Stop Working — You’re a Manager Now

ew work life.

Why the transition is so mind-bendingly painful

So you got the promotion. A career-defining moment that comes with it newfound power. But… what’s that quote? Ah yes: With great power comes great responsibility. And headaches. Lots and lots of headaches. I think Uncle Ben forgot to say that part out loud.

Let’s get specific on what makes this shift feel as tough as the nails that are seemingly being hammered inside your skull — because if you can understand who or what is causing the pain, that can make the experience a bit more… manageable (sorry not sorry).

#1: You’re dealing with office politics for the first time

As an individual contributor (IC), you were happily insulated in your own little world. You likely only had to focus on doing your job well, being a good teammate, and contributing to the goals of the wider team. I’m sure you’ve had moments where you needed to navigate some tricky internal company politics or culture, but that was nothing compared to constantly needing to play “the game”.

Your world is about to open up to the unfortunate and distressing reality that while the work is important, the workplace is just as important. Every decision suddenly has ripple effects across departments, teams, managers, and executives. You’ll need to constantly balance (often conflicting) business needs and priorities with individual skill sets and personalities, all in a way that somehow makes everyone happy, especially including those pesky stakeholders. (Spoiler: welcome to the losing proposition that is now your life.)

#2: You have no training for any of this

It’s not like going to management “school” is as straightforward as declaring a major in college. Sure, there are educational programs that help teach management theory. But how often does life happen according to those straightforward plans?

Not only that, but companies generally don’t provide even a modicum of training for managers. You’ll be thrown to the wolves, trying to figure out everything from scratch.

For instance, do you know…:

• How to run productive 1:1s?
• How to give insightful feedback?
• How to help your reports develop into better professionals?
• How to advocate for your team by fighting for the budgets and priorities that will lead to their continued engagement and retention?

Consider yourself lucky if you have an understanding, experienced manager taking you under their wing. More often, you’ll need to rely on researching and reading and learning by failing over and over again until you start to figure it out.

#3: You’re going to disappoint people

It doesn’t really matter how thoughtful or considerate or amazing you think you are. Somewhere down this new journey of yours, you are going to let someone down. And hard. I guarantee it.

• Maybe it’s that one person who taught you everything you know, and now you’ve had to make the difficult decision of passing them over for a promotion because you saw potential in someone else.
• Maybe it’s your own boss, as you fight the good fight for your team’s priorities, only to get denied — and then you have to deliver that bad news to the people relying on you.
• Maybe it’s yourself. We all go into management roles believing we’ll be the exception to the rule, only to realize there are so many exceptions, we become just another example ourselves.

The transition is an emotional rollercoaster that you could never have adequately braced for ahead of time. It’s one thing to read about impostor syndrome; it’s another to experience it in full force as you begin to question yourself at every turn.

If it makes you feel any better, it’s not only impostor syndrome — you’ll actually do it wrong plenty of the time, too!

Yay?

What not to do anymore

Alright, so we’ve covered some of the reasons why shifting from an individual contributor to a first-time manager is the career equivalent of being the first human to land on Mars. It’s insanely exciting and you feel like a bona fide trailblazer. But it’s also incredibly dangerous, lonely, and uncomfortable.

What do you do from here?

Well, the first thing is to be aware of what you should stop doing — basically all of the behaviors that were acceptable and necessary when you were an IC, but are now anathema to being a quality people leader.

#1: Stop believing you can keep doing the same work

We’ve all made this naive mistake. You get that new “Manager” title, but somehow still think you can continue diving deep into the tactical, ground-level work that your team is doing.

You can’t.

I’m serious here. Everyone says they understand this, but they don’t really get it, not at first. Pause here for a moment and let it sink in.

Your life as an individual contributor is over.

You have to shift your mindset towards enabling your team to do the work instead of doing it yourself. You may have been an amazing engineer, designer, or analyst. But now is the time to become a coach, facilitator, and people leader.

If you insist on staying in the trenches, you’ll quickly find yourself overwhelmed and with absolutely no time to focus on the bigger picture responsibilities that come with being a manager (i.e., your job). At best, your reports will resent you for micromanaging and not giving them autonomy. At worst, you’ll fail them by never providing the career development opportunities, team advocacy, and strategic vision leadership that they need from you.

Again, say it with me:

Your life as an individual contributor is over.

#2: Stop thinking success is about you

You may have always been an IC who took work seriously, never missed a deadline, and volunteered for every new initiative. Maybe you believed that was the key to moving up in the world. (And maybe that worked.)

As a manager, though, that individualistic style of working simply doesn’t translate. Your job is no longer about how impressive or talented or hard-working you are personally. It’s about cultivating those traits in your team and enabling them to be their best selves, both individually and collectively.

