It's B A N A N A S.

I have always said, food is my love language.

A year ago, I left an abusive relationship; one where they HATED everything I cooked or baked. I wore myself down making anything I could to make them happy with food and usually it ended with them throwing it in the garbage. After a while, I stopped cooking and baking completely; I stopped doing what I loved.

After I left that person, I moved in with my sister and her family to regroup and heal. This isn’t a sob story about my abuse or a redemption story about how I overcame that trauma; this is a story about the first time I started baking again for my niece and nephew.

Kids are brutally honest and it’s terrifying. I didn’t want to make something for them with a simple “yuck” in response.

So one morning, while everyone was still asleep, I crept down into the kitchen and raided the cupboards for a few items:

Flour

Sugar

Bananas

Baking powder

Baking soda

Vanilla extract

Almond milk

Applesauce

I was determined to make banana bread muffins for the two little gremlins that slept so soundly in their beds upstairs.

If you are into food as much as I am, not working in your own kitchen is so intimidating and foreign; searching for bowls, pans, utensils is a nightmare when you don’t know where everything is.

After spending a good 30 minutes mashing bananas, preheating the oven, mixing everything together and scooping them out into a pan, I raided the back of the pantry and added chocolate chips, chia seeds, flax seeds and sunflower seeds for a variety of flavor.

The muffins took about 40 minutes to bake off but soon enough the smell of banana bread filled the kitchen and crept into the other rooms of the house.

It wasn’t long until I saw a pair of two tiny little legs coming down the stairs paired with a sleepy smile and insane bed head curls.

My 2 year old nephew sat at the kitchen table and rubbed his eyes.

“Do you want a muffin Fox?” I asked; suddenly I became terrified and when I looked back at my 2 year old nephew all I saw was Gordon Ramsey in a chef coat staring back at me, ready to call me an idiot sandwich at any moment.

“No,” He said flatly. I would have been slightly hurt but these days, he basically used no as a universal word for everything.

“Fox, you don’t want a yummy muffin?” My sister walked down the stairs and sat next to him. I grabbed the tray of muffins and set them on the table in front of them and let my sister grab one for him.

I watched the mini Gordon Ramsey grab a chocolate chip banana bread muffin and let his mom break it apart into smaller pieces. At this point, I was sweating; my hands were clammy, my teeth were grinding back and forth and my body was involuntarily shaking, all because of a two year old eating a muffin.

“Is it good?” My sister asked, also taking a bite.

“Yeah mom,” His little voice replied.

Those two words made my heart swell and my confidence bloom.

It might not seem like a big deal, but when you have been with someone for the last two years who would throw away the food you made, right in front of you, positive reinforcement from a 2 year old feels huge.

Banana bread in general has a special place in my heart just for this reason; I think it's a pretty good reason.

**Recipe**

INGREDIENTS:

1 ¾ cups flour

⅓ cup cane sugar

2 tsp baking powder

⅓ cup unsweetened applesauce

3 overripe bananas

½ tsp baking soda

1 tsp vanilla extract

Pinch of salt

¼ cup oat milk **you can use any kind of dairy alternative milk but I personally like oat the best**

½ cup chocolate chips

1 tbs sunflower seeds

1 tbs chia seeds

1 tbs flax seeds

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Mash bananas together and add applesauce and vanilla extract and mix well.

In a separate bowl, add chia, flax and sunflower seeds and mix together. Set aside.

Add flour, cane sugar, baking powder, unsweetened applesauce, baking soda, salt, and mix until flour is combined.

If the mixture is too thick add oat milk until desired consistency.

Pour batter into a greased muffin tin and add chocolate chips to half and add 1 tsp to each muffin and take a knife and swirl it in **if there is any leftover add on top.**

Insert into the oven and check with a toothpick after 30 minutes.

If the toothpick comes out clean, remove it from the oven. If there is batter stuck to the toothpick, leave it in for increments of 3 minutes until the toothpick comes out clean.

Remove from the pan and let them cool.

Add your favorite vegan butter or agave and enjoy!