8 Ways to Craft Your Own Happiness

“You will find something more in woods than in books.”

— Saint Berna

I spent the afternoon with Jude. He’s got a carpentry shop in my neighbourhood. Jude’s a cool guy. We play a lot of board games together. Chess. Ludo. His place is a great spot for a couple of guys to hang out.

There is something you need to know about Jude though. The guy likes to talk. This is especially true when it comes to talking about life and how to live a good one.

“Carpentry is just like life,” Jude said one day over a game of Ludo. “And like life, it’s up to you to put together what you want. It’s up to you to use the tools you have.”

Jude went on to tell me that most people chase happiness when what they should be doing is using a little bit of ingenuity to nail together their own happiness. After all, the best things are made not bought.

“I want a simple parlour stool,” Jude said. “What have I got? Pieces of wood, nails, a chisel and a hammer. Sometimes in life, that’s all you need to make your own happiness — the type that truly lasts.”

Jude kept talking.

He always keeps talking.

I leaned in.

1. Everything falls apart if you aren’t honest.

“Show me a chair that falls apart and I’ll show you a dishonest carpenter.”

Jude told me that the foundation of carpentry is honesty. He went on to say the same goes for life. After all, if what you build — whether that’s relationships or chairs — has loose foundations, you’ll end up on your ass.

But this just doesn’t mean being honest with other people and in our work — it’s also being honest with ourselves. You gotta admit your flaws to yourself. If you don’t open yourself up to the truth, you’ll never grow.

“I can say confidently that my work is founded on honesty. If I am not honest when I put things together, in the end, it will all fall apart.

The same goes for life.

It is good that we are honest about who we are when going into a relationship. Sometimes, for the sake of being liked and accepted, we may be tempted to hide a little bit of ourselves in the dark.

Always remember that it is better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you're not.”

At this point, I felt I let Jude take me on this life lecture all the way.

2. Pay attention to the bits and pieces.

My job is about putting little things together to create something wonderful.

When people come into my shop with a desire, it is my job to find the little things I can put together to create it. I first focus on what’s available to me. The little things I already have usually turned out to be the most useful.

In life most times, we think happiness only comes from doing the big things. So we chase after the fancy stuff money can buy; the big home, the big phones and the big cars. Only to realize that it gets boring quickly and we need to buy more to keep the flames of happiness burning.

True happiness is found by redirecting our eyes to the things in front of us. In making the deliberate and conscious effort to recognise those little things that are available to us, we learn quickly that sometimes the things we truly need can be clouded by the things we feel we want.

You may buy a big house, but it doesn't make it a home. When you understand that happiness comes from putting little things, like love, family, etc, as the centrepiece, a house becomes a home.

These things can’t be bought.

3. The small things hold the big frame.

It is easy to get carried away by the allure and beauty of finished work.

When we look at a piece of furniture, we do not realise that the coming together of little pieces of wood makes it stand.

Unfortunately, this is how most of us view life.

We focus so much on accomplishing grandiose things, while failing to realise that, great things do not just happen overnight. It is the humble act of putting one foot in front of the other. Meticulously writing down every plan and strategy, studying, gathering skill, and making quality friends helps make the big things come alive.

Jude went on to say that when he set out to make premium furniture, he did not focus on the big picture only.

“I set my eyes on the little tools and materials I need. If I can skillfully utilize the little pieces, the big result is inevitable.” He added.

4. Do you want it to last? You’ve got to be patient.

“Putting pieces of wood together takes time and as a woodworker, I have to be patient with the little pieces else the result I’ve imagined will never be born.

The real things, the things that truly make us happy, take time.

Nothing remotely good will come easy.

I’ve been working on that Chesterfield sofa over there for nearly two weeks now. I’m in no haste to get it done. I know what I hope to make, so I take it slow and do not hurry the process.

If you desire happiness, you must know that there are things that can be done easily and quickly. Some things will require patience.

Hurriedness is never a good route to take when seeking something durable and of high worth.

To build a good life, the kind that brings peace and a genuine sense of satisfaction, you must take your time to lay a good foundation. At least, do it in such a way that there is something durable, that you can count on. You can look at it and say; “Yes, I did that.”

5. Never be afraid to critique your own creation.

Before I phone my customers that their work is ready, I take a long hard judgemental look at what I’ve made.

I need to make sure I am satisfied with what I'm seeing.

If I am not, my customers won't be either. I do this because I know just like life, my craft is prone to errors and mistakes.

I cut myself some slacks because I am not perfect.

During my apprenticeship, I made a tonne of mistakes, but guess what? So also did my master. And if there is anything valuable that I learned from him, it is that no one is above mistakes. Every master is just a student with more freedom and responsibility.

Do not expect perfection from yourself. That would be unkind.

There is something, however, that is always within reach — excellence. Learn to put your back into everything you do. To see that it is the best job you could do and you possibly couldn't do it any better.

6. Work with someone else’s happiness in mind.

When I work, my sole aim is to put a smile on the faces of my clients. Their first reaction was priceless.

It is what I look forward to.

It tells me, I have created something that touched the soul.

When we put our vanity and ego aside and seek to place others’ comfort and happiness in front of whatever we do, we end up getting double of what we give.

If I continue to work only for my selfish gain, I think my shop would be closed by now. What customers would seek you out when what you produce does not meet their satisfaction?

Make other people happy by what you do, you won’t need to hang your own banner, they’ll wave it for you anywhere they go.

7. You’ve got to let the gain come last.

“I remember when I started my apprenticeship,” Jude said.

“After three months, I almost quit because the work felt tedious and boring.”

“If you hope to be a man capable of making a happy family someday, you need something that will last long to keep your family fed and comfortable.” My master said to me.

Today, I am glad I listened to those words.

Finding true happiness isn't about searching for quick fixes. Or putting the financial benefits upfront.

Money always follows value and skill. But you must learn to set aside the material gains and the chase of money, (that never ends), and focus on getting the value first.

Everyone wants money to make their life easier. However, it is not the money you should place your focus on. Money responds to something called value. Take your time to find it, and the money will follow like ants to sugar.

8. Usefulness before beauty.

I wasn’t the only apprentice that worked for my master. But among many, only a few of us did make it to the end.

In the beginning, I told you I was discouraged. It was the advice of my master that kept me going. But others left. Today when I see some of those old friends, their faces are mired with regrets.

The difference between us was they sought beauty and didn't want the process. I went through the process and found beauty.

In our culture today, television and the internet are marketing beauty without responsibility. Misleading everyone that true happiness and a good life can be bought. What a lie!

The truth is this:

The beautiful things in life are beautiful only because they’re useful.

If you become useful, no one can market you fake happiness. You’ll create it yourself as I do here in my shop every day.

Finally…

Having had my ears and mind filled with Jude's thoughts, I’m adding his final rants as a closing to this piece.

“I wish that many people would understand these things that I have somehow figured out putting pieces of wood together to make things of beauty.

We cherish technology and greatly appreciate the digital world it has created, but I believe that true happiness isn't made digitally.

It is done manually.

That is why there are so many unhappy people, even though they spend thousands of dollars yearly trying to buy happiness, they still are not happy.

True happiness is like carpentry; look around you and gather what you have: a few pieces of wood, maybe — some nails, a chisel, a hammer and put together your happiness, exactly the way you want it.”