of their reflection in the ninjas eyes, as the shuriken hits its mark. Admittedly, I was a big fan of the show Naruto, yeah, yeah, you know of it!! candidly speaking I would even run to places in that all distinctive style, popularized by the show, hands hanging behind you as if you’re about to take flight, the wind under your heel, as a grown man, the mental image is quite embarrassing, but thats not the embarrassing story I am here to tell you.
By Fernando5 years ago in Confessions
Falling Down Is Not Just For Humpty Dumpty
In the spirit of not having any regrets in life, I wish to make an embarrassing health confession. I was stressed out from my part-time retail job back in December 2020. Heck, it wasn't even Christmas yet, and the company's head office team from another state were coming to visit the two stores in Sydney; and the pressure was mounting. Just leave us alone were my thoughts back at the time; particularly as the two stores I worked at kept the business alive during the pandemic. Cleaning and serving a consistent boat load of customers (it certainly felt like it at the time) on my own the day prior to this accident in a tiny shop was stressful; as well as juggling my UX Design freelance work (with one ongoing client at the time). On the morning of my fall, I had to come into work at 6am, in order to help them finish the clean up efforts. That three-hour shift dragged on, and lo and behold 9am came, and I could not rush home fast enough to get changed into a loose, summery dress with thongs, and meet my partner, and then head to the beach together. He had no regrets by quitting his law job a few weeks prior.
By Justine Crowley5 years ago in Confessions
The Time My Google Assistant Tried to Get Me the WRONG Date
To this day, my cheeks flush and I press my lips tightly together before shaking my head in rueful laughter about the time my Google Assistant tried to set up a secretive rendezvous for me with a married man!
By Maria Calderoni5 years ago in Confessions
My Legal Stigma
It took a lot of consistent therapy sessions from my husband and a lot of self-conversations with my alter ego to come to this level of confidence of penning down the most embarrassing moment of my life today. My sexual relationship with my husband suffered it for a long time but he understood where that was coming from. Where should I start from? Let’s just say my very religious African mother caught me having oral sex with my husband, for you to be able to understand the gravity, I better start from the very beginning.
By Taiwo Ogunnimo5 years ago in Confessions
