Humor logo

Deadlines Aren't To Be Trifled With

Don't Embarrass Yourself (like I just did)

By Lightning Bolt ⚡Published 5 days ago Updated a day ago 4 min read
Top Story - January 2026
Yes, she IS being held hostage by giraffes. 🙄 You'll understand why later.

10:13 pm 1/28/26 - two hours until the Deadline 🕛

NOTICE WHEN WRITING FOR A VOCAL CHALLENGE

Do not start late

Or your poem won't be great

An idea popping into your head two hours before midnight on the Day Of is probably doomed to fail

(_doomed or entombed or something that rhymes with mushroom_)

Editing takes time

Especially goodly rhymes!

And buttering a barely baked notion at the last minute without any structured guidance can be a travail

It's better to bail.

You can't possibly achieve your best work as a writer if you don't start your poetry well before the deadline time!

Therefore: this will not be a completely coherent announcement

I have no clue where I'm going with this

<wait-- I need to piss>

⚡___↯

WARNING

Starting late is a gamble

You might even ramble

"So don't delay!"

As they always say

⚡___↯

10:15 pm 1/28/26 - an hour and forty-five minutes until the Deadline 🕒

Gotta pause....

Is this a lost cause?

~~Did anyone get the license plate number of that penguin?🐧~~

⚡___↯

10:45 pm 1/28/26 - an hour and fifteen minutes before the Deadline 🕘

WARNING

When facing down a deadline you must account for unexpected interruptions like your partner coming home to tell you he/she needs you to locate the Tupperware bowl thingie you used because there should be two in the kitchen but he/she can only find one and they are his/her mama's and she wants them back and you know you used it yesterday to make your own homemade version of a KFC potato bowl with mashed potatoes, gravy, and corn but you can't find it and you keep looking and you can't find it because there is a lot of clutter in your life because you are an artist and you don't have time for menial shit like cleaning and you keep saying "It's gotta be here somewhere" because you never go anywhere but you really don't remember what you did with it because yesterday was your birthday when you were totally focused on other things so you keep looking and looking and looking, going to the kitchen repeatedly and your bedroom and looking in the refrigerator and under your bed and under your chair and looking in closets and asking your cats if they know where it is and they just look at you like you're stupid so you really really look in your den where you write because that's where you think it's most likely to be but it's just nowhere nowhere nowhere to be found but it's gotta be somewhere and finally you start systematically going through your den when finally you find it beneath the robe you took off yesterday because it was covered with cat hairs that were getting on your face, feeling like cobwebs mixed with cotton candy and were driving you absolutely CRAZY! <≧check this for editing spellingmisstakes if'n there are time before the dead line⇚ ☢>

EVERY WRITER NEEDS TO BE FULLY PREPARED FOR SITUATIONS EXACTLY LIKE THIS👆WHEN WRITING LAST MINUTE FOR AN RAPIDLY APPROACHING DEADLINE

⚡___↯

BUT BE REASSURED

If you are feeling stressed

or under duress

There is one thing you can do

Generating original A.I. pictures for your stories is quick and easy and it's your story's glue!!!

Here.

Let me show you.

11:11 pm 1/28/26 - roughly fifty minutes before the Deadline

No. That's wrong. Why is he so pale?

All I said is: he should look sweeter!
Wrong. I didn't ask for flowers. Why are there flowers floating near the ceiling?

That's odd.
Both heads are cute but still... I only asked A.I. for one.
Huh?

I think my A.I. is on acid.

I did not ask for a clown typing on a computer.

I did not ask for a vampire typing on a computer.
I did not ask for a black pirate using a computer!
I didn't ask for a gender-neutral witch.... and gee thanks, A.I, because now I'm craving skittles.

I did not ask for a penguin using a computer.
She looks upset.

Horse Man again, A.I.? Seriously? That's the third one this week. <sigh>
His hands are fucked up. And the keyboard is too hot.

Too cold.🥶 And doesn't honey congeal at sub-zero temperatures?

All I have been trying to do this whole time is create a picture of a man typing really fast because he's running out of time! Where are all these penguins coming from? I've never once asked for penguins!

