The Democracy Sausage

Apparently, the Democracy Sausage (and it's cousin, the Democracy Bacon and Egg Roll, not to mention Great Aunts Democracy Cupcake and Democracy Slice...) is a uniquely Australian phenomenon, which honestly baffles me.

No one likes standing in line to vote, but the thing that gets everyone out the door and fighting through the hoardes of under-paid campaigners handing out flyers for people who have been deliberately avoiding the news and social media for the past month, is the promise of a Democracy Sausage. Spend an hour waiting in line and five minutes debating the least-worst party to put on the ballot, then it's back out the door while counting your loose change to decide how you're going to reward yourself for being an upstanding citizen who resisted the urge to draw a giant cartoon phallus on the ballot instead.

(I've been a Polling Station volunteer. Not everyone resists the urge, though occasionally we get political essays written on the blank back of the ballot)

With polling stations set up at nearly every public primary school in the country, it's also a great way for the schools to raise funds, and give the older students some work experience and extra credit. Just figure out which parents have a portable BBQ, or hire one in a pinch, and grab a couple of gas bottles from the nearest Servo. Add a giant beach umbrella or shade tent from any of the Big Four retailers (K-Mart, Target, Big W or Bunnings) and you're good to go.

Literally everyone in Australia has access to an Esky (Chilly-Bin for the New Zealanders), and every petrol station sells bags of ice in a pinch. Most stores sell sausages in bulk, and loaves of sliced bread. Some of them even sell pre-diced onions.

If you can't get pre-diced onions, just assign the job of Head Onion-Slicer to whichever volunteer has been complaining the loudest, and now they can at least be justified in whining about the unfairness of life.

The Cakes, Slices and lolly bags usually get to set up in the School Cafeteria, so the Democracy Sausage stand picks the best shaded spot and starts grilling.

The production line is simple: First person handles the cash box and drinks. Person Two grabs a napkin and puts a slice of bread on it. Person the Third adds a properly crisped up sausage, placed diagonally if you don't want to be the recipient of vicious mockery. What are you, British? A Yank? Australia does it diagonally!

Optional Fourth person offers caremalised onions and points out where the sauce botles are. If you're short on people or someone ducked off to the Dunny, this can be handled by the Responsible Adult running the grill multi-tasking. Yes, Dads can multi-task, especially if the alternative is explaining to Mums why the kids came home with a haircut and a suspiciously burnt smell lingering around them...

With an election coming up in a few months, and my having fairly large differences of opinion with all the major parties (though certainly some more than others), the promised Democracy Sausage is my main motivation to pry myself out of bed on a Saturday and go vote. And Spite. Dutton and his Wannabe-Trump policies can go pick a fight with a Cassowary.

So, how does one make this most worthy and iconic of Australian Cultural Cuisines?

I'm glad you asked.

You Will Need:

• Sausages
• Bread
• Onions
• Mustard
• Tomato Sauce
• BBQ Sauce
• Bacon (optional)
• Eggs (optional)
• Veggie Snausages/Vegan options, if you absolutely must (optional)
• Disposable food-handling gloves. Lots of them.
• Bulk boxes of water bottles, juice boxes and soft drink cans (optional)

Buy in bulk, or plan for an angry mob (or to send someone to do a grocery run) when you run out before noon...

Method

First, you need to find a portable barbeque. In the rare instance that none of the school parents have one, they can be hired for a weekend. You can make the sausages in a pan on the stovetop, but not in the quantities you'll need.

Second, plan to get to your kid's school early for optimal parking spots and set-up spaces. The crowds come early. Also, bring change, and plenty of it. Everyone will try to pay in 20s and 50s.

Turn on the barbie and get to grilling. (Ignore any leaflet holders hoping grifting for freebies. We do not support Political Entitlements Down Under)

1. Get a production line going.
2. First person takes the cash and hands back the change (assign this to whichever kid is struggling with Math. They need the practice.)
3. Second person puts the bread on the napkin and hands it to the customer
4. Responsible Adult handles the BBQ, adding sausage to bread and offering onions.
5. (Semi-Responsible teenagr can take over the BBQ when the Responsible Adult needs a bathroom break, but don't let the Primary School kids do it, no matter how tall they are.)
6. Fourth person in the back of the stall deals with stabbing the sausages with a fork and chopping the onions. They can switch out with the cash handler when either one needs a break.
7. Profit

Yes, it's an incredibly simple recipe.

Yes, anyone can make it.

But not everyone does, which is why there's literally an app to tell voters which polling stations will have Democracy sausages on offer on voting day.

Heck, even the people who pre-voted or sent their votes by mail are likely to show up as briefly as possible to get their Democracy sausage and a selfie. It's part of the Great Aussie Spirit of Mateship, don't ask me to explain it!

But, it's a recipe, and one that I hadn't posted on Vocal already, so it's worth writing up for this challenge.

I don't make the rules, I just Rules-Lawyer my way around them. But even I, in my pathalogical avoidence of dealing with people I don't know, will make exceptions for a Democracy Sausage on Election Day.

If you're interested in more extremely simple recipes, check out the cookbook I put together for exaactly that purpose