satire
Workplace satire, comedy, and all things satirical in the Journal corporate culture digital space.
22-7
22/7 Today I write with the intention of addressing several grievances. I feel the need to not only defend myself but provide an explanation as to why things are the way they and a personal theory into how. Firstly, it is important that you understand that I will never be able to see eye-to-eye with you. This is not a matter of difference in opinion but a difference in nature. Secondly, I will make mention of my own frustrations to these misunderstandings and your seemingly outright refusal to even consider the fact that, no, your brother is not who you believe him to be. Thirdly, I request complete and utter silence and disconnect in communications. Do not, I repeat, do not contact me about anything irrelevant lest it be an emergency. This is a harsh beginning but I encourage you to continue.
By Vennen Tannage4 years ago in Journal
The ADHD Brain
6:30 - Wake up before my son wakes up. Make coffee and prepare his morning bottle. 6:45 - Remember I need to brush my teeth before he gets up. I get to the bathroom still holding bottle, why am I still holding it? Put it down, gotta brush hair. Oh gosh, need to clean the sink, it’s still dirty.
By Emilie Turner4 years ago in Journal
The Real Reason You Aren't Being Promoted
Bunfights, the Dunning-Kruger effect, the Peter Principle and Raised Eyebrows In the year I was promoted, interest rates rose to 5.25%. International markets went downhill on a black bin liner, and it wasn’t long before the world experienced an almighty financial crash. The worst economic disaster since the Great Depression of 1929.
By Malky McEwan4 years ago in Journal
Omar's Diary for May 22
We have a Banksy Here in the UK we have an artist named "Banksy". If you are not familiar with his work it appears on blank walls around the country as if by magic overnight. No one has ever seen him, or indeed it could be her, work yet some of the images are very complex and defy the realms of what would be accepted as "normal" for the painting of murals. Some of Banksy's work has added a great deal of value to properties they appear on. Not that we are even thinking of having Omar Towers valued for sale.
By Alan Russell4 years ago in Journal
A British Holiday
British Vacation Recently, I went on vacation to the UK and wanted to get something to eat. I entered the restaurant and was seated and handed a leather-bound menu to review. The lunch section of the menu said Fish and Chips. After placing my order, I drank some water and reviewed the informational package provided to me by the travel agent.
By Angie Johnson4 years ago in Journal
Sleeping Beauty Never had a 9 to 5 or WiFi
As I get older, I totally understand why people choose sleep over socializing. We are just too damn tired and being an adult is really hard these days, especially if you’re a millennial. I literally have to think of 5 different things just for my skincare routine, so just imagine how exhausting it is to live life. I wanted to start this piece similarly to recipes online where you get the backstory of the recipe when all you want to know is if it was 1 teaspoon or 1 tablespoon of paprika. Luckily for you, this is a short story and ad free.
By Ashley Gilmore4 years ago in Journal
Data Log
For my eyes only, keep out. 4th September 20XX Dear Reader, Hello, my name is not important. My work is very classified, and the secrets I hold could change the fate of the world. I feel as though I am being monitored, that is why I am sending these transmissions. This is the only form of communication that I believe to be 100% free of prying eyes.
By Dylan-Quinn Harris4 years ago in Journal
Why "Words" is 2021 Word of the Year
It seemed like you could not go anywhere this year without seeing words everywhere. In fact you could not read or hear anything about anything all year without them. There were some things that you could see or feel without them, but really when you think about it you still needed word(s) to describe that you saw or felt them, so they probably were still needed in those instances too. In any event, words were freakin everywhere, and that is why I have designated “words” my word of the year.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Journal
How To Cheat Fate For Fun and Profit
Let me put forth a scenario I'm fairly certain all of you have been in at some point: You are the ruler of a prosperous city state/kingdom/empire. Things are going well; your treasury's full, your borders are quiet, and your family is happy and growing.
By James P.V. Miller4 years ago in Journal
