'Till Death

INT. LIVING ROOM

A married couple, JESS and PAUL are having dinner at home with JESS' Mother, SAMANTHA.

JESS is in a cast with a faded black eye, she's attempting to pick up a salad bowl and the cutlery all at once, struggling miserably

SAMANTHA grabs the bowl from her hands and judges her with a sly smile.

SAMANTHA

When are you finally going to get that ugly contraption off of you?

PAUL

Jeez, sorry her cast offends your eyes, Sam

SAMANTHA

You know I hate it when you call me that

PAUL

Sorry Sam, I just thought you'd be a little more compassionate about the fact your daughter nearly died, but hey!

JESS

(Laughs)

I didn't almost diiiie, thank you!

They all continue to assemble the table and eventually sit, the table is facing the family room with a large TV taking up most of the space

PAUL

Hmm, I don't know about you, but getting hit by a truck is a near deather to me

JESS

Near deather? Is that a new one?

PAUL

Thoughts?

JESS

(nodding her head) Could work, I like it

SAMANTHA

Either way, I'm sure my baby won't leave me here without a baby of her own

JESS rolls her eyes

PAUL

If that was an attempt of a clever play on words, I dislike you even more than I thought

SAMANTHA

I'm just saying, I am getting old and life is fragile as you have seen - don't you think it's time?

PAUL

It's genuinely a super power how you can turn every conversation into passing down your shitty genes

JESS

(whispering to Paul)

Hey!

PAUL

(whispering to Jess)

Sorry, collateral

SAMANTHA

Thank you

PAUL

Definitely not a compliment

SAMANTHA

And that definitely wasn't an answer

PAUL

An answer for?

SAMANTHA

Well.. Are we planning?

PAUL

(disgusted)

We?

SAMANTHA

I’m their future grandmother. I just think it’d be nice to know when it’s happening

PAUL

Can you please stop asking me if I’m going to cum in your daughter? I’d love to but that moment isn’t worth paying for and losing sleep over a child that’s going to grow up, eventually realise it hates all of my opinions and around 30 say “Gee, if he wasn't my Dad I don’t think I’d even be friends with him!” in my HONEST opinion

JESS sheepishly looks down - smiling but embarrassed

SAMANTHA

Is that how you see children? Mine didn't grow up like that

PAUL

No comment

SAMANTHA scans the table for more ammunition, she finds a book about parallel universes and snatches it

SAMANTHA

You'd rather spend your time on something like this? Parallel universes and all this hoo ha? Don't you think a family is a little more valuable?

PAUL

PAUL gasps

Hoo ha?

(To Jess) What the fuck

JESS

Yeahhh, touchy subject there Ma, Paul loves his sci-fi

PAUL

(whispering to Jess) Sci-fi?

JESS pats him on his leg as an apology

SAMANTHA's phone buzzes, she picks it up and reads SAMANTHA

Oh! It's 8! Can you go to channel 9?

PAUL

Huh? No way, Mr. Blair's Millionaire Stairs is about to start!

SAMANTHA

But the Lotto's on! And I'm feeling lucky

Oh, Jeez

PAUL

JESSICA

Since when do you buy lotto tickets?

SAMANTHA

This is my first, and it's so exciting!

SAMANTHA leaps up and scurries to the tv remote, she presses the 'on' button repeatedly as if the TV will know she's in a rush.

SAMANTHA (CONT'D)

I bought 50 lotto tickets! I'm not going to win with just one

PAUL

Oh, why didn't you say so! Now you're almost guaranteed

SAMANTHA shoots a glance back

SAMANTHA

Didn't you sign up to that stupid stairs show?

PAUL

Ugh, that's so different. If they call me up I can actually win that

SAMANTHA

Who says I'm not going to win?

PAUL

Maths, that's who.

You know you have more of a chance of just dropping dead from a brain aneurysm right? So, if you do miraculously win this one, it just means, chance-wise, you’re probably gonna die straight after.

JESS

(laughing)

I don't think you know how probability works

PAUL

(smiling at Jess)

Yeah? It makes sense to me, if A is rarer than B, but A happens, then B is bound to happen after - simple maths really

JESS

Hmmm -

PAUL

Just snap. And you’re dead, happens a lot, it’s pretty crazy.

The Lotto comes on

SAMANTHA

OH OH, SHHHH, it's on, it's on!

