Word of the Day: ルンルン

Yes, it was funny, I kept getting random packages, that weren't even near my address when I first moved in. That should've told me everything I needed to know.

Obviously they wanted me to check upstairs but, this isn't the place for that. I never felt this was the place for that.

I knew how long I was going to stay here for so, it was silly for anyone to be playing games with me.... Mmmmmmmmm perhaps it was the games played by the previous renter.? I will concede to this possibility. Either way, I can't be sure.

I still have things on my TODOs that need addressing but I am also preparing for tomorrow on top of everything else.

I can't even blame my mom either. She did her best at times, but I do think she knew some things and didn't tell me.

I have to admit that, at least.

Nothing, no one can keep me of dreaming of the future. I know I will get out of this slump in my TODOs, one way or another.

I never learned Kristie's zodiac sign. I doubt Adam would even tell me since he said " I renounce my sign. " That is silly. You can hide it but it isn't gone. Also you don't have to go according to that, but it doesn't mean it doesn't exists. Obviously free will is a thing.

For example. I was very of the mind that Uriah would be a Gemini but his mom's genes were more strong. I don't blame him for this. I think it is actually profound. If he were born a Gemini, it would've cursed his dad more, and his dad is already cursed. His name might as well have been Azazael as far as I am concerned.

I need to calm down though, running about won't help me.

I actually need to eat more... I know when my emotional outbursts are just me being hungry and when they are... "serious"

Yes, there is serious business but, I am not helpful nor can navigate anything on an empty stomach... I have some things I need to eat to maintain my health which I will buy tomorrow but, I kind of want to eat something just for pleasure. I wrote down a restaurant on my TODOs. Perhaps I will go there. It is a place very good at giving people a surplus in calories.

I also miss cooking... I wish I could cook... unfortunately that is a luxury I can't afford at the moment. I would never make bad food on purpose. I love food too much. It gives me a lot of joy to see people enjoy my food too. If they don't like it, it is ok... people are entitled to their tastes, and even I sometimes don't like certain foods despite how well it is made, though I acknowledge the skill/effort at the very least.

I think it is a real embarrassment when a date makes a big deal of that at a restaurant. Even if you worked at a restaurant before, what? You are now at such a high level that you can treat the cooks like shit now? No. I know your job is good, but you don't go shitting on theirs... If it is that bad just say. " Hey, I am not really feeling this place. I know this better place called, _____. Do you want to go there? They make the best _____. "

Well... I can't go on about things right now.. And I question continuing my TODOs... mmm....

I still keep my anxiety medication. Because I know that being in too much of a panic is a detriment to anyone. I don't think crying or being angry is, but if you are a chicken without a head, what are you going to do?

Though I will admit, doing things in a flurry is actually hyper productive in a chaotic way. You'll get like 54% productivity in less of the time.... but the 46% is like.... just.... chaotic destruction making you wonder if it was worth the while?