Colin Bridgerton: Demi-Romantic Representation

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I've written before about Bridgerton, for all it's flaws, doing good things in terms of representation. I'm not the only one talking about that, but there's one thing that I'm not sure anyone else has actually noticed, something that I honestly never expected to see in a Romance show.

Specifically, the heavy implication of Colin being A-Spectrum, likely Demisexual.

The A in 'LGBTQIA' stands for Asexual/Aromantic, from the Greek root prefix a-, meaning a negative. Asexual specifically means someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction, but also functions as an umbrella term for a range of people who may experience sexual attraction only rarely, or under specific circumstances.

Demisexuality means that someone only experiences sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional bond with that person, perhaps as friends, perhaps as co-workers, or mutual enthusiasm on a subject.

The idea that a Male Romantic Lead might NOT be constantly revving to go, is so rare as to be almost non-existent. When it does exist, it's presented more as "saving himself for the right one", or a problem to be fixed.

So, let me lay out the facts.

In Season 1, Colin barely even kisses Marina, and resists her multiple attempts to seduce him. Despite this, he is willing to marry her and claim her children as his, right up until Marina admits that she doesn't love him and never did. That's the moment his romantic feelings for her die, though he still retains some concern for her.

In Season 2, when Colin goes to visit Romley Hall, his conversation with Marina is stilted and halting, until he starts talking with Sir Phillip about plants. Then it's well past nightfall, and they're exchanging plant puns and jokes like they've known each other for years.

In Season 3, he flirts with every woman in the room, clearly trying to emulate his older brothers, but he never says anything he wouldn't repeat in church, and shuts down attempts to probe beneath the surface layer.

All of this indicates that when there are mutual interests, Colin forms deep connections quickly and easily, and that sexual desire isn't his first requirement for a relationship.

Even more tellingly, Colin doesn't seem to distinguish the way he treats Penelope - calling her by an affectionate nickname, holding her hand, dancing with her almost exclusively - as anything beyond a strong friendship, while with any other young lady, her parents would be insisting on an engagement the first time they were alone and absent a chaperone.

On some level Colin must recognize this, because during the Flirtation Montage in the first episode of Season 3, he is very guarded in what he says to the other young ladies, careful not to step over any lines of propriety, yet the first time he speaks to Penelope, those boundaries are nowhere to be seen, and his first thought is to speak privately.

Colin doesn't see his actions with Penelope as remarkable, because he's already loved her for years, without sexual intimacy ever being a consideration.

Then, after a single, clandestine kiss, Colin gets a concussive wallop with a clue-by-4 of Rude Awakenings, and can think of nothing but kissing Penelope. As soon as the prospect of Penelope kissing someone that isn't him is on the table, Colin becomes an absolute mess, because he can't fathom Penelope sharing the bond she has with him... with someone else.

There is a sharp divide in Season 3, between the Gentleman-About-Town facade Colin is putting on in an attempt to fit in with the other young Lords and Gentlemen, and the lonely young man he is trying to conceal.

Everyone makes a big deal about Colin having a threesome with two women, but leaves out how much of a passive participant he is. Brothel!Colin is going through the motions, and finding it empty from the lack of emotional connection.

He even says as much to Lord Fyfe and Lord Stanton. His tales of the Italian Contessa focus more on their interactions before the clothes, presumably, came off - another hint that Colin wasn't sowing wild oats, but sharing himself with those he found a genuine, if fleeting, connection with.

Lord Fyfe claims that Colin is "far more fun" this Season, and invites him to return to the brothel. Colin is visibly reluctant, and questions if his companions don't find paid sex "empty". During the second threesome, he's clearly disassociating because he doesn't know how to back out.

Back to a more Meta perspective, many Demisexuals find themselves falling in love with their best friends, rarely able to pinpoint when their feelings changed from friendship to love.

It's a perfect fit for the "Friends-To-Lovers" season.