PAUL rolls his eyes and leans back on his chair as SAMANTHA takes her number card from her bag

The numbers start coming out. With each one SAMANTHA gets more and more excited constantly darting her eyes from the TV back to her card

The last number rolls out, JESS is watching her mum with an eyebrow raised

Samantha freezes for a second, still darting her eyes back and forth

After a moment -

SAMANTHA (CONT'D)

I.. I.. OH MY GOD I WON!!I WON!!! WOHOOOO

She jumps up and down

JESS watches her mum dance like a maniac, shocked but a clear aura of not giving a fuck surrounds her

JESS

(to Paul)

Huh, Honey, it happened I guess that means..

She turns to Paul, his eyes large and bulging from his head staring straight forward

JESS (CONT'D)

Honey?

Paul falls face first into his dinner A beat.

Jess screams a harrowing scream Fade to black

A purple haze rushes past the screen before returning to black

TITLE CARD:

'Till Death

INT. LIVING ROOM

2 PARAMEDICS are trolleying PAUL's body outside the home

PARAMEDIC #1

Wow, a lotto win and a brain aneurysm in one night? What are the odds of that

PARAMEDIC #2

Well, the aneurysm is much more likely so once she won the lotto, it was pretty much guaranteed

PARAMEDIC #1 looks at #2 for a moment

PARAMEDIC #1

You're an idiot.

Back to JESS who is on her couch, frozen.

CUT TO:

EXT. PAUL'S FUNERAL

JESS is sitting on a chair, frozen as the priest is heard

CUT TO:

INT. PAUL'S WAKE

JESS, now without a cast, is sitting on a couch, still frozen.

People are leaving the house, giving JESS their condolences, she remains motionless

Her mother, SAMANTHA eventually sits down next to her - she's wearing an extravagant fur coat and sunglasses, she pats her daughter awkwardly for a moment

SAMANTHA

There there, Jessy-boo. It's hard now but hey, Maybe this gives you a second chance, honey... Start a family, with a respectable nice young man. This will be good for you, you’ll see.

JESS breaks her statue pose

JESS

Really Mum? Paul's body isn't even cold yet

SAMANTHA

Don’t be silly, honey. His corpse would be freezing by now.

JESS shudders

CUT TO:

INT. JESS' BEDROOM

JESS lays on her bed in silence, her entire bedroom, including her is in disarray. She picks up a bowl and sees it's empty - she dies a little inside from this realisation

INT. JESS' KITCHEN

Jess puts a bunch of corn chips in the bowl and layers it with cheese

INT. JESS' KITCHEN - LATER

The bowl of nachos is cooking in the microwave as JESS opens up the fridge, she scans and scans - nothing

She goes to her pantry, more scanning and more nothing

She returns to the fridge for an empty attempt of salvaging her food hopes - nothing.

She stares at the fridge for a moment, after a moment it becomes apparent she is no longer searching for anything - she's simply trying to keep her shit together.

As she is trying, the microwave goes off BEEP

BEEP BE-

CUT TO:

INT. JESS' CAR

JESS' car beeps as she opens it

She steps into her car, salsa in hand, no visible satisfaction for achieving her goal

She starts the car, everything slowly wakes up as she cranes her neck back to reverse

Suddenly 'The Suburbs' by Arcade Fire comes on the radio - JESS jolts her head to the radio with shock in her eyes

No emotion for a while is present as the song blares on Then, JESS breaks.

She sobs and harrows, something we haven't seen since PAUL died.

She struggles to breathe and slams her hands on her steering wheel, shakes it furiously and slumps her head.

A defeated beat.

Suddenly, JESS' phone goes off, She let's it ring for a moment as she reflects on her very recent breakdown

Finally, she picks it up

JESS

Hello?

V.O

Hello! Is that Jess Springler?

Yep

JESS

V.O

Hi! It's Belinda from Mr. Blair's Milionaire stairs! We've been trying to get into contact with Paul Springler, because he made it onto the show! I believe you're his wife?

JESS

Uh.. Yep, that's me

V.O

Great! We had you as his emergency contact so figured try you in case he changed numbers or something.

Are you able to get us into contact with Paul as soon as possible?

JESS

Uh, Paul can't make it on the show

V.O

Oh really? I'm sorry to hear, how come? Is there anything we can do?

JESS

I doubt it. He.. uh.. he broke his leg the other day. He can't walk up our own stairs let alone million dollar ones

V.O

Oh, I'm sorry to hear! Wish him the best from us! But I do have good news, we can slot him in at any time, so we're more than happy to wait out until he recovers

JESS panics a bit

JESS

He's not going to recover

V.O

Oh?

