satire

Workplace satire, comedy, and all things satirical in the Journal corporate culture digital space.

DEAR QUEEN PROCRAS TINA
Dear Queen Procras Tina, I’m sending this letter to formally resign from my position as your protégé and Senior Procrastination Specialist. I know it’s customary to give two weeks’ notice, but I’m making my exit immediately. This job is sucking the life out of me, and I must go. My writing career has suffered under your tutelage. My last day is today.
By JTrims9 months ago in Journal
I Will No Longer Be Available to Save the World ⚡🌎⚡
Beloved Colleagues (and those of you who get on my nerves), Don't judge me. I am hereby tendering my resignation and giving up my post as a superhero.
By Lightning Bolt ⚡9 months ago in Journal
I resign from being poor.
This morning I woke up and thought: I really don’t love being poor. I'm a single dad, with primary custody of three kiddos. I'm very thankful to finally be single and I love being a dad! But, man, kids are expensive!
By Sam Spinelli9 months ago in Journal
Hostess Cupcake Motherf*ckers
When I was in college—lo, nearly twenty-seven, twenty-eight years ago maybe—I shared a dorm room with a big Black dude with dreadlocks who smoked a lot of grass. Dude was cool to me though, man. We used to have a good laugh at our lily-white, bourgeois fellow students and their often sanctimonious and totally naive worldview, which usually amounted to wearing their sanctimonious, woke—or whatever you call it these days—hearts on their designer sleeves.
By Tom Baker9 months ago in Journal
Subject: Letter of Resignation
Dear Sir/Madam/Grief Department Head/Whoever Keeps the Ledger of the Living and the Lost, Please consider this my formal resignation.
By E. C. Mira9 months ago in Journal
Untitled Public Service Announcement. Runner-Up in I Resign From… Challenge.
May 30, 2025 To whom it may concern, To Ms. Ferguson, To her. To you, To me, I don't know how formal or informal this should be. I've done a resignation letter twice. Both times I was bitter yet restrained. I tried to be respectfully disrespectful. I was calculated and careful with my word choice. Desperation was my motivation for both resignation letters. Though the forces driving each period of desperation were so drastically different. Financial stagnancy vs emotional exhaustion. No chance for lateral movement vs being paralyzed by grief and failure.
By Jada Ferguson9 months ago in Journal
Stepping Down From My High Horse
I am writing this letter to officially announce that today (May 29, 2025) I am stepping down from my lofty position atop my high horse. Effective immediately I will no longer be gazing down upon you, the unwashed masses, in disgust, as I point out the many ways you have failed and fallen short along with the seemingly endless number of things which I do better than you.
By Everyday Junglist9 months ago in Journal
I Abdicate the Throne... . Content Warning.
Dear Universe, I am over this toxic reality where pain is inevitable and hatred reigns supreme. As an empath it is just too much to endure, feeling the emotion and energy from all around unbearable with this level of cruelty and stupidity. I resign from shouldering everything that you keep piling on my shoulders. You can take this bullshit, twisted reality show version of reality and fuck right off with it! I am done! It hurts too much to keep feeling it all, to keep seeing it all! My heart is aching from the unending trauma you have put me through since childhood and instead of giving me a fucking break, you shove fucking hot pokers into the scars.
By Luna Verity9 months ago in Journal
I'm Right Sorry
Dear Bossman, I know I ain’t got much good in my noggin, and what’s there is rattlin’ around. I got a coupla questions on your after-work program since I’m gonna bin dun workin’ here soon with baby #7 and I canna lift anythin’ heavier than a bag o’ flour or I’ll drop the little’un outta my vajayjay. We’s got a lot o’ sitiations righ now. my old man just got outta the hopsital on account of the shingles, and he done had plenty o’ problems with the IB. The dang nurses couldn’t get that needle in right. They done tore up his arms trying to find them there veins. Can your after-work porgram gonna help find nurses how do a IB rite?
By Barb Dukeman9 months ago in Journal
Top 10 AI Business Ideas to Start in 2025 (No Coding Needed)
AI is no longer just for tech experts. In 2025, anyone can start an AI-powered business—even without coding skills. Thanks to no-code platforms and powerful AI tools, entrepreneurs are creating profitable ventures in content creation, marketing, education, and more.
By Shakil Sorkar9 months ago in Journal
How AI Vocal Removers Are Changing Music Production in 2025
In 2025, the world of music production has entered a revolutionary phase, thanks to the rise of AI vocal removers. What used to take hours of manual editing and complex software tools can now be achieved in minutes with the help of artificial intelligence. Whether you're a content creator, DJ, karaoke enthusiast, or budding music producer, AI vocal removers are opening doors to creativity like never before.
By Shakil Sorkar9 months ago in Journal
Important Tax Tips for Painters: How to Avoid Overpaying the IRS . Content Warning.
The maze of tax regulations can be as difficult to traverse as a painter's brushstrokes. It is critical to know how to handle your taxes well because revenue can fluctuate greatly depending on factors like the size of the project or the time of year. If you want to save money on your taxes and avoid paying too much to the IRS, this site is for you.
By Self Assessment Tax Return9 months ago in Journal