healing
How to heal fully and properly.
How To Heal
He had a power over me that kept me paralyzed at his side. 18 years I had put in with this man. The man I so thought would be my forever. He was mentally ill. Narcissistic Bipolar with Schitso-effective tendencies. I couldn't imagine life without him. I couldn't imagine not loving him with every fiber of my being regardless of how much he hurt me and broke my heart. No matter what, I took him back and accepted his lies. I didn't know then that I had trained him to know that I would accept his behaviors but I had by allowing it EVERY SINGLE TIME! Until the day I met the man that would later give me the most priceless life altering gift. He taught me how to heal and led me to the most beautiful relationship with my creator. It's funny now looking back because I thought of my self as a spiritual being and I thought I had a good relationship with God. In some sense I was right. I was spiritual and I did have a relationship with God I guess the way most aspiring good humans did. I remember praying one day that I would be the one to wake this already admirable new human in my life up. See he was the son of the preacher man and he lived by the power of prayer but was starting to question things in his faith. He came into my life at a very painful time for me. I couldn't remember the last time I felt the sensation of being happy or even hell, content. The connection was raw and very very real. We both felt it. It was undeniable. Like our soul's had known each other since the creation of time. We wouldn't stay together long at this time though. I went away for awhile. I was states away. We didn't talk for some time. I started having these visions of him. Visions he wasn't okay, visions of his light burning out. I had to get back to him. I had to see his face again. I called him and made arrangements to see him. I made my way to his state and we met face to face. It was the most amazing familiar energy. Right there in his presence was the only place I cared to be. We picked up like we had never been apart. I told him of my visions and asked him if he knew what was taking his light. He told me he did though he offered no explanation. It would be several more weeks before I would see him again. We made this crazy plan to go to Puerto Rico for a few weeks and things were aligning for this to actually take place. This man. This magnificent man and I have been on a beautiful journey since January, when we did actually go to Puerto Rico for two weeks to meditate. Since then we have traveled to Chicago and Atlanta among other places. This man and I have taught each other so much and continue to teach and grow with each other. The most beautiful thing is that he taught me how to heal. He taught me how to love myself unconditionally and he asked me questions that no one ever had. He asked me things like "What makes me happy, what inspires me, what am I passionate about." I didn't know the answers to these questions. No one had ever cared to ask me. These questions prompted me to look within and find the answers. The more I dug the more I was able to let go of my traumas and grow. I came to terms with the fact that the girl I thought I was I had never actually known. I peeled away at the layers of pain and decided who ever that girl was had passed away. I was okay with that because now I had the tools to become the person I was always meant to be. I was finally free to heal and become....well me. I want you to know that it doesn't have to be this way. You can heal. You can be happy. You don't have to hold on to the hurt. Your traumas don't have to define you. YOU CAN BE FREE! So I ask you now, on your side with meaning and emotion, What are you passionate about? What is it that truly makes your heart sing?
By Nevaeh Rhodes (Emily Murff)5 years ago in Motivation
I met my bully years later and this happened...
This blog is written not for sympathy but for awareness and acknowledgement of this issue that surrounds people everyday. My 10th grade was undoubtedly the most negative year for me. I got bullied in various situations and everyday, I would pray to god that "please not today". I never told my parents or anyone until now because in my society, nobody is supposed to be and shouldn't share personal experiences such as bullying, harassment, abuse, violence and much more. People know these things happen but they are so ignorant towards these issues and treat it like it's normal. Most people make these social issues generalized that others don't think it's bad to do and support things like that. I believe telling and sharing experiences can help other people with providing information, awareness, and bring reflection (basically a wake up call) to people that it's not right that these ordeal circumstances happened to you. Today, I have enough courage to tell everyone that these situations happened to me and I will not let anyone do that to me ever again.