JESS

He, uhh, broke his legs forever

V.O

He's disabled..?

JESS

(sighs)

He's dead. I'm sorry, I don't know why.. Just, broken legs made more sense

V.O

Sure.. Okay.

(a beat)

I'm so sorry to hear

JESS

Uh huh.

An awkward silence

V.O

Umm, well, hey, did.. you want to go on the show?

JESS

What? Really?

V.O

Yeah, sure.. We loved Paul in his audition. He was.. really great. and I'm sure someone like him would marry.. well someone pretty great too.

JESS hears the radio playing, 'The Suburbs' begins to end, a tear comes to JESS' eye

JESS

Okay. Okay, yeah sure, I'll do it

INT. JESS' HOUSE

JESS is getting ready for the show while SAMANTHA is on her couch. She has a man, RON waving a fan on her

SAMANTHA

Tell me again why you're going on this show? We have the money, sweetie.

JESS

Well, YOU have money, I don't really

SAMANTHA

NONSENSE! I'm hurt you would say that. What's mine is yours.

(MORE)

SAMANTHA (CONT'D)

Do you want another Ron? Ron is great at fanning, I truly have never felt this type of air before

RON nods humbly

JESS

No thanks, Mum. I mean, thanks I get it but- well it's not for the money anyways. It's for Paul. This was his favourite show and he would absolutely love to see me on it

SAMANTHA

Argh. Paul, this. Paul, that. When are you going to get over this?

JESS

What the fuck mum, it’s not a breakup - My husband died. AND IT WAS TWO WEEKS AGO

SAMANTHA

It’s just, I think you spent too much time on that relationship and not yourself. I mean come on, Honey

– You don’t even have any friends.

JESS

What are you talking about? I have plenty of friendS. They were at the funeral

EXT. FUNERAL - FLASHBACK

NOTE: All of JESS' Memories are in 2d animation a la Bojack Horseman

JESS is standing at the funeral, almost emotionless as her work friends CAROL, STEVE and KYLE come to greet her

STEVE

Heyyy, I'm sorry about Paul

Silence

KYLE

How's it going?

JESS

Been better, yourself?

KYLE

Yeah good for a Monday I s'pose

CAROL

Yeah and at least the weathers good

STEVE

Tell me about it, I can't stand the cold

KYLE

Yeah it's been windy as recently, good to see the sun once and a while

JESS

I.. hear this summers gonna be a long one

CUT BACK TO:

INT. JESS' HOUSE

Back to normalcy as JESS finishes remembering JESS

I love those guys.

SAMANTHA

I’m just concerned about you, that’s all. After this silliness, we can start getting you back on track

JESS

(Getting ready to leave)

I know you hated him Mum, but I didn't so please just let me grieve

SAMANTHA

I never said I hated him

JESS

(at the door)

Let's go, don't want to be late

INT. PAUL BLAIR'S MILLIONAIRE STAIRS SET

JESS, SAMANTHA and SAMANTHA'S fanner, RON walk onto set before being greeted by BELINDA

BELINDA

Hi! Jess, right?

JESS

That's me

BELINDA

Great to meet you!

JESS smiles as she shakes BELINDA's hand, her attempts of hiding her nervousness are failing miserably

BELINDA (CONT'D)

I'm Belinda, welcome to the set! I hope everything's going well for you?

JESS

Right as rain, absolutely.

BELINDA

Great! This must be your audience members?

JESS

Ah, yeah, this my mum, Samantha and.. my.. exchange student, Ron

BELINDA

Oh! Very nice to meet you, (she shakes their hands)

Exchange student? So where's Ron from?

JESS

(dismissively) I don't know.

BELINDA

Okay.. sure - well I'll let someone take Samantha and Ron to their seats and get you all sorted!

SAMANTHA

Do we have to sit with.. them?

BELINDA

Who's they?

SAMANTHA

The other members of the audience

BELINDA

(laughs)

Of course, where else would you sit

SAMANTHA

I just don't really want to get this fur all germy so quickly, this is real snow leopard whiskers you kno-

JESS

You'll be fine! Don't worry about them

JESS and BELINDA continue on

BELINDA

Okay, so makeup is at 10 and we will have you meeting Blair at about 11! Exciting right?

