Nonfiction
How Things Went From Wonderful to Terrifying.... Content Warning.
In October of 2014 my daughter was born and Wade immediately took over as her father. My ex husband was sort of in and out of his son's life at first and it took the first couple of years after the divorce for him to really get it together so to speak and establish a solid routine with his son. By this time, Wade and myself had married and he had well established himself as my daughter Rayne's father. To back up a little, we married in April of 2015 just 8 short months after initially starting to date. There was pressure from Wade to marry and my family as my family is very conservative Christians and thought it best if we were to live together we needed to be married. In all honesty, I was not ready and I knew then that I was not ready for another marriage but with the pressure from my family and Wade who would even say things along the lines of "Baby, you better put a ring on it." making a reference to the song Single Ladies by Beyoncé. He was joking when he said it but he was also not joking and you could tell that. He proposed to me in November of 2014 which also incidentally was the same month in which my wedding anniversary had been with my first husband. He did so in my grandma's kitchen in front of my grandma so I felt pressured to say yes. I felt I had no choice to take things slow, it was either marry him or lose my house and him. I didn't like either of those choices really but I chose the one that seemed less scary at the time. I knew that I wanted to marry Wade probably, one day, I just wasn't quite ready then but what was the difference between then and a few months and/or a year down the road right? By the time we wed there were already cracks in our foundation but I chose not to see them. He constantly was jealous and told me that I brought up my past too much with my ex husband and that he was afraid I'd never love him as much as I'd loved my ex. Because of this jealousy which I didn't even realize was full on jealousy at the time, I soon became not allowed to speak of my ex in his presence. If I did, it was met with a death glare and very judging eyes. I would be told that I compared everything he did to my ex and that that was not fair to him. I'm not saying that this didn't occur on occasion I'm just simply stating what I lived through all the time, no matter the situation. Also, he did speak of his ex and brought things he'd lived through with her into our relationship frequently. There are certain things I cannot remember and certain things I can and there are things that no longer have a timeline in my mind's eye but simply a tainted memory of things lived through and things learned so I apologize if this comes as a bit scattered at times. I remember when we first got together and started fighting although it did take a few weeks for this to happen that I would have to go to the bathroom to get away from him. I remember I told my co-worker Sue this and she asked if I was okay? I remember thinking "Well, yeah, why wouldn't I be? Wait, should I be worried?". I told her I was fine that he just got a little insistent when arguing and didn't like to let things go so I had to separate myself. Also, there was the other time a local customer who knew of Wade warned me that he had a "temper" and to "be careful". I chalked it up to him just being nosey and it being a small town. I do remember bringing this incident with the customer up to Wade though and I asked Wade what the customer could have meant by that and Wade turned the question around on me by asking me "Well, what do you think he meant?" We then just laughed it off as a nosey customer. Speaking on the jealousy again, I remember one time I was texting back and forth between my granny and my daddy and I had left my phone on the charger on the seat of his truck to go inside for a minute and there was one or two things that they had said which he glanced at my phone and thought he saw, I honestly can't even remember what it was but it got Wade to thinking I was cheating on him and demanded I let him see my phone when I got back outside. I did but he thought I had deleted the message by then and didn't believe me. Also, once, we had just gotten through making love and I noticed that I had a text from a male customer of mine that had been trying to help me get a job. I went to see what the text was and to text him back and Wade went crazy on me saying that I was being disrespectful to him since we had just made love and I tried to explain that it was job related but he wouldn't hear it. To him, I was texting a potential lover right after making love to him and it was a slap in the face he said. So, hopefully all this gives you some context and I'll try to get back to the storyline now. Wade had a problem with addiction to cover up what had happened in his childhood. He used work as a coverup as he was and is still I'm sure a workaholic, he drank too much, he used pills and other substances. When we first got together, Wade told me that he had had a horrible car accident in his early 20's which caused him to have severe back troubles and shortly after that he got hooked on prescription pain medication. He told me that he was off those finally from his own free will because he looked at his boys one day and realized he wanted better for them. So, he told me that's why he drank some to help ebb that addiction. I thought that was so amazing that he could just stop the pills cold turkey like that for his boys. I truly admired him for that. What it took me a few years to realize was that he still was battling addiction just using a different poison....
