satire
Music industry and celebrity satire presented by Beat.
7 Reasons why you should NOT start playing GUITAR
REASON 1. HARD TO LEARN It is very hard to learn, 6 strings, 21 frets, a hell ton of notes, sharps and flats. On top of that chords and the ultimate switching between the chords. It makes the tips of the fingers HURT really bad. The instrument is really annoying, gets out of tune all the time, the pick falls and disappears, or lands in the sound hole. Ohhhh GOD!
By Sweed Music5 years ago in Beat
An Incorrect Interpretation of Song Lyrics: ‘Ob-La-di, Ob-la-da’
In continuation of my incorrect interpretations of song lyrics, today I’d like to tackle "Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da" by The Beatles. This song may appear to be about the goings on of everyday life and the ideal of finding someone, falling in love and having babies. Of course, I’m here to tell you that it’s not about that at all. It’s actually an allegorical piece about a couple of practising Witches, with themes of misogyny and gender politics woven throughout.
By Rachel Lightfoot6 years ago in Beat
An Incorrect Interpretation of Song Lyrics
At first glance, this song may appear to be about a young man and his journey through early adulthood. The protagonist searching for a sense of belonging, persuing earthly pleasures from anyone willing, and perhaps as a consequence, mistaking sex for love.
By Rachel Lightfoot6 years ago in Beat
White Rappers That Make Your Friends Roll Their Eyes
If you really love hip-hop, there probably are a few guys who you really dig who your friends just can’t stand. And for whatever reason, there’s no bad rapping like white bad rapping. I'd hate to perpetuate the separation of the races here, and I'm usually actually fighting for unity because we are all one man and one species after all, but I couldn’t help but make this list because it’s just too damn funny and true: these are the white rappers who make your friends roll your eyes deep into the back of their head.
By Regular Person6 years ago in Beat
i GOT KiDS (How Drake Should Have Responded)
Barbados Gold hits you with another banger, “i GOT KiDS,” that has an addictive hook around a theme that is addressed and expressed brilliantly. This is the song that Drake should have come back with once Pusha T called him out with "The Story of Adidon."
By Barbados Gold8 years ago in Beat
The Worst Thing a Radio Host Can Do
The radio is a wonderful addition that nearly everyone has in the form of a small, black rectangle stuffed into their cars. Yes, we have moved onto streaming services and aux chords to blast personalized playlists from our smartphones, but radio has still persevered.
By Jen Angela8 years ago in Beat
Alien Vs. Freddie? The Horror Mashups You Never Knew You Needed!
Nope, not Freddy, it's Freddie — get away from her you silky voiced b**ch. Who in the realms of space ever thought to put Freddie Mercury in among the cast of the Alien franchise? I can see the connotation of Mercury and space, but that is where the link ends. However, internet wizard David Unger has used his magic to combine the music of Queen and the Alien Queen in one glorious video. Unger's channel offers some of the best cinematic mashups around, but for the meantime check out Freddie and the Xenomorph:
By Tom Chapman8 years ago in Beat
The Worst Song to Ever be Created
Sometimes, bad music happens to good bands. Elvis Presley infamously sang "Confidence" as part of a children's movie he filmed in the late 60s. Chuck Berry's song, "My Ding-A-Ling," was his only solo hit - and also happened to be a several minute long joke about his ding-a-ling. Even Paul Simon had a gaffe or two under his belt.
By Skunk Uzeki9 years ago in Beat
"Resist, Stand Up, Fight Back"
Like millions of other people across the country, the results of the 2016 Election hit me pretty hard. The thought of a thin-skinned, racist, xenophobic, demagogue being the leader of the free world was and still is absolutely terrifying.
By Xavier Gonzalez Jr.9 years ago in Beat
Most Awkward Album Covers
Everyone is told to never judge a book by its cover, for the contents inside might surprise you. That rule does not apply to awkward album art. More often than not the album with a gasp-inducing cover will produce gasp-inducing songs. From coming off insincere to just missing the mark completely, bad album artwork will never die and has become something of a fascination with music fans. Horizon lines? Forget those. Coherent theme? Yeah right. Wardrobe that makes you look like a normal human? You’re in the wrong business. After an extensive search and a lot of eye bleach, here is the final “cream of the crop”; please enjoy these awkward album covers.
By Adam Quinn9 years ago in Beat
Best Songs About Masturbation
Sex, drugs, and rock and roll is a motif that’s almost as old as rock and roll music itself. It’s a perceived lifestyle that is so prevalent in the industry that it’s almost a prerequisite to making a timeless song and charting a hit record. And so we’ve entered a sexy era of bands making rhythmic odes to the human condition and all that messy horniness that comes with it. And with all that horniness comes masturbation—and with all that masturbation eventually comes awesome music about masturbation. Just because they have all that backstage action doesn’t mean they don’t indulge too! It’s a vicious cycle really. But what can we do? We’re only human. We’re only horny wankers. While you’re pondering the deepness in that revelation, check out this list of bands that did indulge and wrote songs about masturbation to pass the time between sex, drugs, and rock and roll:
By Adam Quinn9 years ago in Beat