JESS smiles painfully BELINDA stops

BELINDA (CONT'D)

(Whispering)

Oh, and I told Blair to not mention that your husband's.. you know.

JESS

Thanks,

BELINDA starts walking again, JESS catches up quickly JESS (CONT'D)

Um, thanks for all this

BELINDA

Hey, you don't have many shots at good deeds, I saw one and I shot. It had to be done

JESS smiles genuinely.

INT. BLAIR'S MILLIONAIRE STAIRS SET - LATER

Intro to show

JESS is sitting on seat, BLAIR is opposite her as her entire body tells him she doesn't want to be there

MR. BLAIR

Welcome back to our show! Today we have Jessica Springler trying to climb our millionaire stairs! How far will she go?

The crowd cheers

MR. BLAIR (CONT'D)

Jess, How are you today

JESS

Good thanks, A little nervous

MR. BLAIR

Nothing to be worried about today Jess! You have a free shot at ONE MILLION dollars. How does that make you feel?

JESS

Yeah.. nervous.

MR. BLAIR

So Jess

BLAIR reads his notes

MR. BLAIR (CONT'D)

I hear you have a nice hobby of photography that you share with your husband, Paul? -

BLAIR realises his mistake as he keeps reading his note

MR. BLAIR (CONT'D)

Whooo is very much alive and kicking, correct?

JESS dies a little inside

JESS

Yep.

(defeated)

Right as rain.

BELINDA is shown off stage as she facepalms

BELINDA

Fuck.

Back to the show

MR. BLAIR

Now, are you ready for your first question?

Sure am

JESS

MR. BLAIR

Okay! Question 1. What type of animal is Dory in the movie Finding Nemo? Is it A. Fish B. Dinosaur C. Penguin or D. Toaster Oven

The crowd snicker

JESS finds the question more embarrassing than humorous

JESS

Uh.. A.

MR. BLAIR

That is.. correct!

The two seats raise one level of the stairs JESS let's out a bit of excitement in her face

MR. BLAIR (CONT'D)

Okay! Let's keep this ball rolling! Question 2 - What major key contains only white notes on the piano?

Is it A. A B. B C. C or D.D

The audience giggles, JESS does everything but roll her eyes

JESS

Lock in C please

MR. BLAIR

..Correct again!

They raise one more level

She's excited and smiles for the first time since PAUL died

INT. PAUL BLAIR'S MILLIONAIRE STAIRS SET - LATER

JESS is glowing as she and BLAIR are on the 20th out of 25 steps

She's genuinely enjoying herself

MR. BLAIR

You are flying through these questions! Are you ready for number 20?

JESS nods enthusiastically and nervously, like a ball of energy wanting to let loose, only held on by the laws of shame

MR. BLAIR (CONT'D) Okay! QUESTION 20

(Dramatic Beat)

What is the largest island in the world? Is it: A. Australia, B. Borneo, C. Greenland or D. Madagascar?

JESS relaxes a little, she knows this one

JESS

Lock in, A, Australia

PAUL

Are you sure you want to lock that in?

JESS nods with a little pride and a lot of ego JESS

Yep

JESS' answer is registered. A moment passes

PAUL

(sighs)

I'm sorry, The answer was C. Greenland.

JESS gets hit by a monsoon of 'what the fucks'. Each one highly visible on her face

BLAIR, unaware of the visible meltdown on her face keeps reading his card

PAUL (CONT'D)

Although Australia is indeed larger, it is considered a continent and not an island

JESS

What?

BLAIR

Well done on getting this far, I'm glad to say you do win 1000 dollars!

The audience cheers, JESS deadpans BLAIR

JESS

What do you mean? A is right. I know that, can you just check with the upstairs, y'know, the upstairs people? You clearly got this wrong, Australia is an island.

BLAIR

... I'm sorry but no, you were incorrect. I can confirm that the answer was Greenland

JESS

That's not possible! I KNOW the answer! Please just call the upstair man. Just do it

BLAIR

Jess, I'm sorry but you have to -

JESS

I don't need to do anything! This is fucking bullshit! I know I'm right! Check it.

BLAIR looks around, he's nervous

Cut to BELINDA, she's scrambling, she signals security

Back to JESS now standing on the 20th step as BLAIR can't hide how uncomfortable he is

JESS (CONT'D) ASK AGAIN!!!

