advice
Dating, married, single, divorced, and more. Advice on the relationships you have in life. Dear, Humans..
The Nerve
Without getting into the tedious details of what this story could possibly be about, let's just say for those out there going through a toxic relationship...drop it if you haven't done so already. Little background, 2015 I started talking to a guy who will remain unnamed. Fast forward five years later and once again broken up with the same dude. Keep in mind this guy has cheated, lied, never put the effort in like I did and was just selfish. (Cancers, gotta love em) But anyways moving on, throughout these five years, I've lost friends, my health declined, I was mentally, emotionally, and physically drained to the point where I found myself only thinking about him. The true nature of the issue was my codependency that we both shared with one another, throughout the years we had both grown to love each other but it was clear that I was repeating a vicious cycle of toxicity that had been in my life since I was born. This man was someone I looked to in order to escape my own issues and he knew it. While he had his own life problems we still decided to stay together and work it out, even after the cheating and lying. (yeah...I know) So after two chances I finally decided to give him a final chance and to my surprise things were perfect, I was in love with this person as was he. But as our relationship goes, theres always something to come and ruin it. Now fast forward to February 2020, things were perfect we were going on dates, minimal arguing, we talked about the future. Then suddenly no word from him, a day later I get told that someone had told him all the people that I had been seeing while we were BROKEN UP! Now all I can do is laugh because even though I may not have been completely honest about what I had done, I told him the basics not details and kept it moving. Keep in mind this man had been lying to me a majority of the relationship so him trying to right his wrongs recently yeah was a great first step but was something he should've done before. Anywho, now I'm in the hot seat, telling him I never cheated even though I was talking to a guy about an issue I had in my relationship, it was never flirting or cheating, just a conversation. I found myself trying to fight and keep the relationship together even after his low blows and disrespect, until I thought. "WOW, the fucking audacity." This man really put me through hell and back and the first thing he hears about me I get this shit. The mere thought of me cheating or even talking to a guy was enough to "hurt" him and his ego. PFT not so fun when it's done back to someone who's toxic ways define who they are. So fast forward a week later and a few texts here and there, needless to say girl/boy/whatever you identify as, DROP THEM. It's not worth the stress, tears, and missed happy moments, misery loves company. Don't make yourself so accessible, summer 2020 is coming glow up, travel, go out and DO YOU cause I guarantee you they're not thinking about you sis. And for those who are in that post breakup phase, DO NOT text them, this is your sign, if they really cared they'd hit you up. There's a saying my grandma always told me in Spanish so I'll translate, (El que to quiere to busca) meaning the one that really loves you will look for YOU. Oh and if you're the toxic one in the relationship...just stay single thanks.
By Kiara Ramos6 years ago in Humans
Choose Your Status X, Y, Z
Society as a whole tells us to marry and be happy. Books of old have said to be fruitful and become many and fill the earth. It also alludes to those who can make room for singleness to do so and they will prosper. So, what is the better of the two choices? Each must choose for themselves what path they shall take and only each individual can know for sure what is best for them. Each path has its own rewards and no one can walk each path simultaneously. Some marry, some stay single, some are in committed relationships without the labels and others just give up on the whole ordeal.
By Amber Gant6 years ago in Humans
The Top Things You Can do to Make Someone Feel Good
Making people feel good is like a compulsion for a lot of us. We have this urge to see to it that people we care for and even random strangers are happy and content all the time. Such selfless care for others is so heart-warming and it really does help you to feel better about the world.
By Maria Andreas6 years ago in Humans
Don't Play Hard To Get
There are those who think being a hard to get person is attractive. But the problem is, that only works as a first time solution or just hard core foreplay. Playing hard to get while trying to attract a sexual partner or a life long marriage partner is not all it is cracked up to be.
