Sobriety made me homeless

I get so tired of hearing that all homeless people are alcoholics and drug addicts. This simply is not true. In fact, here is my shocking truth: I believe sobriety made me homeless.

Let me explain. Before I moved to Denver on a whim in 2018, I lived in my hometown of Rock Island, Ill., part of the Quad-Cities. I returned there after living in Los Angeles in the 1990s. Most of my time in the Quad-Cities was spent at the local newspapers, where I worked, but also at a tavern in Davenport, Iowa. Indeed, my life revolved around work and that tavern, and I spent many, many hours a day there. Usually from 4 p.m. to 2 a.m. I absolutely knew all the gay people in town and had a whole lot of friends.

But when I became sober in 2014 all my friends disappeared. I should say, I ghosted many of them. Sobriety led me to social isolation (I didn’t care for 12-step programs), and my mental health began to unravel. Without friends, family, or even dysfunctional companions, there's no one to say, “you need help,” “come crash here,” or “let’s figure this out.”

I did have a safety net – I inherited about $150,000 from my dad when he died in 2015 – but I blew through it in three years not working. When I began to slide into psychosis, nobody would hire me.

Distancing myself from the sauce

I knew I could not be around drinkers if I wanted to stay sober – at least not then. I really did not have any close friends outside of that bar. My parents are dead, and my brother and I are estranged. Nobody seemed to care that I was slowly going insane. I had a therapist who was truly kind, but she wasn’t immensely helpful. I spiraled out of control with undiagnosed schizoaffective disorder, moved to Denver, where I knew no one, and became homeless in just three months. Stone sober. My apartment was actually paid for when I first became homeless, but I did not feel safe there, so I began to stay in luxury hotels like Hyatt House and The Art. The small amount of money I made from selling my house went fast.

I remained sober for several months of homelessness but eventually I gave in and started drinking with a friend I made on the street. I figured I had nothing more to lose at that point. Thankfully, when I became housed again, I stopped drinking again, and I still don’t drink to this day. I do use cannabis and have a medical card.

Social isolation after sobriety

There is research on social isolation after sobriety: Studies show that people in recovery often lose their social networks — especially if those networks were built around substance use. This isolation can be profound and destabilizing. My dad, my only living parent, and my 25-year-old cat both died shortly after I became sober. There was no shoulder to cry on.

Most addiction recovery models focus on detox, therapy, and relapse prevention—but they often overlook the loss of community that comes with quitting. For many, substance use isn’t just a habit—it’s a social identity. When you step away from that, you’re not just quitting a substance; you’re stepping out of a world.

Losing hope during homelessness

Sobriety is the new world. And navigating it on your own is challenging even with a roof over your head. For people experiencing homelessness, survival becomes the ultimate goal. That can mean using meth to stay up at night so you don’t get rolled. Or it may mean taking nips of vodka to warm up and help you get through the chilly winter days.

No, I don’t believe that most homeless people are addicted to drugs when they become unhoused. But several turn to drugs once they find themselves in that predicament. They give up hope. I finally got help when I was admitted against my will to the state mental hospital.

So don’t judge homeless people with addiction. They likely weren’t addicted to anything when they became homeless. It happens as a result of homelessness. Some folks, like me, entered homelessness stone sober. No cigarettes, even.

And let me be perfectly clear: Despite ending up homeless, quitting drinking is the best thing I ever did for myself. I feel 100 times healthier and happier. But starting over after getting sober was devastating.