A Changing Mind

A changing mind is what I have, influenced by what I give

From different philosophies to different hives, it’s part of the media I consume, It’s based on how I live

Some thoughts change and bend, as they are more elastic

Learning that my gray matter is subject to change, my brain is neuroplastic

Seeing the changes occur at a rate that is more swift. Planning to change is tiresome, yet the effort is less than a finger to lift.

Knowing that I can change, is knowledge that’s a gift.

Practicing doesn’t have to be a huge monumental change, let me not be remiss.

I have to tell myself to “keep it simple stupid.” Most plans you just have to K.I.S.S.

It’s not fancy nor extravagant. Nothing about changing has to be formal.

All it takes is interest with compound persistence; adjusting a new normal.

Initially when you start out you will feel tired and worn.

As you continue forward with your process, you learn that it’s a tiring process of being reborn.

That’s the cost of new habits, of shifting previous behavior.

It feels tiresome. It is tiresome. I preach of this what I practice; I’m a sinner not a savior.

I can teach myself to enjoy that which is difficult.

If I teach myself what I enjoy, I will not suffer from a mission’s halt.

For remaining in false paradise is not lavious luxury.

The False Garden drains all, a false temptress, she lusts for me.

As calming and serene the nursery is, I’ll remain sick, detained, and immature if I stay.

“Out,” the open fields of vast terrain call for me. Under the sunlight of day and the stars of night will I play.

The child’s room of infantile infancy will always be there.

A safe haven of comforting rest providing nurturing care.

For if I do not progress, I will begin to regress.

Yet parts of our nature mature regardless. I too have remained in the nursery for too long, I must confess.

Changing my mind by filtering what goes into its container.

Learning how to step out and break apart from the echo chamber.

By using my power I can change my environment, which is external.

By doing so I can change my neural networks, which are internal, from being infernal.

Hell is a gift of eternal punishment, which can be self-given.

Heaven is a gift of eternal peace, derived from the piece you want to live in.

Accepting these gifts as they are is what I have to learn.

Accepting the gifts that I have, that I lack, is up to me to discern.

By crawling out, by leaving, by escaping the cradle.

I develop, construct, erect and build the legs, no, the pillars to my table.

Now, I can bring forth my gifts upon which value I have built and fortified.

As I continue to change seeing the new levels and tiers won’t leave me horrified

And wondering if there’s ever a top ceiling for me to reach

Where I can finally stop and breathe, cause I know the main antagonist is myself, I’m my own proverbial leech

Understanding that I’m more than deserving

Practicing self-love and care is not self-serving

But recognizing that I should treat myself better than I have been before

Because the misery I’ve dealt myself sure has left me sore

Yet as I continue to rise and with myself settle the score

I realize the power within my own mind, let alone my hands, to allow my potential set soar

I was told by an older gentleman that not caring for discriminators is where I need to begin

“Don’t fly down low with the sparrows. You’re an eagle. You’re up high on the winds.”

I’ve gone through phases and bouts where I’ve pitied people, whom against me they would discriminate

I realized that the only reason why they would turn their attention to me is because they were filled with self-loathing and self-hate

They would want a reaction, attention, something from somebody that could tell them what they’ve done is worthy enough to validate

Now I focus my energy and my efforts elsewhere. I turned myself away since I realized that I love having the potential and power to create.

Learning to take pride in the passions I performed as I saw out of the corner of my eyes that the same people who would pester me, searched out for newer victims, as they wanted their pain to self-replicate.

As a hero goes down its journey, the path is filled with light and shadow overcast

The journey is long, and treacherous, numerous critical points a hero must past

Learning that a shortcut, may be a enjoyable, but its length will never last

Since it seems to link you back around to the same spot where you got off of on the original path

Yet, when it all comes together you can start to see and predict where you want to go, it’s not linear nor exact, but you can start to do the math

I can start to see where to go

I can understand the path I want to follow

I begin to learn when to lead

I’m more capable of addressing and taking care of my needs

It’s important to reflect, and sometimes even to fully express how you felt about who you were

It’s like you’re constantly holding hands with yourself, a continuous rope and who’s leading is who you are

Sure, sometimes we’ll look back and stumble

Sometimes we’ll fumble

Sometimes we might even begin to fumble

In which case we take the whole line down with us

Keep going, pickup yourself up, and brush and wipe away the dust

If there was one lesson about changing that I should leave myself with, how should I put it with brevity?

Continue to live your life, even with your current regrets. Take responsibility for who you are, and do so with integrity.