Secret Confession #6

But during college, I shared an apartment with a girl named Mia. We were taking the same course, and thus we had late-night study sessions plus similar experiences. Mia was one of those natural simpletons. She had a boyfriend, and from what I could gather, really seemed to be content about every angle of her life. She was academically very brilliant, always topping her class, and often she discussed freely with her classmates her affair with her boyfriend and even gave some intimate details of their life together.

Night after night I'd hear her on the phone with him, their laughter and playful repartee filling the air, the conversations turning into increasingly steamy exchanges. It was a glimpse of that intimate side of her life, personal, private-even to me, but I couldn't help but admire how utterly content she seemed; she was in her studies and in her relationship, really taking advantage of the college experience.

However, one night it was different. It must have been some time around 1 AM when I woke up. I had a sudden urge to go to the bathroom. I walked out of my room and saw that Mia was not in her bed. At first, I thought she was in the bathroom or talking to her boyfriend. She always used to as the night time progresses. Brushing it aside, however, as I went towards the bathroom, restlessness caught my entire body.

As I entered the bathroom and opened the door, what was shown before my eyes was something that I certainly could not have prepared for. There was Mia standing naked, with no clothes over her. There was a big mirror hanging on one wall of the bathroom, and she was standing in front of it. She lit a candle, and in the dim light of the room, a flickering flame casts eerie shadows around her. It is simply unbelievable-theoretically surreal: I am used to seeing Mia as simple and happy, but this was almost otherworldly.

Just as she was saying that something made the hairs on my neck stand up: "Bloody Mary, come," which reverberated in that small space. It really brought this wash of fear over me. My heart continued to race as reality set in. Is she doing some kind of ritual? Has she lost her grip on reality?

So, instinct took over, and I turned on my heel and ran downstairs in a daze. My mind was racing fast as I approached the guard and warden to frantically describe what had just transpired. They listened, concern and disbelief temporarily overtaking their faces, assuring me they would check on her.

Next morning, I found Mia quite ill-looking. Bright color was replaced by an awful whiteness. When asked about the previous night, she claimed that she had been asleep and that she might have been sleepwalking. Well, now now that was probably a pretty good explanation. It's just that something just didn't feel right with me. The image of her standing there in complete vulnerability and chanting those ominous words stays with me.

However, whatever she said, it was not something. Perhaps this was a cry for help; a sign unconscious rather than conscious made one feel that probably this was not everything golden as thought. She seemed to lead a life charmed above; but perhaps it was only a story and various questions unresolved were held beneath the sounds of silken smooth acceptance.

The incident day after day kept haunting me. It made me think about how we seldom see one another's struggles even as they appear to be having their best deal. Mia was more than just a student, or just a girlfriend; she came with her fight and fears. All these experiences also taught me how deep the human condition really is-with many truths we tend to hide, hidden battles that we fight in silence.

Eventually, that night was going to be a turning point for me; it was a lesson in empathy and understanding getting beyond the facade. Sometimes, happiness is a facade over reality. I kept supporting Mia as well because I hoped she would find the help and clarity she needed.