This Is What I Do When People Throw Rocks At Me

Rocks have been thrown at me for a greater part of my life. Some have been small and missed hitting me. When people don't get a reaction from me, they throw bigger rocks with a better aim. Many have been hurled at me with precision over the years. For a long time, I thought my only options were to dodge them or be crushed by them.

A Life-Changing Lesson

I learned something life-changing. When people throw rocks at me to hurt me, I don’t throw the rocks back to hurt them. I stand on them. Here is a little clarity. I don't stand on people. This is what I do:

I put the rocks in a pile and stand on the pile.

When people throw rocks at me to hurt me, I stand on the pile to rise above the attempt to hurt me in areas they perceive to be the most vulnerable and fragile.

While my enemies mean to harm me, I use the rocks as material to build a foundation. I turn those rocks into stepping stones. I name each rock as it comes toward me. I place them in a pile. At first, the pile is small. Then it grows and grows.

The Pile of Rocks

By looking at the pile of rocks in the photo above, you will see that the first rock was Failure. I am not a failure, but some think I am because the house I live in is not as big as theirs. I don't buy a new car every year to keep up with the Joneses. Actually, I am a minimalist.

The second rock was Undermining. That's the action of lessening the effectiveness, power, or ability of someone, especially gradually or insidiously. Employers and other authority figures have undermined me on several occasions. I am standing on that rock and seeing from a higher level.

The third rock is one named Insults. Family members, co-workers, and so-called friends insult me privately and in public. They think that blowing out my candle will make theirs shine brighter. I stand on that third rock after putting it in the pile.

When the Criticism rock appeared, the pile grew higher. This one has come often and from people I least expected. The Criticism rock was sharp-edged, but I sanded it down and stood on it. That stone gives me thicker skin and sharper focus. While some criticism is helpful, the kind that's thrown reveals more about the thrower than about me as the target.

Hate is a strong emotion. I have felt hatred from some people, even though I have never given them any reason to hate me. Some people have been bold enough to tell me why they dislike me. The reasons that give are far-fetched. When I stand on the Hate rock, I decide to love the throwers anyway, realizing that something is missing in their lives, not mine.

Rejection was not the last rock thrown, but it was big and heavy enough to be piled by itself on top. I can stand comfortably on it. It has come in the form of unanswered emails, neglected texts, and no RSVP's for invitations. Whenever I place my feet on the Rejection rock, I am elevated. It forces me to gain a higher vantage point, clarify my goals, and find open doors that are meant for me.

Those six rocks labeled in the photo are not the only rocks that have been aimed at me. There are other rocks: Betrayal, Misunderstanding, Self-Doubt, and Fear. Each one felt unbearable at the moment, but later they became a structural support.

Self-Doubt and Fear were not thrown by others. They were added to the pile by yours truly.

With all the rocks being thrown at me, I experienced Self-Doubt and Fear at times. I had to dig deep and stop doubting and fearing that the rocks would actually harm me.

Options For Flying Rocks

Here’s what I discovered about rocks that are hurled at me.

• Rocks only hurt when they hit me. Once they land, there are options.
• Every rock that is thrown at me becomes my stepping stone.
• I carefully arrange the rocks into a pile and give them another purpose.
• When I stand on the pile of rocks, I become elevated.
• The pile of rocks helps me focus, redirect, and grow.
• The higher I stand, the clearer my vision becomes.
• I can see from the pile what I can't see from ground level.
• The rocks have taught me valuable lessons.

Read "Confession: "I Am a Minimalist"