The Quiet Panic of A 20 Something Year Old

A common thought that has run through my mind this past year. Scrolling through social media, I have come across numerous people around my age who are unfortunately feeling the same burden as me.

We are losing in this game; we didn’t ask to play.

It’s not surprising that so many young adults and adults in their early to mid-thirties feel behind as of late. It is the new norm. It is what’s to be expected.

Some people are moving much faster than everyone else, achieving more in life and checking all the right boxes in milestones. While some are just stuck, not because they want to be, but because of the rules of the game.

Go to college and get a job. Check

Earn an honest wage. Check

Build Credit. Check

Avoid teen pregnancy. Check

Get Married. Check

“But, don’t put all your hopes and dreams into one basket because we are not lowering prices for you to live. Living is a privilege.”

I must say, one thing this chapter in my life is teaching me in this moment is that, like everyone else who is feeling like me, it’s not our fault. We are just doing the best we can with the pieces we were given. I am learning to slow down, unwind, and let life unfold as I go. It’s not up to me to try to force myself or rush to check off all the milestones.

I need to live in the moment because time does not stop for anyone, not even me.

The Myth of Being “Behind”

Societal Milestones, Comparisons are just a few of the ways I, like so many others, feel behind. This constant pressure to achieve certain milestones is stressful. This narrative feels overplayed and needs to go back into the depths of the cave it came from.

Are we really behind? Are Gen Z and Millennials feeling the impact of unwarranted Slack?

In my thoughts, I have come to realize there is no universal clock that tells us when to start living. It’s just something we must do.

Unfortunately, society or the world in general has created the assumption that we are on this earth to just pay bills and to be slaves to work and not enjoy life. I think this is why so many of us are feeling behind. Life is meant to be enjoyed. We only get this one shot at it.

Learning to Go With the Flow (Even When It’s Uncomfortable)

Flow with whatever may happen, and let your mind be free - Zhuangzi

Learning to go with the flow is one of the main mottos I have adopted in my life in recent years. I’ve stopped pursuing control, certainty, and seeking (some) answers. For example, moving back to Houston, TX, was not an ideal choice for me; if anything, I hated the idea. It has been two years since I’ve been back, and I’m realizing that, despite my dislike for my hometown, it has taught me to just go with the flow.

I have reached a point in my journey where it is time for me to venture on and find a new home elsewhere. Am I excited? Yes, you could say. But I am unsure of what the future holds or how I’ll sustain myself.

That’s where letting go takes place.

Going with the flow isn’t giving up, but loosening your grip on what you can control and just living. In this world, I know so many young adults are feeling anxiety and stress about not feeling joy in life because of where they are right now.

However, I want to encourage others like myself to just be present and go with the flow. It’s about trusting yourself in this current time and slowly building on your passions and interests that you enjoy.

Patience as a Skill, Not a Personality Trait

If I’m honest, there are times when I don’t even put my all into working as hard as I used to at my current job. I originally went to school for astrophysics and unfortunately the economy right now is so bad I work a job I did not go to school 4. I am very grateful, however, it only pays the bills.

I can’t even say I go out much because I can’t afford to. This is why I fell behind.

No one really emphasizes how much confidence and self-esteem can be affected by a prolonged situation. In this moment, patience has been one of the key attributes I have been learning.

It is definitely one of those traits you have to learn because it is definitely not inherent.

Because we often compare ourselves to others who are way ahead of us, the spirit of impatience often creeps into our lives out of fear.

Fear of wasting time.

Fear of making wrong decisions.

Or the Feeling of being permanently behind.

Alongside fear is an attribute that no one really talks about, but is sitting there in plain sight, and not often looked upon, and that is grace.

Even when nothing has changed on the outside, best believe a small ounce of growth is happening, all thanks to the grace we give ourselves every day.

Trusting the Timing of Your Life

Going with the flow does not mean not caring; it simply means allowing life to take us on a journey through time. Life is a journey that requires patience, presence, and grace.

Right now, progress for me has been having a platform to write on for over a year and slowly building myself up in ways I never thought possible. I’m still moving with certain plans. I don’t know how those plans will be funded or achieved, but I know it will get done somehow

If you’re feeling behind in life, you might actually be right where you need to be. It’s not a race or a marathon.

It’s a walk through life.