The Schizophrenic Mom
Bio
I am a mother of 2 precious angels who drive me slightly more crazy
than I already am with a diagnosis of schizophrenia.
When asked "are you crazy?!" my favorite come back is:
"yes! And I have the papers to prove it! How about you?" LOL
Stories (149)
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A Year's Reflections. Content Warning.
I was reflecting on the last year of my life. Last December, I was doing everything I could do to try to protect myself and my children from the threat that I couldn't let anyone know about. I had a couple of women's shelters saved on my phone and had a "go bag" packed and hidden so that I could flee at a moment's notice. I tried my best to play my part correctly - I was a good Christian wife who needed to submit to her husband after all. I was devastated on New Year's Eve when after I had put in so much work over the holidays and twisted myself up into a pretzel to attempt to not get physically hurt, that my partner didn't even care to celebrate the launch of my 3rd book. We had just watched the movie he wanted to watch: Free Guy. But, it was never going to be enough from me and I accepted it as the last piece of my heart shattered as he just shrugged off my accomplishment.
By The Schizophrenic Momabout a year ago in Humans
Resilience. Content Warning.
This past year opened my eyes to what I have been told I am: resilient. But, up until recently, I didn't believe it. I mean, resilience is basically being good at adapting to challenging life experiences - and change has long been a difficult situation for me, so how can I possibly be resilient?!
By The Schizophrenic Momabout a year ago in Motivation
I Wish You Were Here
14 years ago today, you left us. I really wish that you were here right now to tell me that Jesus loves me and to remind me to trust in him, but... you taught your daughter well as she keeps reminding me. You'd be so proud of my Mom!
By The Schizophrenic Momabout a year ago in Families
Welcoming the Sabbath
Tonight is Friday night and at sundown, Sabbath began. I was listening to one of my favorite Christian playlists, while trying not to cry, and thinking back to something a good friend said, "good things come to good people." My life has been throwing one thing after another at me - which makes me feel insane and started to question if maybe deep down I am a terrible person who is just now getting what they deserve.
By The Schizophrenic Momabout a year ago in Journal
A Door, A Woman, and a Frightened Child. Content Warning.
There was only one rule: don't open the door. The individual holding my hand quietly asked, "why not?" I didn't quite know how to answer her as I felt myself shrink and the forbidden door grow ever larger.
By The Schizophrenic Momabout a year ago in Horror
I Love You
I remember the first time I love you slipped out to a girlfriend. She was supposed to be my best friend and used it to demand me spending money on her, used it to demand that we do what she wanted to because "that's what you do for people you love," and used it to demand that I give her emotional attention even when I was so drained after the death of my grandmother. I didn't love her enough to keep her friendship.
By The Schizophrenic Momabout a year ago in Confessions
