this mind of mine

this mind of mine

knows no peace.

it paces the floors of my skull

like a prisoner without a sentence,

scratching tally marks

into the walls of each passing hour.

thoughts come uninvited -

loud, insistent,

crashing into each other

like tidal waves

dragging pieces of me out to sea

until it’s too late to tell

where i end and where the

mental disorders began.

am i the voice or the echo?

am i the storm or the shore?

some days, i feel like a haunted house

wearing a smile for curtains

with broken windows

and too many locked doors.

the combo between having

schizoaffective disorder and

generalized anxiety disorder

is like trying to walk a tightrope

while the ground is shaking

and someone’s yelling in your ear—

and sometimes that someone

is you.

my mind splits the sky in two:

one half lightning,

the other just fog.

i don’t know whether to run

or freeze,

to scream

or stay silent

because they all feel dangerous.

i question every face in the mirror,

every whisper in a quiet room.

i flinch at the softness

of my own thoughts

because I’ve learned

they can turn sharp without warning.

but even so—

i carry on,

building shelter from fragments,

piecing together sanity

in the eye of the storm.

this mind of mine

knows no peace.

but it knows how to survive

in a world

that doesn’t always

make space

for minds like mine.