My Moment with Humility

It started yesterday. I had a full day of meetings and reports to write, so I had no time for anything but work.

I woke up feeling feverish. My daughters had just had the flu, so I assumed I must be getting it, too. I sleepily stumbled to the washroom and went to pee. It hurt a little; my back was sore, and when I wiped, there were spots of blood. I'd just had my period, so I shrugged off the strangeness.

I took a quick hot shower, poured a cup of coffee, and sat down for my first meeting. I quickly jotted down agenda items in preparation. I was late and apologized.

I made it through the first meeting. I was busily jotting down notes as quickly as possible, my to-do list growing. At my next meeting, I apologized for my inability to switch tasks and projects for the participants. After five minutes, I was ready to proceed. After pre-meeting familiarities, my to-do list grew longer, with items that needed my attention and completion today.

After the meeting ended, I made a list of work to complete over the next 48 hours—items I could check off. Then, I decided to take a break; it was lunchtime. I have been training for a marathon, and I had a short 31-minute recovery run to accomplish today.

I quickly changed into my running clothes, peeing and again feeling pain and seeing spots of blood when I wiped. I became increasingly agitated as I ran, listening to the guide's calming, meditative voice. I had to pee; I had to pee so bad that I wasn't sure I could make it back home. I ran through the door, completing 5.5 km in 31 minutes. “Mommy!” my daughter raced excitedly to my side. “Mommy has to pee out of the way!” I exclaimed.

But when I sat down to pee, I couldn't. Nothing would come out. The longer I strained and pushed, the more tiny blood clots dripped into the toilet. I was in excruciating pain. I yelled to my husband, “I have a call with the bank in 10 minutes, and something is wrong. Can you answer?” he agreed.

I tried desperately to pull myself together through the pain. I asked Alexa for home remedies for bladder infections. I scoffed down six vitamin C pills and a big glass of cranberry juice while holding a towel between my legs because I couldn't stand the urge to pee.

My important meeting at 1:00 pm was approaching, and I was not dressed. I was still sitting, trying to pee. The pain in my back was unbearable. Could this be kidney stones? If it was, the vitamin C may have been a mistake. I took some Tylenol and tried to get dressed. I had 10 minutes. I was sweating all over from the pain, so I tried coating myself in baby powder, which, instead of making me look well, created a ghost-like appearance on my desperate body.

Finally, I conceded. My lengthy to-do list and important meetings were not going to happen. I texted my brother, who also works for me, and begged him to take the 1:00 meeting. He agreed, worried.

I managed to get dressed and drove to the emergency room. Where I was triaged. There I sat, in agony, with a to-do list from hell looming over me. It was 8 hours before I saw a doctor and was diagnosed with possible kidney stones and a kidney infection. I was given IV antibiotics and a prescription and sent home with the instructions to return the following day for a CT scan.

The following day, I awoke, still feeling ill, able to pee now but with a burning and painful sensation. My poor five-year-old daughter was dragged along for the scan. Surely, after waiting 8 hours, this would be quick.

The marathon I had been training for opened registration at 11 a.m. that morning, the exact time I was in the CT scan. The last three times I tried to register, it had sold out immediately. I texted my parents and begged them to try to register me. Running the Disney Princess Marathon had been on my bucket list for years.

The CT scan was completed quickly. My sweet baby and I returned to the ER and sat, waiting my turn to see the doctor. My daughter was patient initially, but slowly, as the hours ticked by, she became hungry and frustrated. My parents were in the registration queue for the marathon. We were waiting and waiting. We had a moment of joy when they were successful. “Evie, my love, we are going to Disney.” The registration and associated costs were in American dollars, and they took up the remaining limits on my credit card.

My daughter started begging for food, but there was not a penny left in my bank account. I was suffering from kidney stones in an uncomfortable chair with a starving 5-year-old.

An older woman arrived with her granddaughter. There were no seats together, so I asked my daughter to push over to ensure room for them. We chatted a bit, and I helped them access the hospital Wi-Fi so her granddaughter could watch YouTube. They listened as I had to tell my daughter I didn't have the money to buy her food; she would have to wait until we returned home.

After four hours of waiting, a nurse checked in on us. The kind woman I had helped asked if there was any food they could give my daughter. “That little one is hungry, and her mother is in pain.” The nurse came back with cookies and popsicles. I was so thankful.

We’re still sitting here waiting. I'm still in pain, but my child has food. I'm humbled. I gave what I could to make space for this family, and she ensured my child was fed. Sitting here thinking about small acts of kindness, I reflect on how a small act can bring empathy in return. If every person could just take a second to notice anothers experience and offer what they can to improve it I think there would be many more good days than bad because we don't know the struggle of the person sitting next to us, but sometimes we can alleviate their immediate burden.