Going forward, your contributions need to happen through other people, rather than you being the one delivering results yourself.

#3: Stop solving every problem yourself

Your years of training and instinct as an individual contributor make you want to dive in headfirst every time a problem or challenge comes across your desk (or Slack channel or video call or email). You know how to build things rapidly, you know all the pitfalls and shortcuts, and you get an adrenaline rush from coming up with clever solutions.

Resist this urge at all costs.

You may think you’re being helpful and efficient by solving every single issue yourself. But you’re actually being incredibly detrimental to your team’s growth and development. They’ll:

• start over-relying on you
• stop stretching their own critical thinking abilities
• lose their sense of accountability and ownership
• lose faith in their own skills and autonomy

Don’t let any of that happen.

When issues arise, force yourself to ask questions rather than provide answers. Push your team to come up with their own solutions and proposals. Guide them through the process of investigating root causes, considering different approaches, and outlining potential implications. As much as it may pain you, do not reflexively jump in with “here’s how we’re going to solve this.”

You are now the coach on the sidelines providing perspective and wisdom, not the star player.

What to start doing

Enough about all the things you need to stop doing. Let’s provide some more positive, constructive advice on the types of behaviors you must start embracing as a new manager.

#1: Start being overly transparent and building trust

One of the most vital steps towards being a successful manager is building and maintaining trust. Without that foundation, everything quickly crumbles — decision-making becomes opaque, people inevitably begin to feel misled, and toxicity can spread like a virus throughout the whole team dynamic.

The antidote is to make a staunch commitment to being as transparent as possible in every situation. Constantly outline the context around choices being made, the rationale that went into the ultimate decisions, and any lingering uncertainties or risks that still remain. For example:

• If you had to sacrifice one priority for another based on directions from your leadership, make that clear.
• If you weren’t able to secure more headcount or budget for the team, explain what happened.
• If you continue deferring an issue your team cares about, be upfront as to why.

Remember: people can’t connect all the dots themselves — they lack the more complete context you will be granted (and they can’t read your mind).

Transparency and trust will give your reports the information and psychological safety they need to do their best work.

#2: Start getting out of your comfort zone

As an individual contributor, you were likely able to double down on the skills and tasks that played to your natural strengths and inclinations. If you were an introvert, you could put your head down and focus more on solo work. If you were an extrovert, you gravitated towards roles allowing you to interact with other humans. If you enjoyed coding, you coded. If you preferred visual design, you got to design all day.

Those days are gone now that you’re a manager. You now have to stretch yourself across many different responsibilities and disciplines.

• Maybe you’ll need to put on a public speaking hat to help evangelize your team’s work and raise their profile.
• Maybe you’ll be expected to jump into negotiations for contracts, budgets, or headcount.
• Maybe you’ll have to become a data storytelling pro to get buy-in for your roadmap and vision.

You’ll have to find ways to build up new muscle memories and coping mechanisms for all of the uncomfortable situations that managing throws your way.

Give yourself plentiful opportunities to evolve into a well-rounded leader capable of creating focus and delivering outcomes through others.

#3: Start being an advocate and champion

You have to start proactively sticking up for your people and fighting to ensure they have all the resources, support, air cover, and opportunities they need from the wider organization. You must make it an unwavering commitment to go to battle for your team’s priorities, career development, and overall well-being.

This means:

• having difficult conversations with your own manager and cross-functionally when your team’s workload becomes unmanageable or their output is being blocked by counterproductive dependencies.
• pushing for promotions even when the timing or budget isn’t ideal.
• bringing hard truths to light about things the organization needs to improve for the sake of employee engagement and retention.

In other words, it means sticking your neck out repeatedly on behalf of the people who are counting on you as their leader. It requires an entirely different mental shift towards prioritizing advocacy over individual achievements.

Fight for your team, so they have the space and motivation to deliver.

Wrapping it up

The leap from an individual contributor role to a first-time manager may be one of the most difficult career transitions you’ll experience. After spending years honing your specialist skills and focusing on your personal outputs, you now have to shift gears completely. Instead of doing the work yourself, your job becomes enabling a team of others to achieve success through your guidance, support, and leadership.

It’s a transition filled with confusion, self-doubt, and constant battles against your former instincts. What made you so successful before can often be the very thing holding you back from thriving in your new role. You have to evolve into an entirely different kind of professional — where your impact is generated through others’ hands rather than your own.

It won’t be easy by any stretch. But if you can resist the temptations to keep operating like an IC, and instead get out of your comfort zone, build trust, and advocate for your team, you’ll be well on your way.

So stop working already. You’re a manager now.