healing
How to heal fully and properly.
Cycles
It’s been a while since the last blog post I've written....A lot of things have happened in my life in the last 9 months and to try and round them all up sounds a bit mad in and of itself so I think I’m just going to leave the details out and sum things up thematically over the next few weeks/posts.
By Ayaan Abdullahi6 years ago in Motivation
I Found My Voice Again
My name is Chontell Lucas. 5 years ago I was involved in a life altering accident. Before the accident I was a singer, teacher, and advocate for Sarcoidosis. My mother passed away from Sarcoidosis in the year of 2012. I was completely devestated. I had 2 choices to live or to die with depression. I chose to live. My life was finally purpose driven. I founded and organization in honor of my mother and Sarcoidosis Advocacy. Sparkle Nation, LLC. derived from pain that I turned into purpose! This organization stands for shining your life in the face of adversity. When people see your light, it’s definitely contagious. Life was good, my music career was taking off tremendously after the release of my first single. My entire life was music. I believe I came singing out of the womb. The origin of my name means “to sing.” Well, this accident didn’t take my life, but it definitely tried to deminish all hope. This accident or incident changed the trajectory of my life. I suffered 10 broken ribs, my lungs collapsed, tracheotomy, 2 fractures in my neck, concussion, and I was on life support with a minimum chance of survival. The doctors let my family know that if I lived, I would never speak again, or sing. God proved them wrong. I’m alive today, and I’m speaking. Although the instruments that were used to save my life has altered my vocal chords. I’m still able to speak, but very low. Here’s what no one knows. I literally thought my life was over before I started therapy. I didn’t know what I would do with myself, because I didn’t think God could really use me beyond my singing abilities. Boy, He he proved me wrong. Singing was just the vehicle used for a short while to lead me to my destiny. The physical pain was excruciating, but the emotional pain was just as intense. My hope was diminishing and I was holding on on with my faith for dear life. My mom is gone, now the very instrument that I use to bring me peace, and to give God glory is gone. What is there left to do? Why am I here? My therapist told me in my first session, “You are more than your singing ability.” That phrase changed the trajectory of my life. I began to act like I was more, thus producing more. Today, I have 13 Empowerment Pageant Franchises for girls, A mentor program, and a plus size online boutique. I’m also the former Ms. South Carolina Plus America 2016. I firmly believe that life is more than breathing, it’s the motion of growth, learning, and truly becoming what you were created for. I’ve won several awards on my pageant journey: The Miss Community Service Award, The Director’s Award, People’s Choice Award, Ms. Congeniality Award, and Talent Award. I had the opportunity to travel to Dallas, Texas to participate in the Miss Plus America Pageant System, where I received The Smile Award for Positive Social Media Influence and Best Overall Interview Score. In addition I was crowned Ms. Yellow Jessamine Plus America 2017. During this particular reign, I received several awards and placed 4th in the National Plus America Pageant System.
By Chontell Lucas6 years ago in Motivation
Life Without Suffering Isn’t a Good Thing
Pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there is no way of life.” -Angelina Jolie The young boy opened his hands for the doctor, revealing the burns his mother insisted were a result of picking up hot coals. Shaking his head, the doctor thought, “There’s no way any human would voluntarily hold a burning coal long enough to give third-degree burns like this.” The black, oozing sores had to be a result of child abuse, but the woman shakes her head, “No, we call him Sin Dolor- the painless one.”
By Anna klawitter6 years ago in Motivation
Growth
This was taken about 5 years ago, and how much I have changed physically and mentally!! I didn’t even know how much until I realised that I started to censor myself in order to avoid conflict or just avoid looking like an idiot- I never use to care about stuff like that.
By Aj6 years ago in Motivation
Fear
Fear is front and center during these times of uncertainty as we go through a pandemic and social change. We don’t know what’s coming next and if we will be successful or not. The pandemic and dealing with social distance made me reflect and come to terms that fear has been controlling parts of my life and has been an enemy of mine for far too long. One of the most important parts of my life is having friends and loved ones which I am blessed with but there is something missing in my life. The part that I’ve been missing for quite some time is having that special someone in my life. The fear of being vulnerable and not being accepted or being worthy has led me to make quite a few mistakes during my life. I do recall when I was younger, I went out with an attractive co-worker her name was Paquita such a sweet and beautiful smile. We went out a couple of times and this one time we just kissed with so much passion in Grand Central Station that the cops came by eventually since our kissing was a bit steamy for the commuters. Afterwards I was thinking what is next how long will this relationship last and do I see myself with her for the long haul? I was overanalyzing out of fear and not just enjoying the moment. The possible relationship didn’t last since my fear of being vulnerable and what comes next put a stop to what could have been something beautiful. Many years later thanks to Facebook I see that she is happily married living in Japan while I am single and letting fear control me. There was another time back in college there was a girl I do remember her name was Lynesse with those gorgeous dimples, but my friend was also interested in her so I stepped aside even though she was clearly interested in me. I was afraid of telling my friend that she liked me so that he could go for her instead. Fear hasn’t only paralyzed me in finding other half but has also put a damper in other things as well. I had some call backs after taking some headshots after graduating from college and wanted to take a chance in maybe doing commercials. Fear once again proved to the winner as I decided to not call back or just tell them I wasn’t able to do it. The train of opportunities is about to leave for good and I’ll be stuck on the platform forever one of these days. When I did have relationship fear once again came popping out as I was paying for everything whenever we were going out and wasn’t able to tell her that money was tight and that maybe we should split the bill from time to time. Fear has been driving a wedge in my life for far too long. I guess that is the reason why I don’t drive even though I have a driver’s license for fear of being in a crash. Fear has been the fertilizer which has prevented from growing even further. I can’t and won’t let fear drive me anymore it’s been far too long that I have given into my fears and have stagnated my growth. I’m glad to say that fear hasn’t controlled everything in my life, and I have been improving and growing. I at one point thought it was impossible to do a marathon and have done 4 marathons. When I was out of work at one time, I ventured into doing some extra work which I admit was afraid but did it anyway and it was rewarding. Steps have been taken along the way but there are more steps for me to take in order to grow more.
