Descent: A Community Story Challenge
Echoing footsteps in the dark

Note: the following is based on a continuation of “Community Story” prompt presented by most excellent fellow Canadian Donna Fox. I have picked up the story from where she left off, just before the group enters the mysterious temple. If you’d like to join us in the fun, check out the prompt in the link below :)
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The groups with more able chaperones disappeared before us, their St. Martha’s blazer’s vanishing into the gloom of the arched entryway. I remembered reading in the brochure for this trip that Ms. Solecki had forced into my hands that no one knew how old this temple was.
Age was pretty hard to guess, but I assumed it was somewhere in the range of a zillion at least. The thing looked like it had been through at least twenty wars, and I couldn’t repress a strange fear that it would collapse in on itself at any moment.
But that fear was silly, naturally I would never tell anyone that. It would be extremely lame to be afraid of a bunch of rocks falling on our heads, especially since this was a school trip. They would never take us anywhere dangerous.
Not on purpose, anyway. There was that one time with the live cannons, but from what I remembered the investigation ruled it a complete accident. No one would be crazy enough to bring students to an about to collapse ruin. Right?
Sasha bumped my elbow and pointed at one of the massive limestone columns that supported the roof of the temple. It stretched way up there, its top lost in the dim recesses of the ceiling. “See the carvings?”
”Yeah,” I said, still unnerved by the ceiling. “Yeah I see them. Hey did the roof look that tall from the outside?”
”Dunno,” Sasha wandered over to look at the column more closely. “You ever see lines like this? I mean, look at how they curve. I can’t even follow them.”
”Please don’t touch the artefacts,” Mr. Sage’s sandpaper voice grated on our ears. “They’re very old and could be fragile.”
Sasha whipped her hand back and threw a glance over her shoulder, but Mr. Sage was looking at someone else, totally ignoring her. Sticking out her tongue at his back, she defiantly laid her palm against the ancient stone for a moment before retreating back to the group where they clustered obediently around some interpretive signage.
I hung back, trying to understand what Sasha had meant about the pillar. It looked normal to me, Graeco-Roman styling, if my guess was right. But there was something… fuzzy about it. Almost like it was trying not to be looked at. Also, didn’t someone say that this place was older then the Graeco-Roman’s?
“Amy,” Sasha called, “come on, you don’t want to miss the iceberg.”
Mr. Sage was moving again, the clicks of his cane on the sandy stone echoing around the entrance. I hurried to catch up, and followed them deeper into carved-out side of the mountain.
”At least it’s cooler down here,” grinned Sasha as wind from the tunnel lifted her hair from her shoulders.
Reaching up to tuck her hair safely behind her ears, the back of her right hand caught the light from one of those wall-lamps you only see in sci-if B movies. Maybe it was a trick of the light, my mind messing with me to help with the boredom, but I could have sworn something there moved.
Tiny, intricate lines that hurt my eyes even though I only saw them for a second. Barely even that. But she smiled at me and went on complaining about the weather and the heat, and asking what I thought would be for lunch. Normal things. Completely normal.
Of course it was only stray hair on the back of her hand. Lucky girl had enough of it to spare and it went straight down her back to her waist like an obsidian waterfall. I pushed my worries out of my head and followed the rest of the group, matching Sasha complaint for complaint.
Trying to ignore what felt like spider’s legs, slowly crawling down my spine.
Next parts:
"A Community Story [Challenge]" By: Donna Fox (The whole inspiration for this entire series)
"Descent: A Community Story Challenge" by: Yours Truly
"Descent (Part Two)" by: Mackenzie Davis (who is amazing, and everyone should read)
"Descent (Part Three)" by: *politely raises hand* me
"Descent (Part Four)" by: this dude right here.
"Descent (Part Five)" by: some guy named Alex, seems cool.
"Descent (Part Six)" by - drumroll please.... me!
"Descent (Part Seven)" by: is he still doing this? Yes! I am :)
"Descent (Part Eight)" by who's got two thumbs and a writing addiction? This guy!
"Descent (Part Nine)" retrieved from the jaws of the Archive itself by: the last shreds of my sanity XD
"Descent (Part Ten)" discovered on an archaeological dig, that's why it took so long, by a certain very tall dude with bad time management skills ;)
About the Creator
Alexander McEvoy
Writing has been a hobby of mine for years, so I'm just thrilled to be here! As for me, I love writing, dogs, and travel (only 1 continent left! Australia-.-)
"The man of many series" - Donna Fox
I hope you enjoy my madness
AI is not real art!
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes


Comments (7)
Now that I know what some of your favourite literature is this reads so different for me!! Mackenzie is right, from what very little I know about the Percy Jackson series (so just movie promos) this feels like that! After a second read, this is still my favourite!!! 🤫 I was planning to add to this but got distracted by my Jogger's Trail Series, that being said Ms. Davis (below) has added to it, if you'd like to take a look: https://todaysurvey.life/chapters/descent-part-2%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cstyle data-emotion-css="w4qknv-Replies">.css-w4qknv-Replies{display:grid;gap:1.5rem;}
I am getting Percy Jackson vibes from this! Are Sasha and Mr. Sage mythical creatures wearing a human "shimmer?" Are the runes masking a language from a different world? I'm full of ideas for what Amy is getting mere glimpses of; certainly nothing mundane. I absolutely love this, Alexander. SO well written. I applaud you! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💜
I absolutely love where this went. If a good idea comes to me I’ll continue it. If not, I hope someone more imaginative than me picks up here.
Great setup for a creepy descent into ancient and unspeakable horrors.
Very different than Kendall's extension. I can't wait to find out where each one goes next. Great work, Alexander.
Wow.... Alex I want more!! I need more!! This was way too good!!! If you don't publish a continuation I might have to attempt one! I love the concept you went with!! This was so tense and exciting for me!! I loved your description of the pillar how it was “trying not to be looked at”! I laughed at the iceberg comment, so witty! Thank you for participating and absolutely going for it!!! 💙
Yikes! I want more... ;)