John Oliver Smith
Bio
Baby, son, brother, child, pupil, athlete, collector, farmer, photographer, player, uncle, coach, husband, student, writer, teacher, father, science guy, fan, grandpa, comedian, traveler, chef, story-teller, driver, gardener, regular guy!!!
Achievements (1)
Stories (126)
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My First Owl
I never really thought much about being a wizard – it just happened. I suppose that I was a wizard from the moment I was born. I’m not sure. One day I was mindlessly playing in the living room and Mom hollered in, “OK, time to clean up for lunch.” And, the next thing I knew, all the toys and games were put away neatly back in the box, my hands were washed and I was sitting at the table, ready to eat another hearty meal of her favorite dish – liver and onions. I was as surprised as anyone that it had all happened. That was the first time I realized consciously, that I could do things like that - you know, have a big affect on the world.
By John Oliver Smith4 years ago in Petlife
Nap Time Everyone
A famous and renowned philosopher and comedian, by the name of George Carlin once remarked, “People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.' So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.”
By John Oliver Smith4 years ago in Journal
Dogs I Knew Somewhere . Top Story - December 2021.
Part I – Rusty I remember a stray dog that had been taken in by my uncle, who lived in the farmyard across the road from our yard. I am not sure of the breed of the dog but he appeared to be a mix of some sort of Collie, with a dash of Spaniel and a sprinkling of Lab plus a light touch of sinister and evil. My uncle found him in a small bluff of marsh willows out in the pasture. The dog’s foot had been injured and he was obviously starving. Uncle Harry nursed him back to health and fed him until he had regained much of his lost weight. The dog naturally became very fond of my uncle and he followed him loyally around the farm and into the barn and out in the grain fields. He became my uncle’s protector and body-guard. If anyone so much as spoke loudly to my uncle or tried to sit in his favorite chair, the dog would intervene with a bark, a menacing growl and finally a little snap with his teeth. Because of this routine, the dog was eventually named, “Nipper”. Old Nipper had the run of the farm for a couple of years and became very skilled at killing rats and chasing escaped pigs back into the outside fenced enclosure.
By John Oliver Smith4 years ago in Petlife
Putting the Planet Back Together
I had some time to myself the other day, and I was thinking. Let’s say that someone, like God maybe, gave me a job to select a committee of all-star individuals that would put their heads together and come up with a plan of action to save the Planet. Who would I pick, living or dead, to serve on that committee? And, what would be my reasons for selecting the chosen few? Well, I thought about it and I came up with a list of 30 people (past and present) whom I think would do a pretty good job of “gettin’ ‘er done”. The people I have chosen to be on this hypothetical committee are listed in no particular order of importance. They simply need to be sitting somewhere around the table when the process starts. I have also included a short present-tense selection rationale for each candidate along with a photo to remind us all of their strength and character.
By John Oliver Smith4 years ago in Motivation
Twice or Thrice the Mice Would Suffice
Prologue A female mouse has the potential to survive in the wild (or even in an improvised cage in a Grade 8 classroom) for about 2 years. The gestation period for this female mouse, if she becomes pregnant (rather, when she becomes pregnant), is about 20 days. The nursing period for each litter of pups (yes, baby mice are referred to as pups) is about 15 days. Ultimately, this means that a single female mouse can become pregnant as many as 10 times in one year. Each pregnancy can yield as many as 6 pups. A quick calculation at this point, places the number of offspring that one female can produce in her lifetime, at about 120. Each litter of pups would normally have a likelihood of producing 3 females, which themselves would begin ovulating at about 8 weeks after birth, and at which time, they will likely become pregnant and bring three more litters of mouse pups into the world, 20 short days after that. Within the life span of one pair of mating mice and in the year following their death, the number of mice that could be produced by them and all of their offspring and all of their offspring’s offspring, and so on, would hover around the 7200 mark. Whoa! With that in mind, let’s begin our story.
By John Oliver Smith4 years ago in Fiction
No Way I Have to Respect Your Choice
The drastically overused concept of “Political Correctness”, as an empowering and self-enabling justification for truly bad choices, is a moral cop-out. It has become the “soupe de jour” for uneducated individuals who believe that any of their selfish, effortless personal choices and resultant actions are always defensible, simply because they are humans and they have the “right to choose”. Some small-minded types may imagine, in their wildest fantasies, that all of mankind is required to accept and / or respect any choice made by them, no matter how ludicrous and harmful the results may be. They feel that the political correctness we so boldly brandish in today’s civilized world, offers suitable protection from ridicule and evaluation of the ignorant and hurtful things they do and say. One drawback is that these same self-righteous souls are seldom on board with accepting the consequences of their choices. For example, If I am expected to accept and respect a person’s right to choose NOT to be vaccinated against the Covid virus, and any of its variants, that person must also accept and respect my decision NOT to allow him into my place of business or my home. Sometimes, I think it would be easier if I just refused to accept / respect that person’s choice in the first place, then there would be no nasty surprises for anyone regarding the acts that follow.
By John Oliver Smith4 years ago in Humans
Jokus Practicalicus (Part III)
. . . previously on Jokus Practicalicus, Jonas was saved from Joe’s brutal behavior by his teacher Miss Anderson, while another teacher’s belongings fell out her desk drawer – LOL, LMAO, LMFAO, HAHAHA. Mortimer played a trick on his friend, who ended up in the police station!! Jerry, Will, Morris and Danny had a close brush with danger in the form of Jerry’s uncle, but were eventually saved by an unknown garage mechanic. George plays a trick on Bill and some other friends as they all end up NOT winning the lottery . . .
By John Oliver Smith4 years ago in Fiction
Jokus Practicalicus (Part I)
Chapter One There are a gazillion different tricks and gags, one might see played on people of all ages during one’s lifetime. Some are just plain lame. Others are pretty good. But, there are several practical jokes out there, that will stand forever in the chronicles of sheer brilliance and creativity. Jokes which cause one to stretch one’s imagination so far, that it is truly difficult to believe the jokes themselves, much less the accounts of them, are actually true.
By John Oliver Smith4 years ago in Fiction
Jokus Practicalicus (Part II)
. . . previously on Jokus Practicalicus, Jonas was saved from Joe’s brutal behavior by his teacher Miss Anderson, while another teacher’s belongings fell out her desk drawer – LOL, LMAO, LMFAO, HAHAHA. Mortimer played a trick on his friend, who ended up in the police station!!
By John Oliver Smith4 years ago in Fiction
Simple Joke-writing 101
Not to give away any of my trade secrets or anything but, as a teacher, this is how I used to spend most of my school day – writing jokes (or at least, researching material for writing jokes). Since, it was so much fun (way better than actually teaching or going to meetings and listening to department heads and administrators drone on for hours about exam week policies and evacuation procedures), I thought I would pass on to you, the real secrets of LIFE and “STAND-UP”.
By John Oliver Smith4 years ago in Humans