JESS spots the security climbing up the stairs

JESS (CONT'D)

Oh I get it, you got me here to embarrass me, to screw with me. Make me look crazy! YEAH, THE CRAZY WIDOW WILL MAKE GREAT TV. THAT'S RIGHT, MY HUSBANDS DEAD, YOU HID THAT REAL WELL DIDNT YA YOU BASTARD

She rants over a defeated BLAIR

JESS (CONT'D)

(mocking)

Ohh I bet if we tell her Australia's not a FUCKING ISLAND then she'll snap

(screaming)

Well are ya HAPPY?! HERE I AM! LITTLE MS. FUCKING CRAZY! LOOK AT ME DOING THE CRAZY DANCE

JESS, truly lost it starts jumping up and down, the security grab her

Cut to JESS' mother, she turns to RON and makes a gesture. He covers her eyes with his fan in front of her face

Back to JESS being escorted down the stairs, she spots BELINDA as the crowd is stunned silent

JESS (CONT'D)

FUCK YOU BELINDA! I knew people weren't just nice. FUCK YOU, I hope you got your ratings.

BELINDA just stares blankly, not sure what to do

JESS continues to scream nonsensical as she gets removed

INT. JESS' HOUSE - KITCHEN

JESS, more composed than when we last saw her but definitely not calm is frantically typing away on her keyboard

Her mother enters JESS' house and calls out

SAMANTHA (O.S)

Jess? Are you okay sweetie, are you still having a breakdown?

JESS

No. I'm just angry that my mother walks in my house, unannounced.

Her mother walks in the kitchen, JESS seems annoyed. Eventually she notices SAMANTHA is holding a leash attached to a tiger

Frustration mixes in with fear as she stares at the animal

JESS (CONT'D)

(At the tiger) What the fuck mum?

SAMANTHA

Is that how you greet your mother now?

JESS

What the hell are you doing with that?

SAMANTHA

'That' is Shakira, and how many times have I told you I wanted a tiger?

JESS

I've literally never heard you say that

SAMANTHA

Just goes to show you never listen to me..

She ties SHAKIRA's leash around JESS' couch nonchalantly as JESS remains outraged

SAMANTHA (CONT'D)

(looking at Jess' laptop) What are you doing?

JESS' outrage fades as she becomes defensive JESS

Nothing.

Her mother walks around and looks at her laptop, JESS switches back to outraged

JESS (CONT'D)

Jesus! What if I was watching porn?

SAMANTHA

I'd be happy. That would mean you're moving on

SAMANTHA continues to read as JESS tries to hide her laptop in vain, she has too many windows open to close them

SAMANTHA sees "What's the largest island in the world?" on Google

SAMANTHA (CONT'D)

Oh Jess.. I thought this was a one time breakdown. Is it still happening?

JESS

I know I’m right! I just need to find the right answer but Google..k keeps lying to me!!

SAMANTHA

Oh Jess, this is getting silly don’t you think

JESS

Says the one with the tiger!!

She calms her self a bit

JESS (CONT'D)

Australia is an island, i KNOW that

SAMANTHA

I know it as a continent, just like Mr. Blair said. And just like Google is saying right now

(pointing at screen)

See? Greenland. Biggest island.

JESS ignores and keeps googling

SAMANTHA (CONT'D)

Remember? People always say Australia is a 1 country continent?

JESS

No! I remember, we are a part of a continent called Australasia.. or oceania.. or something like that!

SAMANTHA

(judging)

Australasia? Really Jess? At least be creative if you're going to try and convince yourself.

JESS

I swear!! I remember I was watching a show with Paul and -

SAMANTHA

Oh jesus! Paul again? What is this? The not letting things go fan club or something?

JESS

Your burns suck mum.

SAMANTHA

I mean, look around! You still have Paul's stuff everywhere. You're better than this Jess

JESS

Better than what?

SAMANTHA

Losing yourself over someone who wasn’t even right for you

JESS

Fuck you Mum.

SAMANTHA

Excuse me?

JESS

FUCK YOU you were never on my side

SAMANTHA

That’s all I have ever been.

JESS

If you were on my side you would have loved Paul!

SAMANTHA

How is that the defining cause? Loving someone that wasn't right for you?

I’ve been on your side when you haven’t even been on your own!

JESS

Get out

SAMANTHA

Samantha, we just need to ca-

JESS

Mum, get the fuck out of my house

SAMANTHA

Shakira has just sat down, do you really want me to wake up a tiger, Jess? Isn’t that just a little reckless?

JESS

GET THE FUCK OUT!!!

