Wait, what was that book about again?

The other day, I asked my wife and a few of our book-loving friends a simple question:

“What’s the best book you’ve read in the last month — and can you tell me what it was about?”

You’d think I’d asked them to describe how electricity works using nothing but interpretive dance. The room fell silent. Eyes darted. A couple of them scratched their heads in the universal gesture of “oh no, what was that book even about?”

It was oddly fascinating. These are people who read multiple books a month. They devour pages like snacks — smart, insightful people with well-worn library cards and bookshelves that buckle under the weight of literary ambition. Yet when I asked them to share a summary — just one! — of the best book from the last month, most of them came up blank.

So, naturally, my brain took off on its own tangent.

Why is it that we read so much… but often remember so little?

Was the book they read not actually good? Or are we just reading without thinking?

It’s Not About the Book

Let’s give the books the benefit of the doubt. Most of the time, the problem isn’t the quality of the story. In fact, many were highly rated, bestselling novels or recommended by trusted sources. So what’s going on?

The answer might lie not in what we read, but in how we read.

1. We Read to Escape, Not to Retain

In our screen-soaked world, reading a novel feels noble — almost rebellious. It’s a pocket of calm, a mental vacation. But like vacations, the memory fades unless something dramatic happened (like a sunburn or a stolen wallet).

When we read to relax, we’re not always engaging deeply. We’re swimming on the surface of the story — and that’s okay. But it also means the story might fade just as fast as it came.

2. Passive vs. Active Reading

There’s a big difference between reading and absorbing. Some readers highlight, take notes, or pause to think. Others turn pages with the same momentum they scroll through TikTok — eyes moving, mind drifting.

Passive reading is like listening to a lecture half-asleep. The words go in, but not much sticks.

3. Book Bingeing Blurs the Lines

When we read three or four books back-to-back, the lines between them blur. Characters blend. Plot twists lose their punch. If the books share a genre or tone, it’s even harder to recall what came from where.

It’s like eating five different types of soup in one sitting. You enjoyed them, sure — but don’t ask for a recipe.

4. Emotional Resonance = Memory

We remember books that grab us by the collar — emotionally, intellectually, or both. If a story echoes something personal, we’re more likely to keep it with us. But if it’s just “a nice read,” it might vanish faster than a polite dinner conversation.

5. Reading with Intention Changes Everything

Now, I’ll admit something. I don’t read a lot of fiction. But when I do, I clear the runway. I reflect as I go. I pause. I let the story simmer. I want to learn something — even if it’s just about how to tell a better story.

It’s the same with nonfiction, which I read much more often — especially books on writing and storytelling. I read to wrestle with ideas, to connect dots, to shape new perspectives. That kind of reading doesn’t leave quickly.

So… Is Forgetting Bad?

Honestly? Not necessarily.

We forget a lot of what we experience. That doesn’t mean it didn’t shape us. Maybe we don’t remember the plot twist — but we carry the feeling it gave us. The voice. The insight. The quiet shift.

Maybe that’s enough.

Or maybe we just need to slow down, read fewer books, and let them sit with us a little longer. Treat them less like fast food and more like a meal with wine, conversation, and candlelight.

And If All Else Fails…

Just nod confidently and say, “Oh, I reread Anna Karenina this month.” No one will question you, and you’ll sound terribly well-read.