By Lindsey Altom2 years ago in Chapters
How Things Went From Wonderful to Terrifying.... Content Warning.
My divorce with my first husband was final in August 2014 and by the time I got the divorce papers in the mail I had already been dating Wade 2 weeks. I remember I was so happy to get that paperwork in the mail that my pregnant self ran across the yard to give Wade a hug and kiss when I got them. The paperwork meant that I was officially legally divorced and could be with Wade. I wish to God I had opened my eyes a little wider to see the red flags that were already looming over an overcast sky. The funny thing is that I thought I was keeping a good outsider's perspective. Everyone around me was just happy I was happy and Wade was a hard worker so he made enough money for me to be able to keep my house. It was convenient really because when I met Wade he told me he had just gotten out of an awful long term relationship where his ex girlfriend was crazy and then of course there was that brief fling with K from my work but he said that he and his boys were living with his mother and step father and he was about to be looking for another place to live anyway and since I was having trouble figuring out how to pay for my house it made perfect sense we both figured for him to move in permanently. Soon, the what should have been red flags started to emerge. Well, they already had had I known to see them or had I not been so blinded by his passion and attention that I somehow couldn't see them. As it turned out, Wade had a lot of crazy exes. His ex wife and mother to his boys and he used to have crazy knock down drag out fights that he hoped to never repeat. He said they would throw things at each other, yell, scream, punch walls, push each other, etc. She was crazy though and she couldn't keep her hands off the men. He was a truck driver for the most part that's how Wade made his living and he said when he was married to her he traveled across country and he would get calls that she had other men at their home. He described in detail to me how bad her sex addiction was and how it destroyed their marriage. Then, there was the last long term relationship he'd had shortly before me with Amy we'll call her. He said Amy was always trying to force marriage on him and even bought them wedding bands. He said that Amy lived with most of her family though and that her and her family was crazy. He said that they'd talk about crazy things and get drunk and high all the time and he got so tired of living that life. Wade said it got to a point where he and his boys were scared to stay there and one night while Amy was ranting and raving about something he got a few clothes for him and his boys and got them out of there. Because of this incident though, it left Wade with pretty much nothing to his name. They had no beds, no toys for the boys, no possessions except a few clothes. Also, to top it all off he said that Amy still wanted him and still asked people about him and what he was doing nowadays. It was crazy. Then, there was this other girl that was one of his exes named Jin and she worked at the Dollar store in town and I was told who she was and what she looked like because she wanted him back too and if she found out that he and I were together she would probably try to cause me trouble. He wanted me to know this he said so I could keep myself safe and be aware of these situations. Are you seeing the red flags yet? I wasn't. I just thought, "Wow, what a troubled past this poor man has had and what a string of crazy exes. Good grief. I don't want that drama and they won't be starting anything with me." There was one thing that Wade never opened up to me much about though and that was his childhood. He always told me that he would in due time but that time never really came. Sure, over the years and with some coaxing I managed to piece a few things together but what I knew for sure was that his biological father was a nightmare and Wade didn't want to be anything like him. He said that his step father who we'll call S had come into his life in his late pre-teen years and raised him to be a good man. He idolized S and thought I suppose that every boy needed that in his life. My son was six years old and was going through the worst time in his life what with his parents divorcing and now this new guy had moved in and yet Wade for some reason thought he needed saving and some structure I suppose. Wade's motto was always something along the lines of shit happens, stuff it in a box, shut up and get over it. It seemed everything my son AJ did was the wrong thing in Wade's eyes and he kept trying to set him straight. I was told every time I stuck up for AJ that I babied him too much and that I was favoring him over Wade's two boys. I tried hard to accept NJ and LJ as my own but with the situation with my son starting pretty much right off the bat I immedietly set up resentments. It was in fact, a recipe for disaster but at the time I told myself "Well, Wade isn't the only one that says I spoil AJ so maybe I do need to buckle down a little. Maybe there is a happy medium in this somewhere because other than the children and parenting disagreements Wade and I are great with each other." I tried still even though I knew deep down I was failing my son in certain ways to please not only Wade but my son. I wanted the best of both worlds. I wanted us all to be one big happy family and I just knew it was possible right?
