advice

Dating, married, single, divorced, and more. Advice on the relationships you have in life. Dear, Humans..

The Memoir of a Pre-Teen
(DISCLAIMER): everything I write comes straight from my opinion and my point of view. Hello, my name is Audrey and, as you would expect from the title, I am a preteen and I hate it. It’s not exactly the definition of hell, but it sure is not something I look forward to day after day.
By Audrey Madden7 years ago in Humans
Leaving an Abusive Relationship
Have you ever felt unwanted, unsafe, or unloved in your relationship? You shouldn't. Domestic abuse can be hard to recognize, and even harder to get away from. People don't tell you what to do when your significant other lashes out at you emotionally, or makes you feel bad about yourself. As someone who went through domestic abuse for almost four years, I feel the need now to be an advocate for those still caught in it. Domestic abuse does NOT have to be physical abuse. Just because they don't harm your body, doesn't mean they aren't harming your psyche. The first step in getting out of an unhealthy relationship, is to recognize that you're in one. Are they angry a lot? Take their emotions out on you? Do they try to convince you everything is your fault? Do you feel unsafe physically, or scared to speak your mind to them? Are they cold/uncaring about your feelings? Lying? Cheating? If yes, you're probably in one. The second step is to tell someone. A friend, co-worker, family, anyone you feel comfortable talking to. Support is going to be critical to leave the situation. A lot of domestic abuse victims find that their partner tended to isolate them from friends and family, so they would feel that their partner is the only support they have. Once you've established support, it's time for step three; leave. If you feel safe to do so, tell your partner in person calmly that you want to end the relationship. Stand your ground. They CANNOT force you to stay in said relationship. If you live together, a smart idea would be to have a bag packed with essentials in your car/friend's/family's/co-workers car and find a place to stay before initiating the break up. Do not argue with them, and if at any point you feel unsafe, call the police, or leave the premises. If you do not feel safe doing this in person, use the technology at your disposal. Yeah, a breakup text sucks, but it sucks much less than being physically or emotionally battered. Step four: Do NOT contact them. They will likely be blowing you up with "I'm sorry," "I can change," and other pleads like that. Do not give in. You may love someone, but that does not mean you should be together. Turn off your phone if you have to. If you work in a public area, inform your supervisor of the situation so precautions can be taken to keep them away from you. Step five: Heal. Domestic abuse can take a huge toll, both body and psyche. It will take time. Always remember that it is NOT your fault. You did not ask for it, or deserve it. Their issues are just that; THEIRS. Not yours. If you live together, find a place to stay temporarily, and make sure when you return to the shared living space you are not alone, and if possible, your ex-partner is not present. And lastly, step six: Move on. You deserve love, happiness, and a good life. You do not deserve to be abused or mistreated.
By Becca M7 years ago in Humans
5 Tips on How to Keep Your Partner Happy
1. Go on Monthly Dates If you plan on being in a long-term relationship, chances are you’ll fall into a routine and you’ll start to feel like your heart has no other opportunity to fall deeper in love. However, a tip that can certainly help remind you of your romantic connection with your girlfriend/boyfriend/etc. is to take them out on monthly dates, preferably on a specific date for each month. (An example being: taking your loved one out on the 10th of each month.)
By Lexi Cowie7 years ago in Humans
Love Isn't Dead
Did love die in this year? It sure feels like it. I'm not just talking about the celebrity splits, let's be honest, we saw a lot of those coming. I'm talking about my loved ones. For the entirety of 2018, I've seen more of my friends go through break-ups and heartache than ever before. Couples I genuinely thought would go the distance have called it quits, and more often than not, one partner is completely blindsided in the process.
By Madison Elliott7 years ago in Humans
To the Girl Who Can't Let Go...
“One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy.” -Mareez Reyes
By M F7 years ago in Humans
The Art of Dating: Paris vs. New York
When it comes to dating, Paris and New York are like two famous men: both come with reputations that precede them. On one side of the Atlantic we have have the elitist Frenchmen, self-proclaimed ardent lovers who, paradoxically, reject the entire concept of “dating” as a restricting endeavor where romance goes to die.
By Dbag Dating7 years ago in Humans
Russian Dating Myths Debunked
When I was 11-years-old, I went on an exchange program in a French city called Nîmes. On my first night there, a boy named Arnaud confronted me with two pressing questions—Did we have electricity, and did bears roam the streets of my native Saint-Petersburg? (And so began my rapport with French men...)
By Dbag Dating7 years ago in Humans
Marriage Life
After the wedding ceremony and honeymoon, you go back to your job and life as normal. But everything has changed and now you're married and you have people call you Mrs. Then you look down at your finger and realize you were't dreaming.
By d o7 years ago in Humans
Changing Your Friends
I've been wanting to express my feelings on this subject for a while, specifically regarding issues with people my age, anywhere from 25-30, going through this phase where everyone is changing, growing up, and starting to feel tension as differences between friends arise. We all grow up, change and start to need different things from our friends. More contact, less contact, more understanding. The thing is, without us telling people what we want or need from them, they are never going to give it to us. Even then, we have to recognize that not everyone has the experience to develop new relationship skills no matter how old we get, and some people might not be able to give us what we need at all.
By Hannah B7 years ago in Humans
Toxic Relationships
Not everyone has had toxic relationships with close family members. Some people are lucky and have lovely supportive parents, even if they are divorced. I am one of those unlucky women, with a history of toxicity, a pattern I have tried my whole life to break. It would seem easy to do, but the domestic violence psychology I learned as a teenager has held true: victims are more likely to find themselves re-victimized.
By Lady Sunday7 years ago in Humans
Equity Theory and the Maintenance of Relationships
As I reach the halfway point of my third year at university and what is the final year for the majority of my uni friends (sad face) the daunting notion that I'm going to no longer be around people I care about haunts me weekly. I've been thinking a lot lately about what my life back at roho will be like without my squad and how to find ways to bring us all together once in a while but also how to stay in touch with the friends I've made here in France. The idea of not being around people I've been hanging out with every day for the past three months and also the possibility that we might not stay in touch and never see eachother again really makes me wonder, how do people maintain lifelong relationships?
By Maria Paolini-Covarrubia7 years ago in Humans
Communication Is Key
There comes a point in every relationship where trouble is inevitable. Problems arise, you feel stressed, and you both have different plans for your future, whether it be school or work, or any other contributing factors. You argue, stress yourselves, and say things you can never take back with a simple "I'm sorry." I've written this article to help you get a different perspective on what's going on with you and your significant other, and how to change that through types of communication.
By Nikolas Martin7 years ago in Humans