I didn't ask for a snowman sitting at a desk made of ice either!
Oh HELL to the FUCK NO! I would never ask for that kind of ICE! Melt them! Get them off our streets!

"HOUSTON, I think we have encountered a problem! This A.I appears to be penguin-infested!"
I DID NOT ASK FOR OPRAH WINFREY USING A COMPUTER!

WTF, A.I.!!! I thought the 'I' was for Intelligence, not Ignoramus!

😠

This is exhausting.

I need a break

for my visual center's sake

I generated this one just for me. I feel better now.
Is he trapped INSIDE a computer?!?!😱

😱

He's not fooling anyone with that disguise!

Penguins only conspire like this in the southern hemisphere!

Is that why I feel a sinking sensation iced with fear?

😱

😱

MY EX AT A COMPUTER????!!!!!! 😱 How did A.I. get HIS picture!?!?!? 😱

⚡⚡😱😱😱😱⚡⚡

⚡___↯

11:44 pm 1/28/26 - roughly fifteen minutes before the Deadline

WARNING

Generating original A.I. pictures for your stories is labor-intensive, often terrifying, and therefore really really really HARD

Don't play that as your last card

Or your cover photo will end up being giraffes watching a whore

And they'll be no time left to generate more!

Wait...

This may be a fight!

But I know I can get this right!!!

Why is this always such a chore?

....just a couple more....

⚡___↯

That's the same witch from before in disguise. A.I. ain't fooling me!

Clearly, SHE's got issues.
What's all that crazy shit in the air?!? I didn't ask for an author with telekinesis!!!

Typing, not flying. (But save this pic for another poem.😍)

Typing on a computer, not sitting on a scooter! 🙄
Good Lord! He's supposed to be TYPING on a COMPUTER, not WIPING off PEWTER!!!

Batman and Thor wrestling for control of a computer? Well, we know who the penguins are NOT rooting for.
This is not my fault.

Great. 😐 First it assaults that guy using my schtick and now the damn computer is trying to escape.

What the FUCK?!?!? 😱

HURRY UP! ~~

~~I'm TRYING!!!!

NO NO NO! I did NOT NOT NOT ask for LIZARDS AND GODDAMN BUTTERFLIES!!
And now...MONKEYS?!?!? Are you kidding me?

A miniature Ronald Reagan on a computer eating ice cream. 🙄 It's official: A.I. makes less sense than I do. And that's a really low bar.

Okay already. I give up!

Well that went well

Can you tell?

<very heavy sigh>

I'd rather do the giraffes than one of the pictures with penguins so I suppose that's the cover pic that's gotta get me by

See blue cry

⚡💙⚡

Ó╭╮Ò

⚡___↯

OMG, this poem ain't it!

But I gotta submit!

SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!!!!!!!!!

_______________Bolt

11:59 pm - one minute until midnight

I'm shocked!!

OH MY ELECTRICAL GOD IN HEAVEN!!!!!

I THOUGHT THE DEADLINE WAS MIDNIGHT!!!!

I'M ONE MINUTE TOO LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let that be a lesson to me.

Well, since I missed that👆, I'll just bump this up to 600 words and publish it in the Humor Community, where I'm still a god.

⚡😁👍

🎼🎵 A B C D E F G

H I J K LMNOP

Q R S

T U V

W X Y and Z!

Now I've writ my ABCs, tell me what you think of me...

since I screwed this whole damn thing up

₿UT⭛⭛⭛⭛

even though I didn't enter the fucking challenge on time as planned (where I would have clearly clinched that $200 with this poetic masterpiece), at least I made you🫵 laugh!

Didn't I?

You're welcome.

Unfortunately, this story was true. My name wasn't changed to protect the penguins.🐧

_______________Bolt ⚡⚡

artIrony

About the Creator

Lightning Bolt ⚡

Bolt aka Bill, a bizarre bisexual bipolar epileptic⚡🧠⚡ Taco Bell Futurist 🌮🔔

Memes! Madness! LSD! Hell🔥!😈 Creepy Crazy ghosts!

🩸Thrash!!🩸 SCREAM!!! 😱 Demons & Phobias & Prophets, oh my!

Poetry ~ Challenge ~ Winners!