By Heather Wilkins6 years ago in Humans
Forgiveness Unraveled
Forgiveness unraveled is a pretty simple concept, if we dare to take ourselves out of the equation. Too many times in life we share responsibility or we place blame on our own actions to help push forgiveness along. Fortunately, forgiveness comes with a mindset that actually releases and delivers someone from his/her part. Remember, happiness has to come from within. In order to truly forgive someone, you absolutely have to release the person from his/her responsibility to make you happy. It is not anyone else’s duty to make you happy regardless of the level of commitment placed on your relationship. Each of us has a personal obligation to seek our individual purpose on this earth. In most cases, it involves a life long journey made up of a daily search for hope and inner peace. When we choose to share our individual journeys with someone else, we open the door to hurt, to let downs and to disappointments- or what I love to call "Empty Promises". Especially when we are counting on another human being to make us happy. Can we experience joy, happiness and a life of commitment? Of course we can if we learn to take others out of that equation and remember that when people wrong us, forgiveness becomes a genuine part of life. Forgiveness does not mean we have to remain in a situation that is hurtful or not benefiting us. It means that we are responsible for our happiness each and everyday! Forgiveness is the key to releasing your own negative energy and replenishing the positive vibes that you keep your spirits high!
By Peerless Recordings6 years ago in Humans
From Retribution to Forgiveness
Anyone familiar with heartbreak can agree that once trust is broken, it’s hard to forgive. As part of my journey to have better mental health, I’ve learned that people respond to trauma in different ways. Yet is it accurate to claim that people can only have one initial response towards a certain individual’s actions or a particular situation? While it’s common sense to know change is inevitable, many of us fail to accept or acknowledge a person’s changed behavior. For many of us to overlook the damage done we require people to adjust their demeanor accordingly. But what if we don’t physically have to see change in order to turn the other cheek? This isn’t to command anyone to forgive and condemn anyone who doesn’t. I would simply just like to raise awareness for healthy responses to emotional distress.
By Mental Health Stripes 6 years ago in Humans
Should You Find a Friend with Benefits?
Not every single person out there is looking for a committed relationship. Maybe he/she just went through a brutal divorce or breakup. Maybe their heart is so broken that they need to give themselves time to heal. While the reasons may vary, our basic human needs remain the same. We all crave human interactions, touch and pleasure. Studies have shown that babies grow faster and are healthier when they are cuddled.
By Heart Centered Universe6 years ago in Humans
GENUINE BODY LANGUAGE SIGNS HE SECRETLY LIKES YOU.
I bet you were all once interested in body language signs of a man who shows he loves you secretly, right? If a man finds you attractive, you expect a man to say this directly to you or to show it directly to you. The least you foresee is that he will ask you.
By Lena Jhonson6 years ago in Humans
Five Perfect and Unique Gifts for the Person Who Has Everything
Is Christmas or a loved one's birthday coming up and you're drawing a blank on the perfect gift? Finding something for a friend or family member can be a challenge if you feel like they already have everything. If you need a few unique ideas, here are five perfect gifts for the person in your life who has it all.
By Carlos Fox6 years ago in Humans
Knowing When To Let It Go
Easier sang than done, learning to “let it go” is something that many people never completely figure out. The burden of holding on is almost as painful as the emotions that undoubtedly come with the release; and even if you end up liberated, the freedom is bittersweet. The truth is this: the more you invest of yourself into something that doesn’t serve you, whether that is a friendship, a partnership, relationship, or occupation, the more you weigh yourself down. You worry about the impact letting go will have on your life and theirs, along with the influence the decision will have on everyone and everything around you.
By Valerie Taylor6 years ago in Humans
For the Ones Who are "Too Much"
Let’s start this off by stating the obvious: You are a strong bitch. I do not give a fuck what anyone else says. You are alive and you are strong. No one - absolutely fucking no one - who knows your story can say anything differently. You went through what people have nightmares. But you didn’t get to wake up to make them stop. You grew up around people who had no idea what it felt like. And you were surrounded by people who all had an opinion on how you should be handling it, with none of them being how you were. You are allowed to feel things! The people that love you, really love you, will stay even when you are sad. If you being sad is too much for someone, let them leave. It is not worth it to make yourself smaller just so they can be comfortable. You should not have to pretend you are not hurting because you’re scared of how they will feel. And no matter what they say, they would not handle it better than you. That’s the thing; the people who tell you they’d handle your trauma better than you, are the people who have the privilege of never going through your trauma. They have absolutely no idea how it feels, and I promise if they did, it would hurt them just as bad as it hurt you.
By Stormy Robertson6 years ago in Humans
