Thoughts on Jonathan Joss's June 1, 2025 Murder
And how it deeply affected my autistic black gay son
Jonathan Joss's recent murder has been a topic of deep emotional discussion in my household this week.
Joss, age 59, best known for his role as John Redcorn in King of the Hill, was an American actor of Native American descent who was murdered by a neighbor on June 1, 2025. Reports say the killing was prompted by homophobic slurs when Jonathan and his husband, Tristan Kern de Gonzales, returned to their recently burned-down home to collect mail.
Shielding his husband, Joss took a bullet, sadly dying from his wound.
The perpetrator, Sigfredo Ceja Alvarez, is on house arrest after posting bond. Joss's death is not only the epitome of what is wrong with humanity, unfortunately, it's the reality of our supposed-to-be evolved yet ever-still closed minded state of mankind.
And it hurts, knowing that kind of hate lurks on earth and gets to post bond, returning home like it's just another walk around the block.
But, Jonathan Joss won't get to walk around the block again, and his loving husband, Tristan, will never walk with him, arm in arm, enjoying a leisurely stroll.
Punished by death for being gay?
What kind of world do we really live in?
For sure, there is nothing leisurely about the statements above.
My son
Elijah is a 25-year-old autistic, black, gay man. To say he hasn't had his fair share of struggles is grossly underrated. He also faces daily pain with an undiagnosed condition we are still battling to find answers for, so I suppose for him, this tenfolds his daily tussles.
But he is beautiful, absolutely, beautiful, one of the kindest souls I've ever known, and I don't say this just because I am his mum. I say it because it is the absolute truth!
He feels all of his feelings deeply, and is a continued fighter for the underdog, the mistreated, and otherwise outcasted from societal "norms."
Bullied as a boy, sneered at as a young adult, but never has he, or will he ever, apologize for being who he is.
Like it or lump it, Elijah is Elijah.
And so the news of Jonathan Joss's death hit, my son spiraled into an emotional devolution. He was teary-eyed, distraught, disgusted, and deeply affected as if he knew the late actor. Although no connection to the man or his mate, Elijah experienced reactions, embodying a kin-like appeal.
Why?
Because this is what humanity looks like!
Genuine care and concern for another, known and unknown; this is how my adult child operates.
Empathy and sympathy are not just surface level, the flesh that everyone sees, they circulate in his veins. When another hurt soul bleeds, Elijah feels the cut, the gash, the inflicted injury as if he is the one carrying the pain. Compassion is the network of his being; it's an innate, not learned behavior.
So what of this behavior, the type that compels a person or persons to take another life?
HATE, HATE, HATE
The answer, but never an excuse, hate, it breeds and breathes from a place of fear. Fear is a common reaction to misunderstandings, circumstances, situations, ideologies, and people. Humans often find fear in the realms of misunderstandings, and when magnified, hate takes the upper hand, strongarming negative emotions into a state of dangerous, devastating, and deadly perceptions.
Why must we hate what we do not understand?
Wouldn't it be wiser to open eyes, ears, and hearts to education, but not bookwise smarts, the level of learning which can only be obtained when humanity embraces individual differences as art solely owned by the painter.
Celebrating, uplifting, honoring- Elijah is all about these.
He does not comprehend any alternative.
He never followed misleading guidance; love has led the way, leading his heart from his tender years.
Elijah's nightmare
Even I, Elijah's mum, didn't fully comprehend exactly how much Jonathan Joss's death affected him until the day after the horrific news hit our household. A nightmare didn't just scare him, it reopened a memory from his past, one that is still a source of angst for my son nearly a decade later.
In his dream, my son was back at our prior residence. He heard a commotion from outside, so he went to investigate. An older couple was reprimanding their small son by hanging him by the scruff of his neck from a barbed wire fence. Elijah intervened, telling them to get him down; it wasn't safe, he said.
Returning inside, a large crowd gathered at the back door. Standing on the porch was an enraged group of strangers shouting homophobic slurs. Hammers in hand, they broke in, going after my child to beat him and set him on fire.
Then the dream scene shifted to the emergency room, reliving a real scenario involving a "botched circumcision," as Elijah has always put it.
Noteworthy: my son was born almost two months premature and couldn't be circumcized at birth. I decided to let him choose whether or not to go through the procedure when he was older, and he did.
Just like reality, in the dream, my teen was rushed to the emergency room two days after his circumcision. He had a heavy bleed coming from his stitches that required immediate intervention. So much blood came from his wound that it seeped through his jeans, and his screams are ones I will never ever forget.
