addiction
The realities of addition; the truth about living under, above and beyond the influence of drugs and alcohol.
Do Drugs, Sex, or Pleasure Help us Find Meaning in Life?
I remember being told if I do drugs, I’ll become an addict, but I always thought only weak people became addicts. I didn’t like being told no, it made me feel obstinate. I needed to know the why behind the what. I needed to know about how hard addiction was to recover from, even for strong and disciplined people. I was one of those stubborn people who had no capacity to learn from the mistakes of others. Instead, I needed to try everything myself, I didn’t trust the opinion of anyone. I remember being told one thing was good and its counterpart was bad, but I wanted to know about the grey in-between. I wanted to know who called it good or bad, and why they did so. I needed the evidence and the statistics and the reasoning behind it. I don’t recall being taught the process of addiction or the reason it’s so hard to come back from. I don’t recall a discussion about how addicts are perceived by the rest of society or how the decisions I made now would start a lifelong battle with ongoing ramifications. Maybe I trusted the opinion of my classmates more than that of the intimidating offer, and they told me drugs were fun and felt good.
By Michael J. Heil5 years ago in Psyche
Settling Accounts
SETTLING ACCOUNTS I sat in the corner booth of Efferding’s Diner where the waitress filled my oversized coffee mug. “You gonna need a box for that?” Of course, I was going to need a box. No one ever came out of Efferding’s eating everything. Unless they were a competitive eater or weighed 900 pounds.
By Aime Wichtendahl5 years ago in Psyche
Freedom
It was another excruciatingly hot day in Tijuana, but JR did not notice. He spent most of his days and nights inside, with the occasional trip to the market. As he lit his pipe, for the tenth time that day, all he could think about was how am I going to get out there of this? The darkness and depression that ruled his mind was full blown after nearly thirty five years of drug and alcohol abuse, and the suicidal thoughts kept creeping in. It shouldn’t be too hard to find a way to die, after all he had spent the last twelve years living in “The most dangerous place on Earth”, as he commonly referred to it. Is today going to be the day, the day I end it all?, he thought to himself. Taking a large drag the Meth quickly entered his system and all was right in the world for a fleeting minute. Temporary bliss...was just that, temporary and the despair moved over him like a thick fog. Alone...he was always alone, then looking over at the dirty coffee table his mind focused on one object.
By Christina Murphy5 years ago in Psyche
How Forming Habits Happens in the Brain
Both good and bad habits can produce dopamine dumps in our brain. Bad habits are often easier and take less work but can deliver similar or higher amounts of dopamine to our brain. When we act on these bad habits, we create long-term potentiation in which we are training our brains to be more responsive to these things. The more we do them, the more we strengthen the connections between these neurons. Over time the desire for these neurons to release the neurotransmitters that give us pleasure grows to becomes so strong that these tiny little turd-buckets rule our lives. When this happens even small triggers like smells or taste or memories can excite the synapse, making us feel an inert need to act on that bad habit. Our brains, neurons, and synapses will ultimately end up where we have trained them to end up, and after a while they will lead us there too.
By Michael J. Heil5 years ago in Psyche
Heroin
I was born in 1981 to a mother who took drugs and drank alcohol, it was this very reason I had disowned her from my life from age 16 until my early 20's that was until she had another child a baby boy called Casey. During this time I had been told my Grandfather was dying of lung cancer and my current partner had been caught cheating with a lap dancer. This left me distraught so I had made the decision to try and reconnect with my mother as I believed she was clean of drugs. I went to my mothers and we put the past behind us and started our relationship again, she managed to keep up the act she was clean that was until I caught her burning heroin in the early hours of the morning one day when she was in bed. We had an argument and that was it she was back to taking drugs in front of me again. I was loosing weight and crying constantly with the pain of my Grandfather dying and what my partner was doing with his lap dancer, I really loved this guy and worshipped the ground he walked on and the thought of him with someone else broke me, I have been abused my entire life but this pain was different it cut deep.
By Michelle King5 years ago in Psyche
