Truly Happy People Share This One Quality

"Thank you, Dad! Now I can see how poor we are!"

Abdul is a wealthy man who felt like he needed to expose his son to the other side of life in order to get him to appreciate the things his wealth had afforded him. To drill this lesson home, he came up with a brilliant idea - he arranged a three-day vacation in the countryside where they'd spend their days with the poor.

After three days were up on their drive back, Abdul, confident that his plan had worked, engaged his reserved son in a conversation.

"So, what do you think about the trip and the people?"

"Not bad! It was great, Dad." Abad said tentatively.

The father, sensing the hesitation, pushed his son to speak.

"Is that all? I know you had fun with the locals. What do you think about how they live?"

"Well, we've only got one dog. They got four. Our fences are high for protection. They don't need it because they feel safe with their neighbours. We have a small piece of land. They have fields that are endless and green. We buy food. They grow it. We have a pool. They have streams and rivers. We have expensive lights in our house. They have the stars over their heads."

"So thanks Dad, for making me see how poor we are."

I love this story. My mom told me when I was a kid. I think about it a lot, as I reflect on the fact that six years ago I took a raft from Africa to Italy to find a better life for myself. Saying goodbye to my Mom, siblings and friends was the hardest thing I had to do. It was the real-life re-enactment of the famous movie by Will Smith, "The Pursuit of Happiness."

I remember these stories whenever I feel anxious. Sometimes my impatience to reach my goals quickly can take a toll on my emotions. These lessons help me recalibrate my mind and direct its focus to the right place.

My Mom would say;

"Na who see today, dey plan for tomorrow."

In other words: Only those who are alive today can plan for tomorrow. It is a call to gratitude. To take stock of everything you've got going for you. So be present in the moment and be grateful for the opportunity to be here.

Happiness becomes elusive when we attach it to an external acquisition. As humans, our eyes can only focus on one thing at a time. So when we focus on the things we feel we want, we inadvertently lose sight of what we already have.

It's like the man who looks through the window, and doesn't see the sun but instead sees the speck on the glass.

We all look but see differently.

Abad helped the father to see things from a slightly different perspective. From my experience, this is the one quality that sets truly happy people apart. Perspective.

Life happens in the mind.

Our reality is a construct of our mind. It is how we choose to interpret the world around us that makes all the difference. A slight change in perspective can make life feel warmer.

Truly happy people do not think life has it in for them.

Truly happy people don't think everyone's out to get them.

Truly happy people do not try to cherry-pick life's experiences.

They believe that the good times of life are a blessing. A gift they probably didn't earn. They enjoy every moment. And when the bad times come, they accept them for what they are. They don't try to fight them.

I am reminded of the words of Les Brown; "we are either in a problem, just left one, or headed towards one.

We are either in a problem, just left one, or headed towards one.

To be truly happy does not mean to expect things to go wrong all the time so you do not get disappointed. But rather, to accept that there are things we cannot control. To understand that when things go wrong, you do not have to go with them.

Were there times when you experienced difficult circumstances from which you saw no way out at the time? What about those moments when you exhausted yourself chasing a job, a relationship, or a special someone you thought would make your whole world light up? What happened to that? Ain't you still here today?

Living life in perpetual need isn't living. Such a life is plagued with many disappointments and dissatisfactions. It eats at our mental health. It trims down the quality of our lives because we live in constant expectation. Irritation, passive aggression, loss of energy and motivation soon become our day to day mental and emotional norm that makes our lives feel like a burden.

All it takes is a shift in perspective, a slight change in how we interpret life to help us take notice of the things that truly give happiness; not success, money or fame, but rather, love, friends and freedom.

These were the things Abad noticed about the people. They lived in a place of harmony, surrounded by loved ones. They had each other and they shared everything as a family. Everyone felt safe and secure in their homes.

They didn't need a high fence because they had loving and trustworthy friends they could count on. Friends who were like family. Sharing compassion and lending hands of generosity among themselves.

They lived life on their own terms. Freely and happily. They chose what to do and when to do it. Everyone played their role out of willingness and the desire to contribute to the family and community.

These are the bedrock of happiness.

In conclusion…

The goal for everyone is to be happy. When we chase a good job, a lovely house, a beautiful partner, it's because we desire to feel happy.

But how many genuinely happy people do you know? Start with yourself. Are you genuinely happy?

Happiness evades us because it is something that comes from the one place we often do not look - within us.

Chasing happiness is like putting the cart before the horse. We are not meant to do things to be happy. We're meant to do everything with happiness. Happiness creates a quality life.

The secret to a happy life is to be happy with what you have while in pursuit of what you want. For it is not what we do not have but what we think we need that keeps us from being happy.

To understand that life does not happen to you. It happens for you.