By Katniss Kay5 years ago in Motivation
Ahead Of My Time
Have you ever felt like you were ahead of your time? Or like you just know things that most people aren’t aware of? Or like you kind of have the key to life? Or like you’re just different? Futuristic? And you can’t pinpoint it? And you really can’t explain it to people? All you really know is... you just know shit. Have you ever wondered if you’re the only one? Are there other people who think like you?
By A. Soul5 years ago in Motivation
Have an Honest Conversation with the Person in the Mirror
Let’s Start Here, Shall We? I am sure that most who read this will think that the title of this post is, in some way, a metaphor; it’s not. We are going to be talking in literal terms; actually, talking to the person you see looking back at you in the mirror. Yes, if you do this out loud, like you should, then, well; you are going to feel a little silly. Despite that uncomfortable and silly feeling, you will find that it helps.
By Timothy A Rowland5 years ago in Motivation
A BRIGHTER FUTURE
Today is Tuesday October the 16, 2020 and I have decided to finish my book by the 16th so I am giving myself a deadline finally and a goal. It has been very difficult trying to do these things while constantly being shuffled around or harassed in one way or another however I am proud of myself that during all over the turmoil I have still managed to stay strong and not get into any bad habits that would potentially ruin me. I have been tested many times within the last year ever since I had my hand injury and at first I was very defensive. Going to church really helped me a lot because it seemed I felt abandoned by my sister and x which was extremely hurtful. Then I went through all the harassment by police swat teams among other strange unexplainable situations to finding a place on Hero Way and Ronald Reagan Blvd in Leander. I felt this was a good place for me at the time because I joined the VFW Auxiliary there and continued with a new therapist and continued going to church. Then I felt uneasy when I realized my roommate's wife had cameras on me while they were in India and I moved to Kemah to be closer to my grandmother, mother and father. I don't regret going there because I was able to spend time with my grandmother who turned 100 years old this year and my mom. I do regret moving to the area next to an old friend from 20 years ago who has become an alcoholic. I also regret confiding in her about the disagreements between my sister and I because I feel like she used it to make me look bad or "crazy" as she was telling others. Even though I kept to myself there were rumors being spread about me the whole time I lived there that I wasn't aware of until it stared to affect me personally. I started having issues getting my mail, prescriptions, prices were inflated at the stores. I started being followed every time I left my condo. I wasn't able to call my mom or friends because the phone would go to voicemail and they couldn't call me either. Then one night I went out I was drugged and ended up getting arrested for DWI then held against my will for a week in jail. I was stripped naked, drugged again, then mentally tormented about my son and father. Then while I was in alone in a cell naked and hallucinating a woman came up and asked me if I had any jewelry or anything of value to help me post bail I said no. Then I went into another holding cell and a lady in there told me that she heard me asking for a Doctor and if I felt like I had been drugged. I told her yes and she looked at another lady as if to say it was her. Then I went to the nurse and she took my blood and told me I wasn't "pregnant' which was very strange because I hadn't had sex in over a year. Then I was held for a week in a pod with these women who were mocking me and keeping me awake all night talking about all sorts of gross things like drugs and other things that I would rather not remember because they made me very uncomfortable. My constitutional rights were violated and I was treated inhumane and falsely accused of a DWI even though I wasn't drinking or driving. Then when I got out my apartment had been ransacked and land documents missing along with my passport and medication. My cats were left without the air conditioner on and with no water, food or litter box. Also when I went to jail I had my contacts on and when I got out I had my glasses on and I didn't have my house keys but had to get them from a suspicious tow truck driver that charged me $500 to get my car out from some place called "Dash Towing" that was owned by some lady in New York.
By Irene Rose Johnson5 years ago in Motivation
Break the chains with your past.
We all have traumas and pain that have been hurting us all of our lives, bringing us down with self destruction. When we heal through forgiveness we break our selves from past traumas and pains that have kept us as prisoners, we remove the power we gave missery without our permission.
