Isolation

Its been about four months since I wrote my last piece here, which I originally intended to follow up much sooner than this. But then again, time hasn't exactly been something I'm keeping much track of these days. Four months ago we had been self isolated to our home for three months. By standard math, that makes this seven, going on eight months at home. Can you imagine that? Eight months staying in one place, not leaving for work or school, not being able to go out or see friends. Its a form of hell, for sure.

Being an extrovert, having to stay home for long periods of time is a nightmare. I'm the type of person who enjoys going out, seeing friends, eating at a restaurant, going to the movies, etc. However, the only social interaction I have had in the last almost year is the rare social distance hangout on our back porch or facetiming those who I long to embrace.

I think at this point I have gone through at least eight different lengths and colors of hair since being stuck at home. We here have had to find various ways to grasp onto some sense of normalcy. My saving grace has been a friend of mine who goes to school remotely coming over and staying with us for the weekend.

I had a moment the other day where I had to actually leave the house, as in doing so saw a person on the sidewalk. We socially distanced and worse masks to stay safe, and asked each other how our days have been. The feeling of asking a random person how their day was going had honestly been the highlight of this entire thing.

Well, maybe that and all the video games I've been playing.

While it certainly has felt like one long and never ending sleepover, there have been some moments or times of clarity that have made me realize what's most important to me in life. This time at home has allowed me to reflect on what I want to do with my life, the places that I want to go, and the people that I want to meet.

For so long, I've wanted to act. I've always dreamed of acting in film and one day seeing myself on a movie poster in a theatre where three-hundred or more moviegoers see me on the big screen. Attending movie premiers and awards shows, having vanity fair magazine show up to my house and expect me to give them a tour of the place.

What all this time of self-reflection has made me realize is that the only way that Ill ever live out my dream is to just do it, to try.

What good is living in this world if you don't get to do what you want and to genuinely enjoy living. So many people get in this habit of trying to be successful and trying to find a steady job that they can afford a house to start a family, so on and so forth. But does that make them happy? No, probably not. Maybe it does, but im sure a large majority of these people are not as happy as they could be.

With almost eight billion people on this planet, ten-thousand cities, and hundreds of countries its a shame to see people go this route. You will never be able to visit every city in the world. You will never meet every person in the world. You will never get to experience every culture of the world. We are all just tiny specs in the vast expanse of the cosmos. Isn't that just so goddamn sad?

But it doesn't have to be.

We have the opportunity to make our insignificant lives something meaningful. You don't have to amount to something great or become successful by owning property or caring about net-worth. What makes you great is how you stand by your own morals and choose to be who you want to be. What makes humanity great is that it doesn't last. Something isn't beautiful if it doesn't end.

Find success in your own happiness.

That's what isolation has taught me.