"I don't want to die," he kept screaming, and there was nothing I could do but console him to the best of a mother's ability.
All ended well, but the amount of blood on hospital bedding is a picture that still haunts my son.
To think my son was so deeply affected by Ross's death that his dream not only took him to threats of violence against him, but also back to revisiting a trauma so horrific to his well-being, left me wholeheartedly concerned for my child's mental health.
My son and I have an all-topic open policy, but he needed more. He reached out to his online community (specifically gaming moderators like himself) and received a call from his dear, long-time friend, Avery.
Hours of conversing, and Elijah was back in a better state of mind.
Hindsight
As previously stated, Elijah is a beautiful person, perhaps a next-level soul.
His reaction to Jonathan Joss's death might feel over the top to some, especially with an absence of personal connection, but maybe that's the point. What is happening to humanity's ability to personally connect to people, places, things, animals, and others outside of the self?
Autism lends a heavy hand in my son's sensory perception, yet it feels like a much-needed blessing, a gift, in our modern-day intolerance of what fits and what doesn't.
Being biracial, of one black parent, one white, still disturbs the restless ones, those ignorant of anything other than their own likeness. Elijah felt this as a tender one, grade school through high school, and even now, when our mixed family is in public places, enjoying life like all people should.
Coming out as gay in his teens, my son met opposition, but it wasn't surprising to him, someone already contending with autism and race. Adamant on remaining true to himself, my adult son often grapples with individuality and the cruel reality of an unprepared world.
Reparations, does this entail preparations for a world, an earth where all will walk safely, no matter color, no matter sexuality, no matter gender, no matter ability, no matter disability, no matter what difference one may have from the person standing next to them?
I don't have all the answers, or even the best distribution of higher knowledge, but what I will say without a doubt, the world needs more Elijah's, more people connected to the cause- humanity- because without more of this, our human race stands not one chance.
***
Thanks for reading!
About the Creator
Marilyn Glover
Poet, writer, & editor, writing to uplift humanity. A Spiritual person who practices Reiki and finds inspiration in nature.
Mother of four, grandmother of two, British American dual citizen living in the States
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Comments (7)
I really liked what you wrote. Can you also subscribe to my channel as I have subscribed to you?
I can identify with your son inasmuch as I am autistic & I wept all the while reading this. I had not heard of Jonathan's murder until now. Our son liked to refer to himself as "Halfrican-American". He was also one quarter Lakota & one quarter German, not to mention 100% gay. A month after his death he was posthumously awarded the Youth Denman Award for Evangelism at our Annual Conference meeting, an award our bishop subsequently told us he should not have received. (He was the bishop who led the recent schism & disaffiliations from our denomination over the issue of homosexuality--while the restrictive language was still in place!). We just returned home from this year's annual conference session where a pastor whose ordination had been previously revoked for being homosexual had his orders restored & the youth member who preached at the youth-led service on Saturday morning happened to be a sixteen year old lesbian who is active in her hometown in a group of high school thespians who give performances around the area lifting up voices of those marginalized. She is already at her tender young age one of the most intelligent & eloquent speakers I have ever heard. I do not know whether she is called into ministry but I can guarantee that whatever path she pursues, the world will be a much better place for it.
Bail and house arrest. I do not understand. Will we ever understand what goes through someone's mind, prompting such a horror. May all find peace.
There’s so much wrong about the state of humanity here that I don’t know where to start. How in this world Jonathan’s killer is enjoying house arrest and not sentenced for his crime is beyond me. That’s the results of thinking it’s the far far west and everyone can just kill at will for no reason. I am so sorry an empathic person like Elijah has.gone through all that. I understand well his reaction towards the death of Jonathan, someone he never met. That’s what is should be, being compassionate and empathetic towards other beings’ sufferings. But humanity as a whole is far from that level of society and human evolution. Elijah is one of few.
My heart breaks so much for Elijah and yes, the world definitely needs more people like him. I don't think his response was too much for Jonathan's death. I'm the kinda person that has ugly cried so badly for death's of animals that I've never had a connection with. And this is a fellow human being. As an empath, his reaction is natural. At least that's how I feel. I feel so sad he had to revisit his trauma in his dream. Is he doing better now? Also, that guy who shot Jonathan, how the actual hell is he under house arrest??? That's baffles me so much!
Elijah is a beautiful soul! It was so sad to hear about the death of Jonathan Joss, and it hurt so much to hear WHY it happened. It can be such a sad world at times, one which needs to improve and accept others.
Homophobia can certainly be deadly. Thanks for your sharing on a topic that's important, yet difficult to address, Marilyn.