SAMANTHA finally reads the room, collects the tiger and heads to the door, just before she leaves the kitchen, she turns to JESS

SAMANTHA

I’m glad he’s dead, he was an asshole.

She leaves, JESS holds it in until she hears the door close. Immediately after, she begins to break down, crying before letting out an agonising scream

She lets herself suffer for a moment before regathering enough to pick her laptop back up, still sobbing

She types in Google "Can Google lie to me"

She reads for a bit, gives up and closes her laptop. She peers over her shoulder defeated.

After a moment, JESS notices PAUL's book "So You Think You Can Travel Dimensions?" she looks at it for a moment

Thinking Thinking

She looks around before opening her computer again as if embarrassed about what she is about to search

She begins typing

INT. JESS' BEDROOM - LATER

A scan up from the foot of JESS' bed with notes and a lot of nonsense with some readable phrases seen "How do you travel between dimensions? = ...", "Am I me??" and "Australia isn't an island = I AM IN ANOTHER DIMENSION??"

We continue to scan through this mess as we reach JESS sitting up, head slouched as she tries to stay awake, her glasses are half hanging off and the highlighter in her mouth drops as she loses her battle against sleep.

EXT. DREAM FIRST PERSON:

JESS finds herself in a pitch black room, she keeps looking around but sees nothing

A purple flash lights up the place, showing that the room has no end

JESS turns and sees a cloudy formation of purple that keeps disappearing, sometimes a face is recognizable, not a human one but not scary either.

It's voice continuously changes pitches and volume as if in a bad internet connection

CLOUD

Continue rising higher, and you will find it

JESS stays silent, she looks down and feels for her lips, she visibly tries to talk but can’t

INT. JESS' BEDROOM

JESS wakes up, dazed and confused - she scrambles to grab her notes and write down the words "CONTINUE RISING HIGHER"

Zoom into these notes as we..

CUT TO:

INT. JESS' HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

Another set of notes, this time on a phone is shown: "WHAT TO DO WITH MONEY"

Followed by a long list of random items

We zoom out and see PAUL lying on a couch using his phone, head resting on JESS' legs as she is sat up, half-watching a movie.

On the TV a cartoon duck is talking to a monkey psychiatrist

JESS

(rubbing Paul's hair) Are you nervous for the show tomorrow?

PAUL

iiiiincredibly, yes

JESS

I’m sure you’ll do great. Wow, imagine if you won, can a family have that much luck in like, what?

2 weeks?

PAUL

Your mum better not have taken my luck! I'm blaming her if I lose

JESS

You won't lose. You'll smash it. But when you do, please don’t be like mum..

PAUL

Gotten worse?

JESS

Yeah. She bought a freakin tiger today!

PAUL

That's so stupid.

JESS

RIGHT!

He scrolls through his list and deletes "Tiger", he pauses a moment then writes "Lion??" instead

While he's doing this JESS laughs at the TV, PAUL turns around nonchalantly before looking really confused

PAUL

Wait, what the hell?

He stares at the TV, on it the duck is now hugging the monkey psych

What?

JESS

PAUL

Is this a director's cut or something?

Nah, why?

JESS

PAUL

Coz.. what do you mean! That duck is usually wearing a cowboy hat!

JESS

(Laughs)

What? I’ve never seen that before

PAUL flips over to face JESS

He gets up

PAUL WHAT DO YOU MEEEEAN

PAUL (CONT'D)

He is always wearing a hat! That's his thing!

He looks back at the TV

PAUL (CONT'D)

He looks so different.. What! How are you not seeing this!

JESS

We've seen this movie soooo many times. How could you possibly have seen him wearing a cowboy hat all this time?

PAUL

EXACTLY!!

He grabs his phone and starts searching while JESS is laughing

PAUL (CONT'D)

(While Searching)

It's Dr. Bonobo and Sherriff Quackers! Why else would it be called The Lewd, the Quack and the snugly?

Silence from JESS, she's just enjoying the breakdown

PAUL (CONT'D)

(looks up in response to the silence)

Coz it's a pun of a western movie! COZ HE'S A SHERRIF

He looks back down and madly types

JESS

Maybe this is a bit of a forced distraction for tomorrow, stressie Mcgee?

PAUL ignores her as he frantically Googles everything about the movie, nothing that comes up supports his claims

He looks up to JESS

Zoom in to his eye twitching

PAUL

Google. Is lying to me..

CREDITS