advice
Dating, married, single, divorced, and more. Advice on the relationships you have in life. Dear, Humans..
Life Lessons From Broken Long-Term Relationships in Your 20s
The end of a long term relationship is a lot like raising a child; it's frustrating, can often be loud and demeaning, and you're usually left in a puddle of a mess without any rhyme or reason as to how you ever possibly convinced yourself that any of this was a good idea to begin with. But the end of a long term relationship, specifically in your 20s, can be even more frustrating and full of hate; you're young and inexperienced, broken, and with no idea how to be single. There are countless amounts of articles and blog posts online that could give you everything you need to know about working through your breakup: from how to get over your ex, to things you should never do after a break up, to websites that weasel single people straight into them dirty porn advertisements. And while we comb through these patronizing methods of online dating and meet-up sites to try to sort out what feelings we have left, I have found that there isn't really a place that showcases the true terror of what it feels like to have half of your soul torn out of your body, tendrils of your insides spilling out of your eyes, and your nostrils in big, messy globs. One would think that helpful breakup advice could potentially render a person quite wealthy beyond measure...unfortunately, I don't really have any of that. In fact, I'm quite uncertain anyone really has any at all, and it's most likely because it all comes down to being really sad for a while before the countless masturbation sessions just end up boring you and you wander off again in search of your next future soulmate/ex. With all that being said, cleaving off the end of a long term relationship during that moment in your life when serious adulthood is just within finger's reach, all while you're still standing knee-deep in the goop-y, green sludge that is your youth can be a great teaching moment. Therefore, I present to you: the lessons I have learned from surviving single life in my 20s. Enjoy my pain.
By Delilah Jayde8 years ago in Humans
The Side Chick Chit Chat
The media has perpetuated and profited off of the reign of the "side chick." When it comes to the nature of infidelity in modern day relationships, it really brings in the big bucks. Television programs like V?H1's Love and Hip Hop display men and women glamorize the life of their little piece on the side. While those sensationalized narratives exist on reality TV, they do not always play out that way in the real world.
By Alyssa Wilson8 years ago in Humans
After Being Cheated On...
There are two ways you can decide to go after you are cheated on. You can either move on and find someone else, or you can stay with that man and try to forget. I decided to stay and try to fix the relationship. That decision was a hard one to make, and it wasn’t a decision most people would make.
By Leah Charles8 years ago in Humans
Goodbye Negative Nancy's, Hello Positive Pasta's
Have you ever been so happy about something going on in your life that you just want to announce it to everyone you know? You are hoping that they will help you celebrate your accomplishment, but after you let them know of your successes, you’re saddened to find out that they are not as happy as you are for yourself. They may even start to put you down for being so happy, and you may start to feel judged. This can be exhausting, and more times than not, hurtful.
By Dominique Strong8 years ago in Humans
Getting Out of an Abusive Relationship
There are millions of abusive relationships out there. They can be slightly abusive, where he/she will make remarks that hurt your feelings constantly, or they can be full-fledged physical abuse. This does not make it any less or more hurtful. It isn't a competition of who is more abused, but I have seen many people denounce others for crying "abuse" over small remarks. If you are not happy and feel trapped, then you have every right to get out of that toxic relationship.
By Tsukiko Celeste8 years ago in Humans
Preemptive Denunciation
Preemptive Denunciation It's one thing to be suspicious, we all are. If you're suspicious of another person for example: you're in a relationship and you suspect your spouse is having an emotional affair with someone and secretly talking to another person via text on their cellphone. Now let's say you maybe bring it up and your spouse assures you there's nothing to worry about and they've never given you a reason to be suspicious, yet you are still suspicious; with that being said, you should automatically come to the conclusion that there is no reason to go through your spouse's phone because there's no physical evidence to go off of. Now let's say you go against that reasoning and you do it anyway, you pick up your spouse's phone while they're taking a shower or sleeping. The action of picking up your spouse's phone in itself is doubt. You've doubted your spouse. Now let's say you find nothing, you may think, okay I'm no longer insecure, I won't do that again. What if you do find your spouse is having an emotional affair or flirting with someone via text or over some social media platform yet no proof of a physical affair? Does that mean you have the right to assume they are having a physical affair when they are away from you with this other person? Or that dismisses the action of going through your spouse's cell phone? You may think that just because your suspicion was correct, it is justified to assume a physical affair in the present is taking place, after all, they told you there was nothing to worry about, yet you've found a form of evidence that suggests the direct opposite. Yet still, what gives you the right to invade someone's privacy? Who is more in the wrong? Now let's say you catch your spouse in the act of having an affair in person, then you demand their phone, you go through it and find flirtatious content between your spouse and this other person. In which scenario is it more justified to go through your spouse's phone? Under the first scenario, acting on a suspicion and discovering flirtatious content, you confronted your spouse, and your spouse asks, "You went through my phone? Yes there's flirtatious content between myself and this other person, but did you look at the time and date of this conversation? This was way before you and I were in a relationship. I no longer talk to that person." To that response, you suddenly feel dumb, and you've damaged your relationship by doubting your significant other. Your spouse will always feel that no matter what, despite whatever reason you were led to believe he/she were up to something, you had doubt, which reflects how much you respect them. Now let's say you suspect a loved one of a narcotics addiction, you ask your loved one and they deny it, but you break into their room anyway and go through their things. You find paraphernalia but no drugs, no substance. It's common to assume they are using in the present, but just because you found paraphernalia, does not mean your loved one is in fact using in present time. Maybe they did at one point in time, but are no longer are using. It'd be one thing if your loved one admitted they are currently using, or you walked in on your loved one while engaging in the act of consuming narcotics. It's another thing to assume that just because paraphernalia is present amongst their possessions, that they are in fact using. Unless you discover a substance or catch them in the act, the assumption you've made based off paraphernalia is not concrete, regardless of however much likely it is that your loved one is currently using. Once again, you've doubted this person, not only invading his/her privacy, but now damaging your relationship and forever changing this person's perception of you. Considering the circumstances surrounding this person's life as a cause for a loved one's behavior is almost too simplistic and boring. Why is it in our nature to always assume the worst and become oblivious to rational or logical thinking and instead choose to emphasize on something so insignificant without concrete evidence? To stress the point of this writing, it is wise to think before you act or draw a conclusion. Not everything is what it seems.
By Gabriel Garcia8 years ago in Humans