By Lindsey Altom2 years ago in Chapters
Morals of the Story
Toastmasters International is a group devoted to increasing communication skills, boosting the confidence of people learning to hone their public speaking skills. Meetings emphasize both listening and speaking skills, and newcomers work through lessons to assist them in creating their speeches.
By Judey Kalchik 2 years ago in Chapters
Messages From the Universe 🥹
I just had one of the most spiritually incredible days of my life. I can’t share the whole story until I am safely off this island… because I have to protect myself… let me just cut to end. The story start to finish would have a much more impressive impact but (safety first).
By Kayleigh Fraser ✨2 years ago in Chapters
Road to Admittance. Content Warning.
It takes a lot for a person to admit they need help and for me, it took me to lose everything I knew to finally admit to myself that I needed help. I purposely pretended to be fine, denied others reasoning to be concerned and refused to seek help because I selfishly didn't want it. I isolated myself because deep down, I knew nobody around me would be able to understand exactly how I felt. The pain in my chest and my suppressed anger, hurt and confusion all joined up together and made my thoughts become somebody I didn't recognize and often feared. My best friends, Trinity and Briana, knew I was getting worse every time the school bell rang and I had to make my way back home. They knew I had finally given up fighting my depression for my sexual abuse and my mother’s neglect; 5 years was too long to keep trying after the 9 years of abuse. And unfortunately there wasn't much they could do when they looked into my eyes and didn't see the real me anymore as I told them “ I’m okay guys. I’m used to it. Go home, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Reluctantly, we would turn away from each other and walk away and I knew they knew the whispered “ Maybe ” came uttering from my mouth causing unshed tears to gather in our eyes. The sinister me was waiting to welcome me in its arms as soon as I walked in my home and trudged up the steps to the sanctuary of my room. My mental health was in shambles but I wasn't going to admit that to anyone, even myself. It wasn’t until I was alone in a hospital room where everything changed for me.
By Yvonaé Dessus2 years ago in Chapters
Time
I had two choices: Cry a bit longer and risk the whites of my eyes and puffiness around not having enough time to go back to normal, or push the feelings aside and try to focus on something else. The former would have made sense. I had about 20 minutes until my clients would arrive - 5 more minutes to cry, 5 minutes to fix my makeup and 10 minutes to put the mask back on, with its painted smile across it.
By Sabrina Rupolo2 years ago in Chapters
Heimgang . Runner-Up in Chapters Challenge.
Outside of my front door and across the valley there are three castles each on their own mountain top. I'm living in an old railroad station and the train still runs in front of my house. There is a small road that connects the two closest towns. They are a kilometer in either direction. I am allowed to run all the way to the end of the dirt road where there is a giant buckeye tree. The farmer piles his hay underneath it and when I climb the very top I can almost touch the lowest branches of the tree. There are wheat fields all around my house and I am just tall enough to look over the grass. I love plucking the green and unripe seeds out of the field. They taste sweet. I have a giant backyard and my favorite spot is in the top of the cherry tree that leans just over the fence.
By Adelheid West 2 years ago in Chapters
Into the waves
Saltwater swirled around my outstretched fingers, the chill of the October brine prickling at my ashen skin. The pallid grey-green sky and the eerily calm flow of the tides signaled that a storm was coming- i'd need to batten down the hatches.
By Christiane Winter2 years ago in Chapters
