Friendly Encounters

If your partner introduces you to his or her family, then it is probably only a matter of time until he or she introduces you to his or her friends. Meeting your partner’s friends might help you understand more about how your partner spent his or her time before you were there. You want to go into this situation with a polite and respectful attitude, and you want to make an effort to express interest in the lives of these new people. If you come off as standoffish, then you might make a bad first impression, and this might put your partner in an odd situation where he or she feels like he or she has to choose between you and his or her friends. You don’t want to do this to your partner, because it might strain the relationship that the two of you have. Think about it. Your partner has probably known his or her friends for way longer than he or she has known you, and if you come into the relationship already having issues with his or her friends, then your partner might decide to end your relationship due to you putting him or her in the position of having to choose between his or her friends and you.

So, when your partner decides to introduce you to his or her friends, be attentive. Do your best to memorize their names, and talk to each of them, so you know what they are interested in. Keep the conversation that you have with them about them. Try not to get into you and your partner’s relationship, because you want to make an effort to get to know them. The more that you know about your partner’s friends, the more that you might get to know about your partner. These are the people that your partner has been hanging out with, even before you existed in his or her life, so these are the people that have brought out different parts of your partner’s personality, and that might allow you to see more of the person that you are with.

If your partner ends up having an issue that you are trying to get to know his or her friends after inviting you to meet them, see this as a red flag. Obviously, if you are being super extra and complimenting his or her friends too much, your partner might have an issue, but if you are just asking his or her friends normal questions, so you can learn more about their interests and your partner gets mad, then this might be something that you need to take a mental note of. Some people act differently when they are around their friends. Some people will party and forget about their commitments and responsibilities when they are around these people. Do your best to analyze if your partner is one of these people. If he or she is, then you might want to reconsider if you want to be with a person like that. If he or she clearly isn’t this way, then you can move on to the next step of getting to know each other.

Also, remember that a person’s friends are there for him or her. Don’t complain about your partner to them, and don’t share sensitive pieces of your relationship with them. It is okay to have a relationship with your partner’s friends, but realize that if anything happens between the two of you, they might be put in a position where they have to choose sides. And if this situation occurs, they will most likely pick your partner’s side over yours. They have known him or her longer, and if they are your partner’s friends, then they have already bonded with that person.