Rosemary:

Rosemary was a friend of mine, just as spicy as her name. She was an Arab American woman,beautiful for any age..stunning salt and pepper hair and sparkling eyes. Mother of five and grandmother to ten, and she played a special role in each of their lives.Still in great shape, standing proud at 5’2”. Always smiling and always helping someone. Her motto was if you can help the community then do something .Friend to the entire community. Sharp minded, quick witted and always sharing her organizing and health ideas, she had better ways to do everything. She taught her grandkids what loyalty and family were all about, and put them to work so they felt capable. She held them accountable and lifted them up.She was always volunteering at their schools. She juiced her own vegetables, had wheatgrass growing in her fridge,juiced her own,and ate fresh organic food. She lifted weights and worked out three days a week. She got massages a few days a week and did her stretches and took her walks. She even tried the trampoline with her grandkids once and broke her ankle, she was just trying to drain her lymphatics.She kept going. Exercise and a great attitude and a smile and determination to live a positive life. All this is true and it’s also true she had cancer. And still no complaining. She tried to beat it. But it kept coming back.she had what they call the BRCA2 gene, it makes it very hard to escape cancer sometimes. I’m a massage therapist,I massaged her a few times a week at times,and she would tell me great pieces of advice, like how to get out of debt and how to love myself more. And I listened to her a lot. She was very strict with me and forced me to get out of debt. She stayed organized and taught me a lot about getting right to the point. No grey areas. Just get the job done. She was dying but she always wanted to know how I was, and lived every day as if her life would continue on.She didn’t feel sorry for herself.She always wanted to make me feel special...even as she was leaving the Earth.She demanded that I respect myself. At least in her company. She never complained about the pain and discomfort she felt while dying. Before she passed, one month before, her amazing family had a surprise birthday party for her 80th,and all her family and friends came from all over to see her one last time. There were about 100 people there. She entered the room and was literally glowing! A truly gorgeous woman! The energy came straight from her heart and her entire being was emanating positivity! She laughed and had an amazing last birthday. It was beautiful to see several generations all together, all loving this amazing woman. Honoring such a wonderful life.

Towards the end I visited her in her California king bed, she didn’t speak much now. I gently rubbed her back where she had some pain. She said” thank you for always making me feel good.” She appreciated all the little things so much. I cried as I sat with her and she asked “ why are you crying?” I said “ because I just want you to get better now”. And she said as she gently smiled “ it’s ok, it’s really ok”. No anger or complaints. Just pure acceptance of the fact that this was it. Even though she had so much to offer everyone around her, even though she loved life more than most people do and appreciated the good and the bad times, even though she had a huge family she was leaving behind and a whole tribe of friends, and so much vibrant energy left in her body...she said it’s ok with complete acceptance and surrender. Not giving up or defeat. But pure understanding and acceptance and grace. The very last time I saw Rosemary was the day before she passed at home with her daughters by her side. I sat with her again. She couldn’t talk or so it seemed. The family was all there having dinner and taking shifts tending to her needs.Someone talked her into getting up out of bed and joining in the dinner. She got a burst of energy and grabbed her walker and rolled right out. She was in between worlds, seemed to see things we couldn’t see, but made sure to have one last dinner with the family. She held my hand and smiled the entire time. As I was leaving she managed to get some words out. She looked me in the eyes with sparkling light shining from her heart, and said “ are you coming back?” I said “ do you want me to?” She nodded yes. But I knew I wouldn’t make it back that day. I didn’t get to see her again. I hold a beautiful vision of her graceful acceptance and her gentle smile in my mind. That’s how she left the world. She left it a better place. She left the people in her life better humans. Never once did this woman complain. Every moment of life was like a gift to her. A gem. Nothing was taken for granted. She taught me many things. I have more self respect because of her. When I’m not doing the right thing, to this day I hear her voice tell me a better way. Or to have more self respect and love for myself. She taught me that getting older doesn’t mean you can’t embody beauty and happiness. She was both of those things. She was like a child in all the best ways.And she taught me that one person can make a difference in many peoples lives. She was always making a difference just by bringing positivity to each person she crossed paths with. She is a friend I’ll always remember and I still seek her advice to this day. She’s not really gone. I still hear what she would tell me if I asked for her advice. Her spirit is so strong it will always be alive. Rosemary is my angel. We weren’t family in this life but I know she is in my soul family and I will see her again.