By Herbert Perez6 years ago in Motivation
Wake Up, It's 2020!
Somehow, we've already made it halfway through 2020. In six months, it'll be January 2021. Crazy, right? This year has been a pretty wild ride so far, I think we can all agree on that. If you're anything like me, you had a lot of plans for 2020. You went into this new year and this new decade with big hopes and dreams to make amazing things happen for yourself. But, as you know, that was very short lived. A few months in, we were hit with the unexpected.
By Mary Molluso6 years ago in Motivation
Controlling People
All my life since I was a kid,I’ve felt controlled. Whatever I thought of doing or wanted to do,fear had stopped me everytime. Like I was pushed around or kicked down,even when I had a chance at happiness when it was right in my face or in my reach. You try to do something right or try to help only to have dirt kicked in your face or spat on for even trying to do some kindness and good for others. And to feel forced to keep doing good for them knowing you’re just gonna get treated the same way and having to keep your head down or blind yourself to it....that was difficult and saddening. I was so used to hollering,screaming and name calling that sometimes I don’t know when someone is just talking to me peacefully. Or I worry if I get or do something,the hollering and screaming matches begin. Sometimes I hesitated to pick something up or make myself something to eat because I was afraid it would be a target for an argument. Let me not forget the sound of broken materials and seeing little pieces of them on the floor. The whole house would look like the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina or a tsunami and you’re always the one stuck to clean it up,which also became a problem if it wasn’t. Yeah,I know. It’s more brutal than you think it is. Try spending your childhood listening to people who don’t even love you at all calling you names you never thought you’d hear as a child,making a big deal about little pieces of garbage on the floor,or starting random arguments out of the blue just to get a rise out of it. And anything you did right,always wrong. It was always a problem,no matter what. You deal with it for so long that it’s too close for comfort. Hell is a place you call home. When you’re young,you have no choice but to come home to it. Worse about it is you can’t say anything. It’ll make it worse. Especially upon you. Oh,the pressures of all the abuse. Emotionally, physically, mentally and verbally. Almost makes you believe this Is the life you were meant for. To be stuck in this abuse cycle for the rest of your life. No hope for freedom,peace, or happiness. Just stuck being screamed at or worried for it until the life is done for. Walking on eggshells being hard to do. Tears and heartache lay in and on your beds and pillows every night. Losing sleep because of worry and fear. Can’t even sit down for a second without that becoming drama either. You dream everyday of filling the empty space in your heart with peace and happiness,the world being rainbows and butterflies when it isn’t. Seeing some families happy and smiling,enjoying their time out and about whether it’s out to eat, at a park or at an amusement park. And you look at what you go through right now thinking “why can’t I have a life like that?” Or “how come we can’t go out in public without worrying about hollering and screaming everyday?”. To have the opposite happen is an impossibility for yoy because you've dealt with it your whole life!! Being a little older now,I know that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life tolerating that kind of nonsense anymore and I don’t feel like I have to. Family member,friend,girlfriend,boyfriend,stranger. What time do I or should I have for that anymore when I can just easily walk away from it and not look back at it at all? Heck, why should I waste anytime on what I don’t have to deal with or tolerate? I don’t have to stay in the bull crap people want to pull. I don’t have to pull it along anywhere I go. I’m not going to let it chain me up or make me feel chained up. I’m not going to let it dwell on me or take over me and my life any longer. You can only take so much until you have enough and a person can and will do to you what you allow them to. But,no more. It’s my turn to call the shots now. It’s my turn to run the show. It’s my turn to say what I need to say. It’s my turn to feel free for once.
By Shania Thompson6 years ago in Motivation
Letter to my younger self...
Dear 23 year-old me, In ten years time, you won't recognize yourself or the world for reasons that are both good and bad. Reality will shift on a dime one day and everything in your world will be unstable. There are so many lessons I've had to learn the hard way. Here's some of the things I wish I wasn't so hard headed about.
By Diane Nivens6 years ago in Motivation
