The Last Day of the Year

My New Year Countdown Clock indicates that I have just over five hours left before this year is over. I am stuck in the suburbs with my mother and stepfather, contemplating what I am going to eat and drink to celebrate this great change in our lives. The weather is cold, but I do not feel as though it has really affected my attitude about what the new year will bring...but I am not as happy with this moment as I usually feel.

In short, I am not sure what I am going into as 2026 rears up and begins to take over.

I spend the end of every year heading back to the family, attempting to see as many relatives as possible and trying to find some sign of the hometown I grew up in. Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, is not a city filled with delights, but there is still a lot that can be enjoyed if you make an effort: the Bruce Trail; Gage Park; The Art Gallery of Hamilton; The Hamilton Farmers' Market, and so on. The thing is...this year I have only managed to make it to a few local malls, take a few runs when the sidewalks were not doubling as skating rinks, and a trip to my brother's house for a game night that was a little bit more lucrative than usual. I feel no great urge to see any of the other spots mentioned above before heading back to Montréal.

And this does bother me.

I look at the people around me and wonder just where the time goes. I can see that my mother and stepfather have a whole community around them who love them and take care of them. But they are not the people I grew up with as a boy and a young man who looked to them for advice and inspiration. Now, I am the one who has to make sure that the medicine gets taken, a supporting arm is there when they are crossing the floor or climbing stairs, and that I do not let them down with my own life after all of their hard work and effort.

It can be tricky. I realize that my old behaviours have also changed. I just finished Margaret Atwood's 'The Handmaid's Tale' because I was determined to leave my copy for my mother after she revealed how much she wanted to read it herself (I am still interested in writing about it, or finally watching the show or movie). Along with Jeannette McCurdy's 'I'm Glad My Mother Died,' she is going to have a very interesting time with the books on her TBR list. And the reason why I mention those books is that they were closer companions to me than any of the other media sources I usually turned to (YouTube or television). Sitting in front of another screen without contributing my own thoughts to what I had in front of me was not appealing.

And that was the reason why I attempted to take a break...and am failing miserably.

This is one of the two or three main pages that I contribute to online, and I have to continue with it. The only other distraction was a guitar that was missing one string and seemed a memory of a different era. The constant scribbling and sharing of my thoughts is not a resolution that I have to announce or question. If 2026 promises anything, it will be more thoughts and ideas on the computer screen, and hopefully more feedback from you and yours.

And now, you must excuse me. There are bottles of rosé and sparkling wine that need opening, along with dinner and snacks that may have grown cold as I sat here.

All the best in 2026...

Can't be any worse that the year that just passed, right?

Right?

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You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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