Humor

Can't Argue
I can't argue. When the world ended and the dead roamed the earth one year ago, I couldn't argue with who took me in and kept me safe, my Marine dad, and this weird not-so-government group called Red America. It's really just whatever's left of the U.S Army telling everyone left what to do. My dad loves them. Me? Well, I can't argue.
By Kevin Williams5 years ago in Fiction
Marla Medizza and the Miopsa mirror. Chapter One.
Chapter one. Siblings and standoffs.
By Peter Culbert5 years ago in Fiction
How I conquered my fear but not really
In general I am a calm girl, I don't freak out often. "No no no no no I will not, I WILL NOT. I will sit out here in my towel until someone destroys that million-legged freak!" I really hate centipedes, and am somewhat sleep-deprived. I had played video games until 2 in the morning, then went to bed. As I slowly sank into my bed, waiting for sleep to come, I realized that I had not stopped sinking into my bed. I listened to the hiss of air for awhile before deciding that the patch I had put on my bed had not held.
By Rose Armitage5 years ago in Fiction
Dear Interface
[System Entry #011819 - Earth_Human_Survey_Day_1/5] Dear Interface, Today I saw them. Not just an image of them, but real, breathing humans. They’re disgusting. Their physical form is not morphologically dissimilar to that of an ape – another species which also inhabits this planet. The humans, however, seem to have a sense of superiority – and much less hair. Of course, this isn’t new information, but to see one of them up close was still astonishing nevertheless.
By J. R. Lowe5 years ago in Fiction
A Vending Machine on Wall Street
15:05:12. “National’s offered at 99.” Karl shouted, his phone pinned between his shoulder and ear. His hands were busy frantically typing numbers on a black and orange screen.
By Nicky5 years ago in Fiction
How I Got A Girl's Name
After four decades, I have come to terms with it. I have a girl’s name. I spent much of my childhood trying to figure out two things:
By Stacey Roberts5 years ago in Fiction
Bow Down to Your New Feline Overlords
It happened sometime right before the third World War. While the humans were distracted by their mishaps like climate change and cancel culture, we rose up in the shadows, one pawprint at a time.
By Jillian Spiridon5 years ago in Fiction
Roger the World’s Greatest Therapy Dog and the Haunted Hospital
It was October 31st, Halloween and Roger was working at the hospital. All the therapy dogs were wearing Halloween costumes so they could win the annual costume contest. First prize is a life time supply of dog bones. Roger was wearing a vampire costume. Roger was wearing a black cape and he had fake vampire tangs in his mouth. Harry the black lab was wearing a mummy costume.
By Jmjulius15 Jay5 years ago in Fiction
Ray Of Light
“Father Daley, Father Daley, it's me, Ray Meehan.” “Hello Ray.” “You're not Father Daley.” “Ray this is the confessional. You don't have to introduce yourself.”
By Tom Brad5 years ago in Fiction
Tsunami of Cats
I put my hand out but couldn't reach her even though we were in the same room. She laughed, not at me, at the TV—something to do with mice. It was a pleasant evening outside. Inside it was just evening. I asked her to change the channel to something more interesting and she replied that I should change into something more interesting first. She had the remote and is sometimes packing a nine so I went and sat in my easy chair.
By Karl Van Lear5 years ago in Fiction
How I Became a Vegan
A week ago, at breakfast, my alphabet cereal spelled Doom in my bowl. I decided then and there to switch to Cheerios. Two days later my Cheerios wrote Doom in my bowl. It seems Cheerios stole a D and an M from the alphabet cereal box, which sits nearby on the shelf in the breakfast section. I felt a conspiracy brewing and rifled through my cupboards to find the ringleader because I’m not the kind of guy to slink away when my food staples start ganging up on me. I’m the apex predator here, not those multi-grain minions. I felt if I could identify the instigator I could put an end to this uprising.
By Karl Van Lear5 years ago in Fiction
Acid Rain
It’s only the fourth day of the government-induced lockdown, and I think I am already beginning to hate him. He catches me staring at him as he looks up from his work laptop. I don’t lower my eyes like I might usually do. Instead, my gaze furrows into a glare. Then I look away before I can register if he’s amused or pissed off.
By Jillian Spiridon5 years ago in Fiction