Anaconda (2025) Review: A Meta Reboot That Can’t Decide What It Wants to Be

Anaconda

Directed by: Tom Gormican

Written by: Tom Gormican, Kevin Ettin

Starring: Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Thandiwe Newton, Steve Zahn, Daniela Melchior

Release Date: December 25, 2025

⭐ Rating: ★★☆☆☆ (2 out of 5)

Meta on Paper, Messy on Screen

Anaconda is one of those ideas that sounds perfect in a pitch meeting. A comedic, self-aware reboot of the 1997 cult favorite? Meta humor? A knowingly ridiculous tone? Jack Black and Paul Rudd as mismatched childhood dreamers? On paper, it’s a slam dunk.

In execution, Anaconda spends most of its runtime flailing around, occasionally stumbling into something funny but never finding a rhythm or a reason for being beyond the concept itself.

A Promising Setup with the Right Pieces

Jack Black stars as Doug, a deeply unfulfilled dreamer who describes his existence as a “B, B-plus life,” despite having a loving family and steady work as a wedding videographer. Doug’s dissatisfaction is tied to comparison—specifically with his childhood friend Griff (Paul Rudd), who left Ohio for Hollywood while Doug stayed behind.

Griff’s Hollywood dream didn’t exactly pan out. He works at Home Depot, lands blink-and-you’ll-miss-it background acting roles, and carries himself with the bravado of someone who refuses to admit defeat. When Griff returns home for Doug’s birthday, the old gang reunites: Claire (Thandiwe Newton), once an aspiring actress and now a lawyer, and Kenny (Steve Zahn), a well-meaning burnout.

This reunion sparks Griff’s big lie—and the movie’s central premise.

The Fake Reboot That Becomes Real

Griff claims he’s somehow acquired the rights to Anaconda through an absurd, half-baked story involving the original author’s widow. He pitches a low-budget remake: Griff and Claire star, Doug writes and directs, Kenny helps however he can, and they shoot it guerrilla-style in the Amazon.

Against all logic—and with significant encouragement from Doug’s wife, played by Ione Skye—the group heads off with little more than wedding video equipment and blind optimism.

Once in the jungle, things unravel fast. The hired snake is accidentally killed. The snake handler disappears. Their boat captain, Ana (Daniela Melchior), harbors dangerous secrets involving shadowy military pursuers. Then, inevitably, a real giant snake appears, people start getting eaten, and—worst of all for Griff—a legitimate Sony Pictures Anaconda reboot crew arrives, exposing his lie completely.

The Core Problem: Tone and Miscast Energy

The biggest issue with Anaconda is tone—and it starts with its leads.

Jack Black, who should be the movie’s manic engine, is oddly restrained, playing Doug mostly straight as a weary family man rediscovering a long-buried dream. That pushes Paul Rudd into the more exaggerated role, but Rudd lacks the explosive, unhinged energy needed to make the dynamic work.

It feels like both actors wanted to play against type, but the experiment backfires. Black’s natural chaos is bottled up, while Rudd’s Griff comes across less like a charismatic dreamer and more like a sad, delusional himbo. Scenes stall as both actors seem unsure which comic register to land in, waiting for a rhythm that never quite arrives.

A Movie That Never Finds Itself

Director and co-writer Tom Gormican compounds the problem. Anaconda can’t decide if it wants to be scary, funny, satirical, or affectionate toward its source material. The result is a tonal muddle—neither sharp enough to function as satire nor committed enough to work as outright comedy or creature feature.

You can almost feel the filmmakers hoping the movie would reveal itself during production. Instead, it plays like a $40-million-plus experiment that never settles on an identity, coasting on a clever premise without developing it into something cohesive or memorable.

Final Verdict

Anaconda has a solid idea, talented actors, and occasional flashes of wit, but it never pulls its elements into alignment. What should have been a tightly wound, self-aware comedy becomes a shapeless mix of half-formed jokes and misplaced performances.

In the end, this reboot doesn’t fail because the concept is bad—it fails because no one involved seems certain what kind of movie they’re making.