Humor

Duke's Gift
"Honey, I left a package on the back seat of the car last night, did you see it?" my husband called from our car in the garage.
By CJ Flannery5 years ago in Fiction
Crow Presents
Veronica lay on the couch in sweat pants, eating straight out of a carton of vanilla ice cream. Demi, her roommate, had gone to visit her family for the weekend, leaving her with nothing to do. After dropping out of college Demi had gracefully allowed her to stay at her apartment. A month later she was dropping hints about getting a job and contributing to the rent. Demi started by mentioning how hard it was to work two jobs, or asking about Veronica’s plans for the future.
By Audrey Kaye Blue5 years ago in Fiction
Pass The Parcel
Don sat at his kitchen table. The fluorescent lighting did nothing to soften the menacing look on his menacing face. ‘The equation is simple. You owe me a great deal of money. You take the parcel, follow the instructions and deliver it. Then you don’t owe me any money.’
By Stephen Wyatt5 years ago in Fiction
Joe and Joey
In late winter to early spring is when you’ll see the most traffic at the flower shop. Everyone seems to want a little extra color in their homes at the end of a cold gray winter. If that sounds like you, Joe and Son Flowers has your back.
By Noah Raidiger5 years ago in Fiction
A Partridge and 51 Pear Trees
Sam was in his back yard admiring his pear tree (1) when his wife Sally walked out. “I see your out her with your pear tree (2) again,” said Sally.
By Steve Lance5 years ago in Fiction
Last Night
Andrew looked at the clock as he woke up – just after eight. He slid out of bed so as not to disturb Amy and moved towards the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. After the night they’d had, he was certain that Gary, Toby and Rebecca were going to need it. He quickly registered an unexpected woman on the couch, seemingly still asleep, and a very plain brown-paper wrapped box on the counter that separated the kitchen from the lounge.
By Chris Cunliffe5 years ago in Fiction
Curious Sir Samuel and the Suspicious Stranger
The lunchtime sun beat down on Sir Samuel as he sat and ate a meat pie. Old Lady Elsie had given it to him as he passed by on his way to report his lack of spider-slaying to Farmer Gerald. Sir Samuel drooled when the cinnamon-tinged smoky-sweet scent hit his nose before he even saw the stall where Elsie sold them. Lifting his arm to take another bite, his stewpot shield shifted to tap his elbow, and he gazed across the busy village square at Farmer Gerald’s stall. Waves of color filled the stands the farmer had placed on the counter, a veritable rainbow of fruits and veggies.
By Joshua R. Leuthold5 years ago in Fiction
One Hell of a Night
The mysterious package wrapped in brown paper arrived at our quaint little bistro. My brother and I had started it in our early twenties. That was six years ago, it is now one of the hottest restaurants in Portland.
By JBaz5 years ago in Fiction
A Losing Hand
“It’s a bomb,” Tony said. Rodney rolled his eyes. “It’s not a bomb.” Tony picked up the package from the dining table and juggled it in his arms, feeling the weight shift inside.
By Jason Barlow5 years ago in Fiction
In the front garden
The winding metallic shutters sprung open with elasticated force, clanging loudly against the roof of the lorry, exposing the top half of it’s storage space to the outside world. The clanging sound worked like a gunshot, with birds as the bullets, sending them scattering outwards from the overhead trees. Majestic mammals of the sky disbanding in pure natural rejection to the unwelcome noise. The winged wonders all squawked at the top of their lungs until their noise faded. Whether their squawking carried on after the distance numbed it, I don’t know, because quite frankly the birds are not important, so let's just shush about the birds.
By Rory 5 years ago in Fiction
The Box
The soldiers working in the Conn Barracks post office had it easy compared to their battles sweating it out in the field or in the motor pool. Yes, it was a lot of sorting, lifting, and careful handling of fragile packages and long awaited mail from home, with a lot of smoking and joking in the air conditioned offices. These pogues had it made, but you always wanted them on your side. After all, it could be your mail they were handling. Anything derogatory you had to say needed to be done a safe distance away and shared in confidence with others that would not blow your cover. Or else mail could go missing.
By cd ybarra5 years ago in Fiction
Of 2 Minds
Joe opened his postal box. His mother paid for the postal box because she thought the mail would get stolen in Joe's terrible neighborhood. After all, whenever she was there at Joe's intimate shack, she never saw any envelopes lying around. It was as if nobody wrote letters anymore, which is preposterous, so her conclusion was that there was a land pirate absconding with Joe's parcels. There wasn't. The volume of mail he received in the P.O. box was more or less the same as he had been getting. This time though, there was a brown paper package sitting diagonally in the upright space, and it appeared not to have been sent by his mother.
By Ron Kretschmer5 years ago in Fiction