Katie’s Smile

You were my ex fiancé’s other ex fiancé and I know you never liked me

I’ve stalked your page a couple times when I missed her but despite me

You had such a brightness to your smile, even my somberness was blinded

I was never mad that you were hers

Because you passed that on to her and that’s what matters

After her, you learned yourself and found your heart in Sydnee

I know all of this through word and posts but I was joyous for you regarding

That you found happiness in the aftermath

You got engaged again, started your own business’s and

As life finally fell in place for you

and you found your path

Tires screeched, panic peaked

All your loved ones were left weak as

You were taken from your dream

I cried

I did

I didnt deserve to, but you didn’t deserve this

My heart breaks for your people

My heart shatters for our Lauren

Nothing makes sense

Why are the youthful so needed in heaven?

What could positive people possibly bring to his hands?

Isn’t he supposed to give it?

Send it to them?

What a stupid decision.

There’s no way he’s real because you can’t

Be almighty if you don’t save the mighty

You can’t be forgiving if you there’s not a thing to forgive

She was no sinner, yet you had another die for “our sins”

I will never wrap my head around it

I will never worship a god they fear

Especially if he’s this cold

I’d rather burn.. if the flames are even real

But

It’s not even my grief to hold

Empathy is all I have

But I can’t help but feel like death follows

Me and my people

Past or present

It’s not something I can comprehend

Is it just part of growing up?

I’m 27 but all I see is loss and love

But the kind of love you see at funerals

The tears filled with memories of what was

The flowers supposed to be sympathetic but so damn ugly on top of the casket

The pitiful moments of laughter when their blood & water share funny moments that can never happen again

And the silent cries..

Your ears will never forget

Katie, I’m sorry this love came so soon

Katie, you should be at the alter not the tomb

I’ll care for Lauren for you

Because even though she is no longer ours and you hated me

We still shared a similar love once

And because of that I know you’d want her to have a shoulder to cry on,

even one’s of a foe

I still wish you to rest easy though, just as you lived life in the end

I hope you know your smile reached more than just your family and friends