I am shock therapy. ⚡😁👍

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  1. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

Add your insights

Comments (19)

Sign in to comment
  • Caitlin Charltona day ago

    💖Whatever lip tint she’s wearing, I want one. But by the sound of the title, the word on her forehead, and the humility of the subtitle, I think you’ve got all our attention. Regarding your caption, I didn’t even realize there was a giraffe. 💖The Tricolon of "doomed, entombed, and mushroom" gives me that palpable feeling of the walls closing in. It makes the air feel thin because there simply isn't much room. I loved the juxtaposition between your warning about the time it takes to edit and the fact that you achieved such "goodly rhyme" despite the solicitude of the process. It makes the advice seem like something we shouldn’t need, but probably do. Yet still, being entombed might still make us doomed. 💖The penguin license plate was genius. Even with the struggle of the ramble, you still gave a purpose to the struggle. That block of Asyndeton, that wall of text involving the KFC potato bowl, was golden. The lack of punctuation made me feel frantic. That line about not having time for menial shit because you’re an artist is me to a T; it is all of us, and I love you for this.

  • Monique Hardta day ago

    Look, this was a very funny exploration through AI generated images. But I CANNOT UNDERSTAND how ANYONE, as an author, can feel okay and good about themselves using AI generated images for their cover. As authors, we are artists, too. How, as an artist, can you feel okay using AI images instead of free to use unsplash images that credit a real person, or hiring someone to draw an image for you? I'm sure you would be furious if somebody won a competition with a piece written by AI, so why are you okay winning a competition and getting top story using an AI image?

  • Julie Lacksonen2 days ago

    Too funny!! Love all the crazy pictures. Isn't AI fun?? 💜

  • Imola Tóth2 days ago

    Awww, but I often end up submitting my story just hours before the deadline 😅 ‍😅 ‍I often get the finalized idea the day before or so. Writing the story is easy and quick, editing it is the pain in the ass. Regardless, it worked sometimes. 😊

  • Aarsh Malik3 days ago

    I’ve never related to a last-minute deadline meltdown more. The giraffes, penguins, and mini-Reagans are now permanent in my brain. 🦒🐧🍦

  • Lana V Lynx3 days ago

    This was hilarious, Bill! Loved the list of all the absolutely crucial things that come in the procrastinator’s way at the most inopportune time and the memes were very funny.

  • Cadma4 days ago

    Congrats on top story and of course i can see why

  • The Dani Writer4 days ago

    Super-original Bill! And a quality 'hoot and holler.' So glad you wrote and shared it. 😊

  • Erica Roberts 4 days ago

    This was a fun ride! Congratulations on getting Top Stories! 🎉

  • Mark Graham4 days ago

    Oh, well you did make me laugh with this one. Better luck with your next challenge using AI or NOT.

  • Mother Combs4 days ago

    LoL, this is great, Bill. Some AI image generators are better than others, though. The lesser ones are always good for a laugh.

  • John Scipio4 days ago

    Funny stuff...🤣 😂

  • Sid Aaron Hirji4 days ago

    I procrastinate too much too-always love your humor

  • FUNNY. LOVE the images > >. Magical ❤️❤️ ❤️❤️ ❤️❤️ ❤️❤️

  • Cristal S.4 days ago

    Hahaha, I loved it! I have to say, the Tupperware rant is painfully relatable! It’s like… it has to happen! And the damn thing apparently needs to be found right nowww! It absolutely cannot wait another 15 minutes!

  • I could almost feel the painful pressure and the countdown ... and one minute late!

  • Sandy Gillman4 days ago

    This is exactly how my brain works under pressure. This is painfully, hilariously accurate!

  • Sam Spinelli5 days ago

    Haha this is rad. I appreciate the wit throughout, and find the whole thing way too relatable. Rare occasion where I liked a piece of writing before even reading it— but your title had me just from the meta humor. after reading in full, the poetry did not disappoint. Light hearted but also clear minded and accurate commentary on writing against the deadline. Great job Bill this was awesome. Also, though I’m personally opposed to ai art of any form, I got a kick out of your use of it here, the captions were great and definitely worked to emphasize the theme of your writing

Find us on social media

Miscellaneous links

  • Explore
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Support

© 2026 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.