By Tivisay Munguia 5 years ago in Motivation
The Root of Your Intention
In the Christian environment that I was raised in, I often heard the phrase "money is the root of all evil." I heard it so frequently that I could practically predict its arrival in conversations, when it was being prepared in the mind to roll off the tongue as a philosophical addition to the complaints of the current state of the world. I was raised to believe that money was a product of hell, that it was created to be a mind-control tactic that could manipulate people into committing awful acts for the sake of it. While some of these views can ring true when looking at many situations on a global and individual scale, I’ve come to learn that this perspective helped to integrate what I refer to as the scarcity mindset within my family, and thus within me.
By Alexandria5 years ago in Motivation
Live A While
Almost 30 and still tryin to find my place in this world. Out of all the people in the world there is only one me. No duplicates no clones, just a walkin example of my upbringin. We go through life thinkin we got all the answers and then we find ourselves questionin everything we think we know...my Dad always told me, "just live. You may not understand everything now but as you get older you will look back and say now I know what my Dad was sayin." #trustory I still got a lot of thinkin and growin to do. Its only recently that I realize I got a lot of decisions to make. Sometimes the path we tread will eventually lead to a dead end and we gotta set out to find a new course. Dont beat yourself up...its not the end of the road..we all will have trials and tribulations to go through. Each of us have our own test to take...the question is will you come out on top?...I dunno maybe Im just a fool maybe I think differently then everyone, and thats ok too. We all aren’t meant to travel the same path as everyone else and you want to know the sad but true reality, Some of us plan our future and who we’re taking with us to the end of time. Sorry, there is a chance that life will have other plans for you, and this won’t happen for everyone, Some action unfortunate do you have there vision plans for the future go as according to plan. I am in no way mad or jealous or secretly pouting to myself. I am actually elated to see other individuals actually have there wishes and dreams become a reality. Now does that mean all hope is lost for me? Absolutely not, as long as you’re willing, you’re able and there is nothing that should stop you or come in the way of your goals and dreams. I had big plans and visions for my life, I have it completed everything then I envisioned all my life, but I have made the best attempts at adjusting to the unseen detours and roadblocks I didn’t plan in my life so soon. You’re probably wondering what I meant by plan so soon, well I was 26 years old well my dad died. I didn’t plan choose a parrot that early at that age, in fact I planned to be much older and my dad to be much older as well you know at that age when our parents get older in we reach that cycle of life? Yeah, but there’s no law that says that we are all promised to be old when we die there are children dying before their parents. No parent plans to bury their child we always expect the parents to go first but the truth is that’s not always the case. The loss of my dad really took the vision and drive I had for my life away for me, I thought I had lost it forever but that forever was only for six years. There was always this voice in the back of my mind still pushing me and encouraging me to still make something of myself and be the man I knew was in me to be successful and do great things. I listened to that voice, and allowed myself grieve but not to the point where I lost myself. If you have ever lost a dad, And it doesn’t matter if you were close or not, you feel that disconnect, that pain and emptiness. I could never describe in the words the feeling of nothingness, the feeling of feeling confused, and trying to except reality. I’ve put myself in that position long before it actually happened I try to make myself prepare for when I knew it was coming, but I just didn’t know when, or that it would be so soon in my life. I am fortunate at I was able to make my dad proud and hear him say the words and every son or daughter wishes to hear, “I’m proud of you.” To know that I made my dad problem, I believe it was one of the things that helped me get through. To be completely honest with you, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life after my dad passed. Everything that seemed crystal clear was now blurred and unrecognizable.
By Kevin Nelson5 years ago in Motivation
Gone with the Wind
Under the grey skies of northern England do I stand, on a cool, autumnal day. On both sides of me are two rows of terraced houses, long and drab, blocking out the wind to the best of their ability, but these gusts are crafty and resourceful, slipping through all the available openings and reaching out to me, catching the stray ends of my hair and making them dance like marionettes.
By Peter Spering5 years ago in Motivation
